When DC family looks down at your small town relocation

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a nice part of DC and am the only one of my entire extended family to have left the area. Moved to the SF Bay Area for more than a decade, and have now relocated to a small college town in the Midwest for a great job opportunity. Do I miss SF and DC and all that city life offers? Sure. But I’m generally happy with my small town and community. Been here a couple years and don’t know if it’ll be forever, but I’m enjoying it while I’m here.

The problem? Any interaction with family in DC involves them putting down my small town and asking how I’m “surviving” and how long I’ll have to stay here. They all loved San Francisco and visiting ne there, so it’s not an issue of me having left DC and being far from family. It’s that they look down on the Midwest and small towns.

Any advice on how to respond without being defensive? Or sounding like I agree with what they think - that my new town sux? I get where they’re coming from but it’s beginning to feel rude and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations on breaking away from your family - that shows maturity and independence that some grown adults do not have, OP!

Also, congratulations on getting out of this hell hole and doing what is right for you and your family!

Nicely done!

[Anonymous]

All you can do is say that you're very happy and change the subject. My family is rural and are always asking how the shootings and air pollution are lately.

[Anonymous]

"Marge, I know you can't imagine yourself in a small Midwest town, but believe it of not, we're very happy here."

[Anonymous]

They are snobs and will soon be jealous of the things you can afford with your small town life. I grew up in a Midwestern college town and I don’t think there is a better combination of low cost of living + hip, mid-priced stores and restaurants + cultural opportunities (independent films, speakers, concerts, awesome camps for kids) + local schools with educated, involved parents.

[Anonymous]

We are in the opposite situation. We get asked if we’re being sarcastic when we say we enjoy our life in DC. It doesn’t bother me. I grew up in the country and love many things about it but prefer the city. I understand why people like living in the country and in the city. If someone else cannot comprehend liking something different than what they chose, that’s a reflection on them and I don’t take it personally. Just be happy with your own decisions and deflect and ignore the rude commentary.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them, “We’re actually surviving and thriving! We honestly should have done this years ago.”

[Anonymous]

"Marge, a whole lot better than your miserable existence in sh**hole DC"

[Anonymous]

Tell 'em you've just moved into a trailer park and you bought two pitts that you keep tied up in the yard so no one will steal your meth.

[Anonymous]

"I find it is such a limited view to think that smaller towns don't have appeal. The more I've traveled and experience more in life, the more I know that there are opportunities and special things anywhere I go. I hope you can visit soon so your worldview won't be so narrow."

[Anonymous]

I asked my mom if she’d like to pay a mortgage on a DC house for me. She doesn’t give me a hard time anymore.

Signed, DC native happily living in Morgantown, WV

[Anonymous]

“The best part is being away from snobby jerks who think they’re better than other people.”

[Anonymous]

Just love your life well.

[Anonymous]

Your family sound super boring and set in their ways.

[Anonymous]

OP you are living my dream. I wish I had the guts to move back to the midwestern college town where I grew up. Will you tell us more about it? What do you like about living there?

I'm the reverse of you - my family won't come visit me in the city. In-laws recently stopped for a visit on their way to a wedding in Manassas and FIL was honestly panicking that his car would get broken into if we left the house for a walk.