Reply to Refusing to Admit Known Affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]What is the rational behind that?[/b]

Imagine having ironclad indisputable proof that your spouse slept with another person. Multiple things confirm it. You share this with them an they swear on the life that it's all wrong. That you are mistaken, that they did not cheat.

[b]What reason is there to deny the truth?[/b][/quote]

It's gaslighting, OP, and in my opinion it's abusive.  The idea is to make the person doubt their own mind.  You don't know what you think you know, you aren't seeing what you think you see.

Rather than face the consequences of their own actions the person plays mind games.  Cruel.  The way to combat gaslighting is to stick to the factual evidence and refuse to let go.

Gaslighting should not be confused with caring.  If the person cared they would take responsibility for their actions, show true remorse and offer to seek treatment (both individual and couple's counseling).  Gaslighting is more of a "get out of jail free" card and the behavior often resumes after the focus is off of the person.

So sorry, OP.  [/quote]

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