Nanny during maternity leave
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Anonymous
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Our daughter will have just turned two when baby brother is born. We have had our nanny come for 7 hrs/day M-F to take care of our daughter during the past year while me and my husband wfh.
I will have four months of maternity leave and am unsure of whether to keep our nanny during that time. Curious to hear others’ experiences. Did your nanny continue to care only for your older child or also help with the newborn? Did you expand responsibilities (e.g., helping to prepare dinner so you would have more time to spend with your children)? I would like to be able to spend some 1:1 time with my daughter which would seem tough if I am also juggling the new baby without additional help. Any insights appreciated. |
Anonymous
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Yes, keep the nanny and have her care for your older child while you are on leave.
If you expand her duties you need to expand her pay accordingly. Personally we just did the same schedule as before, older child only, no housekeeping. Then when my leave was up (I took a long leave) we gave a big raise and did both kids. |
Anonymous
| I have two kids and I'm pregnant with my third. I'm definitely keeping my nanny during maternity leave. Her job duties room remain the same: pick up the kids from school, watch them during the afternoon, make them dinner, clean up their dinner, and do their laundry and keep their room tidy. I don't want to do all of that while toting around a new baby, not to mention that it's sounds borderline impossible to safely oversee two little kids and a baby at the park (e.g.) unless you just ditch the baby in a stroller under a tree and chase the kids around. |
Anonymous
| Will it be hard for the 2 year old to have you home? If the nanny and the 2 year old will be out of the house a lot, then go for it. |
Anonymous
| Keep your nanny. It’s important not to change the 2 yo routine dramatically in addition to the new baby. It will really help the older kid feel stable and secure if their daily routine is what it always was. |
Anonymous
| If you want to keep her after mat leave ends, you should keep her during. I personally chose to give our nanny a bump in pay when our second was born, and she helped a lot with both children during mat leave. We basically tagged team, which allowed me to have one on one time with each of them. I have other friends who chose to have the nanny focus solely on the older child and take care of the newborn themselves -- in which case they bumped the nanny's pay at the end of mat leave when she was expected to care for both. |
Anonymous
| If you let her go for 4 months, you will need to find a new nanny later. You can't expect her to just wait for you. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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OMG, you have no idea how hard it isn’t to have a newborn and a two year old!!!
First, for your older child’s sake, nanny stays and child’s routine in basically the same. You don’t want any more upheaval in your older child’s life - a new baby is enough. Second, you’re going to be sleep deprived and exhausted. How much fun are you anticipating being for your older child. Two is really young to expect them to understand why mommy is different. Third, you may have a high-needs baby. Where does that leave your older child? YOu would be absolutely stupid to let nanny go only to hire a new nanny causing more |
Anonymous
| We kept the nanny in place to create continuity for the older child. We started paying the nanny the increase for two children as soon as the second was born, and we asked the nanny to also do the newborn's laundry, and set up for bath (I gave the baths, but nanny started the water, got the towel out, got the pjs out, etc.). |
Anonymous
+1000000 I have a relatively easy 5 week old and a nearly 2 year old. We have been hosting a nanny share for the past year, and we’ve kept everything exactly the same for our toddler, the nanny, and the other child. I stay in the master bedroom with the door shut all day, or I leave the house (walks, etc), except when the kids are out at the park or napping. I literally do not understand how SATPs juggle 2 under 2 or 3 during the newborn stage. It seems impossible. Since it’s just your nanny, you may have some flexibility, especially once the baby gets into more of a routine, to swap baby for toddler at some point. But that may not be best for the toddler - it’s already a LOT of change. Put a pin on that until at least 4-6 weeks postpartum, see how things evolve. |
Anonymous
| I’ll be in the same boat in March with a baby who will be 20 mo so I’m def keeping the nanny while both DH and I are on leave I can’t imagine not having the extra help. |
Anonymous
| Keep her! I'm a SAHM and those first few months with a newborn and 2.5 yo were really hard for me. I would've loved an extra person around. |
Anonymous
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Another vote to keep the nanny. My kids are exactly two years apart and that first six months was BRUTAL. I mean, everyone was miserable and clingy. My then two year old was bored and acting out like crazy and my newborn was not easy. I was so exhausted/sleep deprived from night feedings and never getting to test during the day that I was afraid to drive.
For God’s sake, keep your nanny! |
Anonymous
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So your toddler is losing half (at least) of his parents attention and his nanny at the same time?! That is cruel, OP. And then you’re going to get him a new nanny in four months?!
Think this through from your child’s perspective. |