Women: Why do you preface your queries with "Dumb Question"?

[Anonymous]

As a high school teacher, I am constantly struggling to correct girls from prefacing their questions, comments, etc., with "This might not make sense, but..." or "I'm not sure, but..." or "I don't know if this is right...." The girls regularly question--or think that it is more attractive for them to doubt--their own assertions, questions, and ideas. I was made aware of this habit in a course on pedagogy and gender, and it certainly seems to bear out in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a high school teacher, I am constantly struggling to correct girls from prefacing their questions, comments, etc., with "This might not make sense, but..." or "I'm not sure, but..." or "I don't know if this is right...." The girls regularly question--or think that it is more attractive for them to doubt--their own assertions, questions, and ideas. I was made aware of this habit in a course on pedagogy and gender, and it certainly seems to bear out in the classroom.

I think your question comes under "dumb question."

[Anonymous]

The girls learn this shit at home.

[Anonymous]

I never do it in real life, and 99% of the time, I don't do it here. When I do post it, I do so because I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who doesn't know the answer. And then only because people on here can be brutal.

[Anonymous]

On here? To stop from having 20 replies that say are to tell you that you are asking a dumb question. I like to beat them to the punch in hopes that someone will actually be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a high school teacher, I am constantly struggling to correct girls from prefacing their questions, comments, etc., with "This might not make sense, but..." or "I'm not sure, but..." or "I don't know if this is right...." The girls regularly question--or think that it is more attractive for them to doubt--their own assertions, questions, and ideas. I was made aware of this habit in a course on pedagogy and gender, and it certainly seems to bear out in the classroom.

I think your question comes under "dumb question."

I don't think this is a dumb question. This seems to be an educator who cares about his students. Maybe DCUM isn't the group of women to ask about this, but it seems he cares and wants to change this in his students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a high school teacher, I am constantly struggling to correct girls from prefacing their questions, comments, etc., with "This might not make sense, but..." or "I'm not sure, but..." or "I don't know if this is right...." The girls regularly question--or think that it is more attractive for them to doubt--their own assertions, questions, and ideas. I was made aware of this habit in a course on pedagogy and gender, and it certainly seems to bear out in the classroom.

I think your question comes under "dumb question."

I don't think this is a dumb question. This seems to be an educator who cares about his students. Maybe DCUM isn't the group of women to ask about this, but it seems he cares and wants to change this in his students.

Why do you assume it's a "he"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a high school teacher, I am constantly struggling to correct girls from prefacing their questions, comments, etc., with "This might not make sense, but..." or "I'm not sure, but..." or "I don't know if this is right...." The girls regularly question--or think that it is more attractive for them to doubt--their own assertions, questions, and ideas. I was made aware of this habit in a course on pedagogy and gender, and it certainly seems to bear out in the classroom.

I think your question comes under "dumb question."

I don't think this is a dumb question. This seems to be an educator who cares about his students. Maybe DCUM isn't the group of women to ask about this, but it seems he cares and wants to change this in his students.

Why do you assume it's a "he"?

The OP asked "Women: why do you?" and doesn't state they are a woman.

For this reason, I assume the OP is a he. Here's a question for you: why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Oh a similar dynamic happens in professional circles as well only people don't use the word "dumb." Actually what I think happens is that men (warning: generalizing here) are more likely to make a statement at a professional presentation on things they know little about without prefacing that they don't know much about the subject, e.g., "there's this pattern about A which contrasts with what you've said." Women are more likely to say, "Well, I don't know much about A but what would you say about this interesting pattern I think I've identified about A?"

I admit to having done this. I've gotten much better at making assertive statements about my abilities in letters applying for jobs and at job interviews but at professional presentations I'll still qualify what I say if I don't know much about a topic. I know that I shouldn't but hey maybe some of these guys who are showing off should admit they don't know diddley squat!

And btw, dh, who is on graduate faculty, says his women graduate students are stilling doing that even these days.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Lighten up Francis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. Lighten up Francis.

This was in reference to 14:42 not PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a high school teacher, I am constantly struggling to correct girls from prefacing their questions, comments, etc., with "This might not make sense, but..." or "I'm not sure, but..." or "I don't know if this is right...." The girls regularly question--or think that it is more attractive for them to doubt--their own assertions, questions, and ideas. I was made aware of this habit in a course on pedagogy and gender, and it certainly seems to bear out in the classroom.

I think your question comes under "dumb question."

The teacher's question is not dumb, you dumb shit.

I get annoyed by this when women are so apologetic when they ask questions in public forums, conferences, graduate school classrooms. I cringe when I hear them start their questions with, "I'm sorry but ... " I RARELY hear men say it. If my DD does this, I will correct her as often and frequently as possible.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's like the thread that begins something like "Please don't be offended, but..." then asks about HHI for private school. Just ask the freaking question straight out!

[Anonymous]

I did it once because I figured the answer, which I did not know, was really simple for someone who was familiar with the issue, and the preface would encourage people to click on my query -- they'd know it wouldn't take them a lot of time to answer. That's all.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a whole range of behavior/language use that women unfortunately have learned to use, and this is one of them. Look how many girls and young women make statements with the vocal inflection of a question just in their everyday speech. Also agree with a pp who said men act like they know a lot when they don't. As a former academic, I saw plenty of men I knew spout off like authorities in class when they hadn't even done the reading or just barely skimmed it. Unfortunately, the world tends to treat both sexes with the authority they display, deserved or not. You see a similar dynamic when new male hires routinely and assertively negotiate for higher starting salaries than their female peers.

Good for you, OP, for making note of this. Train those girls to be aware of these behaviors and act like the smart, confident people they are.