scared of labor

[Anonymous]

I am really nervous about the pain of labor. I have taken lamaze classes, educated myself about what will happen physically, chosen health care providers I am very comfortable with, made all the necessary preparations for baby's arrival etc, but I can't shake this feeling of.... dread. And I am about 4 days overdue which makes things a little worse every day. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Labor is not very fun. I'll be straightforward...and this is coming from a new mom who went without drugs.

However, if you can get through it and keep focusing on the huge reward then you'll be so elated you'll forgot your struggles. Your hormones will send you on a roller coaster ride of emotions.

I too was scared like you. I had a supportive DH and really kept focusing on our baby (plus we didn't know if was a boy or girl so the anticipation was even greater).

...afterall, you'll forgot the throes of labor after a day or so - why else do women have more than one baby?

Good luck, you'll be fine, and before you know it, you'll be offering your suggestions and good advice for the next mom-to-be

[Anonymous]

Billions of women have done it and gone on to have more children!

There is pain relief available should you choose to use it. And epidurals really do work wonders

Your hormones will haze it all over, and within a few hours/days you will not remember most of labor.

In the end, you'll have a fabulous baby!! I think everyone worries, but it ends up being the absolute happiest most wonderful day of your life. Definitely something to look forward to rather than dread

Best of luck and congrats.

[Anonymous]

I am a total wimp, and I was so scared of labor.

I wanted to go without drugs if i could (not knowing what the pain would be like), but fully expected that with my low pain tolerance, I'd end up with drugs at some point.

I got an epidural at about 4 cm dilated... and I'm glad I did. I was worn out from the contractions (which just felt like really bad cramps, but not some new crazy pain). I was scared shitless of the epidural, but it really wasn't that bad. Much preferred to the strong cramps.

After that, I could feel a little (and I wasn't "comfortable" in the sense of sitting back on a beach chair with a drink in my hand), but I really wasn't in "pain".

So, my recommendation would be to just go with the epidural.

[Anonymous]

Just keep reminding yourself that there are billions of people in the world and every single one of them had a mother that gave birth. If that many women can do it, so can you. Also, stay positive. I knew that the moment I said "I can't" it would all be over. It really is only a days worth of pain with a great reward.

[Anonymous]

Someone else posted this concern recently. You might search for it as there were some very good words of encouragement. I suggest trying to channel your fear of pain into excitement! After all, you've been waiting for this day to come for nine months, and what a thrill it will be. You're about to meet your baby for the first time!!! I wish I could relive the experience, pain and all (and my DS is still only 3 months old - so I haven't forgotten what it's like) It's just that amazing.

Also, if you choose to have the epidural, you pretty much won't feel any pain, so there is always that option.

Either way, YOU CAN DO IT! Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

I took hypnobirthing, which is all about letting go of the fear of child-birth. It's all a very natural process, and your body will know what to do more than you think. People think I'm nuts when I say that most of the day (23 hours) that I spent in labor was mostly very peaceful and calm. The key for me was trying to do deep breathing and not tense up when a contraction hit. If you keep thinking that BILLIONS of women have given birth, survived, and thrived afterward, maybe that will help you! GOOD luck!

[Anonymous]

It's normal to be scared--but you can do it, OP!!! Go in prepared as you can, and be prepared to accommodate the circumstances if need be. Focus on the ultimate goal: a healthy mom and a healthy baby. If you think you'd like to breastfeed, do some reading and research about it in advance and talk to a lactation consultant, so the possible stress of that does not contribute to your concerns. Remain focused, and calm, and remember there are people there trained to help you. Rely on your DH, or birth partner, for support. Most of all remember: you will soon be meeting your beautiful baby! And it will be the most joyful thing. You are a woman, and women are tough!

Be positive and prepared and believe in yourself!

[Anonymous]

I think that, like many things in life, the anticipation of the event can be worse than the actual event. Once labor begins, you'll take it moment by moment and it'll seem perfectly manageable to you. You'll have your partner and your doctor to help you make the right decisions in the right moments.

This may seem like falst hope to give, but remember that pain is different for everyone. I've heard first-hand stories of even natural labors that were not that bad. Maybe you'll be lucky in this respect. I labored unassisted for hours while delivering my first baby, and the pain never became unmanageable. I eventually opted for the epidural out of exhaustion.

You'll do great!!

[Anonymous]

I was so much more afraid of having a baby than physically "having" the baby, if that makes sense....at least there are drugs for the latter.

[Anonymous]

I definitely agree that anticipation can be worse than actuality. We hear so many stories all our lives about how awful it is, and Hollywood portrays it as always involving screaming, cursing, and heavy breathing. I had a 22 hour unmedicated labor and birth (although I was half-sleeping for the first five hours, so you could count it as 17), and other than transition and pushing, which I found rather unpleasant (but that was only 2 hours of the whole), I would say it wasn't that bad. Like bad cramps, but with breaks, and totally doable. True, right after the birth I told my husband we were only having one child, but I knew even then I didn't mean it. The worst part of labor for me was that I couldn't sleep, and I was tired and wanted to. Not to say that it wasn't challenging or that I didn't make any noise (esp. during pushing, I was so loud they could hear me in the next county), but it was doable.

Anyway, the point is, you can do it! I consider myself a huge wimp about pain and was not sure that I could do it without medication. You didn't say that you were set on going natural, so, from my perspective, if you have the epidural as an option, you're home free. My final take is that it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was so much more afraid of having a baby than physically "having" the baby, if that makes sense....at least there are drugs for the latter.

This quote wins the day for me. Brilliant!

[Anonymous]

Fear makes a big difference in the level of pain and the entire experience. The really great thing about labor for me was that I was high as a kite...without drugs. Hours passed in minutes, I floated off into a dream state just by closing my eyes and it only seemed unmanageable every once in a while and that feeling passed as quickly as it came. Hooray for hormones!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I was also scared of labor but by the time the pain hits, your body goes into a fight or flight phase and your adrenaline takes over. I strongly recommend the epidural if you have a low tolerance for pain, as I do as well. I had an extremely long and hard labor and could not imagine it without it. The one thing I kept telling myself is that it is one day of my life and I can do anything for one day........

You will do great!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also scared of labor but by the time the pain hits, your body goes into a fight or flight phase and your adrenaline takes over. I strongly recommend the epidural if you have a low tolerance for pain, as I do as well. I had an extremely long and hard labor and could not imagine it without it. The one thing I kept telling myself is that it is one day of my life and I can do anything for one day........

You will do great!!!!

This is a great example of pain and fear taking over - and a body succumbing to the fight or flight reaction. If you can manage your fear and anxiety, then any pain or discomfort will be minimized. I did hypnobirthing for my third, and in our classes we learned about our body's reactions to various stressors, the hormones released, and how that effects our experience. You can control your anxiety and fear through breathing, visualizations, not panicking. I delivered a 10.5 lb baby in 6 hours without medication, or pain. The only discomfort I experienced was during transition, when I lost focus and panicked a bit. Luckily, my DH was able to help me re-focus, and the fear and pain subsided. HUGE mind-body connection, use it to your advantage!