Positive twin post

[Anonymous]

When I was TTC, I remember seeing several negative posts about having twins, and now that I have year old twins, I wanted to write to other potential future moms of twins about how positive my experience has been, to balance some of the negativity.

Here are some of the positives about my experience:

- Overall I had a great pregnancy, with few problems besides back problems and some sugar (pre-diabetes) issues.
- I carried my twins almost to 40 weeks and had a vaginal birth. The birth was amazing, and the twins came right home with me.
- I'm still EBFing my twins and plan to for at least a couple more months.
- Twin breastfeeding: double the oxytocin, double the calories burnt, baby!
- My girl/girl twins are the most adorable, beautiful babies and you can't imagine how special it is to see them cuddling, and holding hands and looking into each other's eyes while nursing.
- Twins tend to have a much closer bond than siblings of different ages (though of course not always true).
- Instant family! I'm so happy about that.

There are lots of disadvantages too - the infancy period is hard as hell. But after the first year, I think that it's easier to have twins than to have siblings of different ages (esp to have two under two), because you're dealing with the same stages and issues, rather than having to play some games with a toddler and deal with toddler issues, and then separate challenges with an infant.

Anyway, everyone's experience is different, but mine has been amazing and I feel so lucky to have twins. Just wanted to send a positive message to those who might be scared of having twins. Best of luck to all.

[Anonymous]

I have b/g twins and I couldn't agree with you more, it's great.

[Anonymous]

I have b/g twins too, had a (basically) uneventful pregnancy--even at AMA, and went to term (37 weeks).

But I try not to 'push' the idea that twins are an ideal situation.

Certainly I don't want to scare those that might find themselves pregnant with multiples...but I certainly don't want to encourage the 'multiples seekers'.

And I wouldn't say that twins are a breeze...and at 18 months, wouldn't say that they are 'easier' in ANY way.

I love my babies...I couldn't see my life in any other way than the way it has become...

BUT...I still think, in general, that humans were basically meant to have children one at a time...and if given the singleton option...would think that it is the best route.

Not to rain on your positivity parade...but just my 2 pennies.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with the poster above. My 17 mos. old twins are great - can't imagine life without them, blah, blah... BUT while it has gotten easier is many respects (they sleep through the night) it has gotten harder in others (my twins get into everything, never sit still, "mess" with one another - take toys, etc. Getting them out the door with my preschool age child every day is a feat. It's exhausting.

Part of this might be because I had a singleton first and I never realized how easy it was to have a singleton. Two babies is so much harder and I'm seriously amazed at the number of randoms that stop me and comment about how easy I must have it because my twins surely play together. Seriously? But those are also the same people that ask me if my boy/girl twins are identical.

Also - not be Debbie Downer - but my twin pregnancy was much harder on my body. Very happy that I carried my twins to term and their combined weight was almost 14 lbs. so they were healthy, etc. But I'm dealing with residual issues like blood flow problems in my legs, etc. due to carrying so much weight.

Twins are great. I would still have put the same number of embryos back on our IVF cycle because we were sooo desperate to have children after going through a combined 9 IVF cycles. I'm very, very grateful and thankful that two of our IVF cycles actually worked - believe me. But realistically life still hasn't gotten any easier and my husband and I are thankful but extremely exhausted....all the time.

[Anonymous]

But to the PP - if you had a toddler and an infant right now, it's likely that you'd be saying the same thing- that you're exhausted.

I have 2 year old and a five-week old baby, and this is extremely difficult. There are challenges to this situation that you don't have with twins. I know the reverse is true, but I'm saying that there are some advantages to having twins.

[Anonymous]

pp here- what i meant to say in my last post was that the really tough part (2 kids two and under) is over quicker with twins. when you have a toddler and an infant, the tough years last longer. at least this is how i see it.

not trying to say that having twins isn't hard! just that it seems that the most difficult years are over faster

[Anonymous]

16:43 poster here again. I can see why it might seem like it's a perk to sorta get certain stages over with when you have tinws. But what I think is hard for people to realize is that while I have 2 kids born on the same birthday - that doesn't mean they're going through the same stages at the same time. They are two completely different children - with different medical needs, different weights, completely different personalities. If they were complete clones of one another in every single way - then maybe it would be easier to have twins.

For instance take sleep - one of my twins was sleeping through the night at 4 months. The other twin was sleeping through the night by about 8 months. You might think what's a 4 month difference - but when you are trying to get two babies who take different types of formula, different bottles with different types of nipples and different reflux meds to get on the same sleep schedule - an extra 4 months of one not going through the night feels like an eternity.

Or take teething....One of my twins has most of her one year molars so we went through a rough stage of her waking up at night cutting teeth, etc. The other twin still hasn't cut his molars so we're looking forward to go through that process with him at some point - who knows when, how often he will wake up or if he'll wake up, etc.

Or if you look at larger developmental skills. One of my twins was huge - the other much smaller. Because of the smaller one's position in me - she has all sorts of physical therapy issues. So I had one twin able to sit up earlier, crawl earlier, walk earlier - the other one was much further behind because she needed PT for the first year.

And the list continues - I have a friend with twins who is trying to go through potty training right now and it's a nightmare b/c one is totally into it - the other one is actually regressing because she is so upset about the idea of having to potty train. So she'll be enduring potty training for quite some time unfortunately.

As an aside - my older child is almost 4 1/2 and there are days I wish she was an infant. The constant questions and talking is enough to drive me batty. I've just come to realize that nothing really gets easier - it just gets different!

[Anonymous]

I've had twins and a singleton and having a singleton was light years easier than having twins. From pregnancy to school age (where we are now).

I wouldn't trade my twins for anything but it is relentless.

[Anonymous]

OP here - wouldn't argue with anyone that having twins is hard work.

My point is that, for those who want to have 2 or more kids, there are advantages to having twins, at least in my case. I'd much rather have twins than have an infant and older kids right now. For every disadvantage of twins, there's an advantage - and that was my message to those potential future twin moms.

So much of this also depends on temperament, of your kids and you. My sisters both had an extremely hard first year with their singletons, whereas my first year with the twins wasn't as hard as their year was, in large part b/c they had very difficult kids.

Anyway, I feel incredibly lucky to have twins, and while I know that for some this is a really difficult experience, for me it's been great.

[Anonymous]

Why is this in the TTC forum?

[Anonymous]

OP again. The reason I posted here is because, when I was TTC, I was scared about doing fertility treatments because of the possibility of multiples. I found that there was a lot of misinformation, or scare-mongering about having twins, and I wanted potential future twin moms to know that it could be a great experience.

Apologies if this seems out of place.

[Anonymous]

I'm the second poster to this thread and OP it's ok that you posted it here, I had my b/g twins as a result of IF treatment so it's ok for those in the TTC whether primary or secondary IF to see the pros and cons. I didn't have the benefit of IF support sites when I was ttc and I really wanted twins, but the pregnancy was difficult and they were born early but healthy. When we are faced with the decision of how many embryos to put transfer it's good to have a range of opinions. I'm happy with my decision but if I went back for another transfer it would be a SINGLE ET only.

[Anonymous]

I'm TTC and DH and I would prefer twins. We would love to have two children, but we're not quite sure if I can take that much time off (I'm going to be a SAHM until our child is in preschool) twice. I was a nanny for over 3 years, half of that in a share with two infants, so I know what I'm getting myself into I hope those who "want" multiples do so for the right reasons, and not because they think it's what's "in".

[Anonymous]

I want to thank the OP for posting this. I just found out this morning that I am expecting twins and all I ever hear on this board (which I have been checking religiously during my IVFs) are negative comments about twins. I know the risks and was surprised to feel happy about the news. Scared, of course, but happy and hoping everything works out since it's still early yet.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, PP, and thank you, OP, for helping some of us TTC get some positive info on things we may have no control over. After years TTC, I'd take twins in an exhausted heartbeat.