Nanny during maternity leave

[Anonymous]

Another vote for keeping the nanny! Newborns are pretty all-consuming and managing an infant and a toddler would be rough on everyone. The only way I'd let the nanny go was if I was planning to transition to being a SAHM (and even then, I might wait until the new baby was a couple months old at least). Aside from all the benefits others have mentioned, I can't imagine looking for a new nanny during your maternity leave would be fun either.

[Anonymous]

I’m on mat leave right now and you DEFINITELY want to keep your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Keep the nanny! I’m not sure how I would have survived maternity leave when my second child was born without her there. The first month, she focused mostly on my older child so I could take care of the baby and rest when the baby slept. The second month, she started helping with the baby so I could spend more time with my older child. During the 3rd month, the nanny slowly started taking care of both kids. This gave me time to exercise and have some personal time but allowed the nanny to figure out the complexities of taking care of 2 kids at the same time. That is a difficult transition and I am so glad we had spent the time to figure it all out before I went back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter will have just turned two when baby brother is born. We have had our nanny come for 7 hrs/day M-F to take care of our daughter during the past year while me and my husband wfh.

I will have four months of maternity leave and am unsure of whether to keep our nanny during that time. Curious to hear others’ experiences. Did your nanny continue to care only for your older child or also help with the newborn? Did you expand responsibilities (e.g., helping to prepare dinner so you would have more time to spend with your children)? I would like to be able to spend some 1:1 time with my daughter which would seem tough if I am also juggling the new baby without additional help. Any insights appreciated.

God, no, nanny did not take on more responsibilities while I spent time with the children as that “special time” with my newborn and toddler together lasted about one minute before someone was crying, had to go potty, cranky and inconsolable due to reflux or gas, or screaming for me to “put the baby away!”

You’re living in a fantasy world, OP. Hang on to your nanny and be grateful you have her and she’s willing to take on two kids.

Seriously, as others have said, the best thing for your toddler in the first mo th isn’t to keep her routine exactly the same. Second month, start having alone time with just her while nanny cares for the baby. Third month, let nanny take over more double childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your toddler is losing half (at least) of his parents attention and his nanny at the same time?! That is cruel, OP. And then you’re going to get him a new nanny in four months?!

Think this through from your child’s perspective.

This! Even if you have visions of being super mommy, consider your poor toddlers feelings. A new baby is hard enough for toddlers.

[Anonymous]

This is a no brainer. Nanny can handle both children while you take a break or catch up on sleep. Nanny or you can give 2yo one-on-one attention while the other handles baby. Or if both kids are occupied with you or napping, nanny can do kids laundry or wash bottles. Absolutely worth it.

[Anonymous]

I hated having the nanny when my second was born. The 2 year old always just wanted me and it was torture to listen to her fussing that she didn’t want to go anywhere with the nanny. If you’ve been WF home all this time, though, I would guess your daughter is used to that and it will be smooth. I fired the nanny when I had my third (stayed home 9 months) and it was the best ever to just have all three kids and not have to coordinate with another adult. I had her stay two weeks after the birth to make sure I was up and around since I was having a c-section.
But I think it was hard for my oldest to have me home but a different adult there, since previously I had worked downtown and was always totally accessible to her when I was at home. This is one way where the pandemic has probably made this easier for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids and I'm pregnant with my third. I'm definitely keeping my nanny during maternity leave. Her job duties room remain the same: pick up the kids from school, watch them during the afternoon, make them dinner, clean up their dinner, and do their laundry and keep their room tidy. I don't want to do all of that while toting around a new baby, not to mention that it's sounds borderline impossible to safely oversee two little kids and a baby at the park (e.g.) unless you just ditch the baby in a stroller under a tree and chase the kids around.

I'm a mom that had 4 kids close in age (about 2 years apart) and my husband was active duty military and deployed for 6+ month within weeks of me having baby #2 and baby #3 (so I had a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 3 week old when my husband deployed for six months.)
To go to a park in this situation, first you pick a park that is completely fenced in--for me, that meant driving 20 minutes. You go early when there are fewer people there (easier to see your kids, and also less chance of someone accidentally leaving a gate open.) You wear the baby in a sling or front carrier, don't ditch the baby under a tree! And just constantly pay keep your eyes on your other two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to keep her after mat leave ends, you should keep her during. I personally chose to give our nanny a bump in pay when our second was born, and she helped a lot with both children during mat leave. We basically tagged team, which allowed me to have one on one time with each of them. I have other friends who chose to have the nanny focus solely on the older child and take care of the newborn themselves -- in which case they bumped the nanny's pay at the end of mat leave when she was expected to care for both.

This is exactly what we did. Bumped pay. Tag teamed when necessary but the nanny mainly focused on the older child to ensure continued routine and structure.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can expand the needs of the nanny however with each additional task, you need to pay her for it.

since you have a newborn and a toddler, don't give the nanny too many tasks so that her main focus can be on your toddler as there will be an transition phase your toddler will be going through from only sibling to now having a new baby that is taking up mommy and daddy's time.

still make sure to give older child quality time from mom each day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you have no idea how hard it isn’t to have a newborn and a two year old!!!

First, for your older child’s sake, nanny stays and child’s routine in basically the same. You don’t want any more upheaval in your older child’s life - a new baby is enough.

Second, you’re going to be sleep deprived and exhausted. How much fun are you anticipating being for your older child. Two is really young to expect them to understand why mommy is different.

Third, you may have a high-needs baby. Where does that leave your older child?

YOu would be absolutely stupid to let nanny go only to hire a new nanny causing more

This is a bit harsh but totally agree. Having consistency and not you obsessed wih Baby in 2-yearold's eyes will be ENOURMOUS.

[Anonymous]

Keep the Nanny if you want to jerk her once you’re back at work. If you are asking her to do newborn tasks you also need to pay more. It’s rurally reasonable to have one on one time with older child and have nanny be in charge of baby even if it’s only for an hour. Just don’t throw it at the nanny last minute assuming she plans activities and outings with the 2yo.