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15 week old's first day in home day care - Ugh!
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Anonymous
Today was the first day that my son was at in home day care.  The provider has three other children (ages 1-4) that she takes care of. I knew this going in and she reminded me today that she cannot always hold him and that he will probably cry, which he did most of the day, as well as very little napping. Will he get used to this environment and not cry as much or will he have a hard time forgetting that mommy probably held him when he wanted it? I am beside myself at the moment and could use some support! BTW - my husband thinks he just needs to cry it out.
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Anonymous
Hello, my friend. I saw your inquiry and I used to work in an infant room about 10 years ago. It's just my opinion, but I think that at 15 weeks the baby just probably won't understand the transition. I think with everything, they will eventually get used to the environment more. Try to give the caregiver time to at least bond with your child. There isn't a comfort level yet, but understand that there will be tears and with only one provider she probably is doing her best. The room that I was in there was 15 babies and probably 5 teachers in the room.. There was always someone crying, but babies are pretty resilient. Good luck and hang in there. I believe it will get easier. The great zucchini |
Anonymous
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It's tough to leave baby with someone who is not you! But, you know, at fifteen weeks, baby doesn't have object permanence; in other words, when something isn't in his field of vision, it doesn't exist. He'll always be delighted to see you, but he doesn't exactly miss you when you're gone.
He will adjust to the chaos, which sounds like a pretty normal level thereof. Imagine if he had been your fourth child! (I'm a fourth, by the way...) If you like and trust the caregiver, I agree with Zucchini, give baby a chance to get used to it. Most kids eventually do really well in that kind of situation. You think today was tough? Wait until the day you come to pick him up and he cries because he's having so much fun that he doesn't want to leave! Ouch! |
Anonymous
Please give us progress report and let us know if things get better. |
Anonymous
Thank you for the support! He slept well last night - let's hope it is an indicator of a better day today! I will keep everyone posted on our progress 
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Anonymous
| If he is used to being held a lot and is the only infant there, maybe you could offer to bring a sling/wrap/carrier so she could just carry him around with her while she's tending to the other kids instead of just leaving him to cry. It's really easy to go about your normal business with a baby that small wrapped to you! |
Anonymous
| It will get better - my DD started at 10 weeks and it was hard for all three parties. Your baby will get used to the new environment, schedule and provider, and the provider will get used to your infant and anticipate needs. Offering to provide a carrier or sling is an excellent idea! |
Anonymous
| The first week is always the worst! Give it a little time and you will all adjust. |
Anonymous
| Babies at that age quickly adjust to just about everything. It is not good to hold your baby ALL the time. It becomes a bad habit that is hard to break. |
Anonymous
I'm the one who suggested offering to bring a sling or wrap to your daycare provider. The idea that it's not good to hold your baby all the time is just not true. Sorry. It doesn't become a bad habit that is hard to break. I know this from first hand experience as well as lots of reading. Western cultures are pretty much the only ones who *don't* hold their babies most of the time and incidentally pretty much the only ones who experience colic. Holding your baby is a very, very good thing, for both of you. You cannot spoil a baby. |
Anonymous
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Oh, yes, I definitely second the idea of having a discussion with your provider about babywearing, and maybe providing a really nice sling or wrap carrier for her to use. A maya wrap ring sling would only run you about $45, or you could get a used baby bjorn pretty cheap. A 15 week old should definitely have the head control to make it comfortable and safe for everyone. Check out www.thebabywearer.com for lots of info on the benefits of babywearing. I'm sure your provider would appreciate having two hands free and no wailing baby! So everyone wins (her, you, the baby). I completely agree with PP that holding or wearing your baby a LOT will not spoil him or her or make him or her "difficult."
Hugs to you in this tough transitional time. |
Anonymous
| I have nothing against baby wearing, but must hi-jack the thread just to mention that Western cultures are not the only ones that don't do this. |
Anonymous
I agree - I have travelled through Europe and Latin and South America and don't recall seeing anyone wearing their babies. I personally think it is an American thing. |
Anonymous
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I wish my baby wanted to be held all the time! I rarely put her down in the first three months; either she was chilling/sleeping on my lap, attached to my boob, or in the baby carrier. My mom told me I needed to "teach her some independence", and made dire predictions about clinginess. Now, at 8 months, she wants to be out and about and exploring. She only willingly sits still on my lap when she's almost asleep. I realize that anecdotes don't multiply to become data, but in my experience, holding a baby all the time is all good.
In case I wasn't totally obvious, I think a sling or other carrier for your daycare provider is an inspired suggestion. It would reassure me immensely if I were in your shoes, and if she accepts, it would demonstrate to me that the sitter has the baby's comfort and best interests in mind. |
Anonymous
I think of babywearing as an African thing, predominantly. |