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Mean girl moms
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Anonymous
| I often run into a group of moms who are friends with each other and are just not nice to me. I see them a lot, some still have children at my child's school, others I just run into frequently. Here is an example: last summer I ran into this group at the pool, I was by myself, had hired a sitter for a break, they were without kids and sitting at a table, I went over to say hi, they said hi, but stopped there, no further inquiring, or s mall talk, no have a seat, or anything and one actual turned her back on me. It's a small example but when this kind of interaction is every time I see them it hurts. I am a nice, friendly mom and I have a lot of other friends, but these women still hurt my feelings. Advice on how to deal with? |
Anonymous
| They do it because you are probably nice and take their crap. Ignore them; they don't exist. Let them feel the uncomfortable unfriendliness you encounter and see how they like it. |
Anonymous
|
According to the example you just wrote, it seems as if you are oversensitive and are not signaling your intentions effectively.
These mothers may feel their group is complete, and therefore will not feel the need to gush all over you. They did not snub you - the one who turned her back may have been returning to her original position after greeting you. Or they simply have not understood your (perhaps) weak signals to join them. Did you say "hello, mind if I join you for a few minutes?" When breaking into a group that already knows each other, you sometimes have to be pushy. I am quite shy and used to have difficulty making friendly overtures. Just steel yourself for a few awkward moments, and be truly interested in other people's lives: ask questions, put them at their ease. |
Anonymous
Op here. I here ya, it's just my nature to kill em with kindness. But clearly that's not working. They make me feel like an awkward child again and it hurts. Thankfully, I matured into a woman I would want be friends with, but clearly there is lingering insecurity on my part. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you are much hotter than them. |
Anonymous
| They are so not worth your time. |
Anonymous
| Who cares about them? Just live your life! |
Anonymous
| You say you already have friends - so hang out with those friends. There's nothing wrong with an acknowledging "hello" nod when you see someone you know in public but don't want to sit down and have a long chat. Not everyone has to be friends. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't want to hang out with people like that. |
Anonymous
| You know they were the queen bees in school and it continues. We all know women like that. Hang with people that make you feel welcome and wanted. It's the same thing we teach our kids, right? They just haven't grown up. I think that makes them losers. |
Anonymous
| You have to find something in common. Like are you in the same PTA and do you volunteer with them. Are your kids in scouts together and do you volunteer. Do you go to school parties where you can see the parents and interact. I find that as far as neighborhood friends, that's that way to meet them and become part of their group. And, you have to accept that you aren't going to get into certain groups because you don't fit. For me, even though our kids go to the same school, I don't fit into the group that only has girls because our kids have nothing in common (and all of us are so busy with our kids that this seems to be the common ground) - my only girl is still in preschool. Of course, this may change once their kids hit middle school because there is a lot more that brings you together. |
Anonymous
|
13:28 is one of those moms you just described. high school nasty behavior. shame on 13:28.
OP - you don't need them, nor should you care. in life, a girl only needs one or two good girlfriends. I'm sure you already have that 
|
Anonymous
And I bet those nasty ladies don't have any really good friends. But they don't know it because they're too caught up in themselves. |
Anonymous
| OP, do you live in my neighborhood? I could have written your post. Many in my neighborhood think it has such a close-knit, small-town feel, and I guess I can't disagree. It feels small-town to me in a not-so-positive way. I've found friends in moms of kids at my neighborhood school - but they're from surrounding communities, not so much this immediate neighborhood. I've handled it by saying hi and being nice to the cliquey moms as much as I can, and accepting the awkwardness (that honestly feels to me like a snub) as a fact of life. |
Anonymous
Possibly or close by. Where do you live or initials of where? I have a feeling I might. |