Refusing to Admit Known Affair

[Anonymous]

Why do you care OP? Just get divorced already. What are getting out of this dance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the rational behind that?

Imagine having ironclad indisputable proof that your spouse slept with another person. Multiple things confirm it. You share this with them an they swear on the life that it's all wrong. That you are mistaken, that they did not cheat.

What reason is there to deny the truth?

It's gaslighting, OP, and in my opinion it's abusive. The idea is to make the person doubt their own mind. You don't know what you think you know, you aren't seeing what you think you see.

Rather than face the consequences of their own actions the person plays mind games. Cruel. The way to combat gaslighting is to stick to the factual evidence and refuse to let go.

Gaslighting should not be confused with caring. If the person cared they would take responsibility for their actions, show true remorse and offer to seek treatment (both individual and couple's counseling). Gaslighting is more of a "get out of jail free" card and the behavior often resumes after the focus is off of the person.

So sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, is it your spouse who’s doing this? If so, this thread is exactly why. Instead of holding on to what you know to be true and acting on it (or not) accordingly, you have accepted their seed of doubt and are now here looking for an alternative scenario where your spouse doesn’t have to be held accountable for their behavior.

[Anonymous]

What is the proof, OP?

[Anonymous]

I love threads like this. DCUM women are soooo afraid of their husbands cheating. I wonder why that is? I have my theories . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love threads like this. DCUM women are soooo afraid of their husbands cheating. I wonder why that is? I have my theories . . .

I don't think it's difficult to understand. Betrayal is incredibly painful. The possibility of your life and your children's lives being uprooted, changed drastically and permanently is frightening for many of us.

[Anonymous]

Not to mention all the diseases out there.

OP file divorce and after he gets the papers and court date tell him you don't know what he is talking about, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love threads like this. DCUM women are soooo afraid of their husbands cheating. I wonder why that is? I have my theories . . .

I don't think it's difficult to understand. Betrayal is incredibly painful. The possibility of your life and your children's lives being uprooted, changed drastically and permanently is frightening for many of us.

True. Another answer is all the comments on here that say that pretty much all men cheat, comments that justify cheating, comments that say you should in no way admit to an affair, etc. Plus comments directed toward people like me, who say they are convinced that their spouses have never cheated on them and aren’t afraid that they will, that say that our head is in the sand and because we are pretty sure our spouses will cheat on us means that they definitely will and are probably doing it as we speak. I am still not afraid but when there are so many comments like that, it’s totally understandable why somebody would be nervous about the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love threads like this. DCUM women are soooo afraid of their husbands cheating. I wonder why that is? I have my theories . . .

Where the hell are you finding a large group of women who aren’t afraid of being cheated on?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the rational behind that?

Imagine having ironclad indisputable proof that your spouse slept with another person. Multiple things confirm it. You share this with them an they swear on the life that it's all wrong. That you are mistaken, that they did not cheat.

What reason is there to deny the truth?

What is the evidence?

Is this kind of like there was indisputable proof that Saddam has weapons of mass destruction? Or evidence that Covid kills yet people still do not get vaccinated? There is evidence for both of these scenarios but the decisions (attack or not attack Iraq, get the vaccine or don't get the vaccine) from the evidence are both supported.

Have you considered for a moment that your DH may be telling the truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the evidence, OP?

A former neighbor claimed she heard loud sex noises from our apt. I was home alone. Not pleasuring myself. Not watching anything with sex noises. But she was positive.

Probably the US Open.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love threads like this. DCUM women are soooo afraid of their husbands cheating. I wonder why that is? I have my theories . . .

Says the cheater.

[Anonymous]

Because they are trash people that can never take personal responsibility for their actions. Perhaps they were never held accountable as children. They lie lie and lie. They are inherently dishonest. Admitting the truth admits they did something awful which isn’t the persona they project to the world. They are emotionally stunted individuals. Even my tween/teen can admit when they are wrong. We told them lying about something will cause them to get in even more trouble than if they are honest in the beginning, whether it caught cheating in school or lying to us, etc. We teach you take accountability, make amends and apologize.

Sh@t people do this. Cowards. They can’t face consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love threads like this. DCUM women are soooo afraid of their husbands cheating. I wonder why that is? I have my theories . . .

Says the cheater.

In this scenario, what OP describes is the CHEATER as being afraid to admit to their spouses that they are a cheater.

To do that means they might have to get a job, face public scrutiny, have ppl know they are a liar, get a divorce when they will have to change their lifestyle.

F@&”ing deceitful COWARDS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love threads like this. DCUM women are soooo afraid of their husbands cheating. I wonder why that is? I have my theories . . .

I don't think it's difficult to understand. Betrayal is incredibly painful. The possibility of your life and your children's lives being uprooted, changed drastically and permanently is frightening for many of us.

True. Another answer is all the comments on here that say that pretty much all men cheat, comments that justify cheating, comments that say you should in no way admit to an affair, etc. Plus comments directed toward people like me, who say they are convinced that their spouses have never cheated on them and aren’t afraid that they will, that say that our head is in the sand and because we are pretty sure our spouses will cheat on us means that they definitely will and are probably doing it as we speak. I am still not afraid but when there are so many comments like that, it’s totally understandable why somebody would be nervous about the whole thing.

Never suspected, never ever would have thought they would ever do it. No reason or sign to believe so.

But at least when confronted with something that came to light sang like a bird and confessed everything.