Has your life turned out the way you thought it would? Are you happy?

[Anonymous]

My life has not really turned out the way I pictured it...one child (thought I would have a bunch)...husband I adore but not a real passionate love as I always pictured. But I think I'm basically happy. I think this is where I'm meant to be. I get a sense of being at home in my life.

In another thread a poster said that nobody's life turns out how they planned. True?

[Anonymous]

Mine didn't turn out the way I had planned, but I'm generally happy. That's more than I can say for most of my family, so I think I did pretty well, all things considered.

[Anonymous]

I don't know yet. I really didn't have a "plan". I definitely don't have that passionate love I imagined. But I tell myself this is what being a grown-up is all about, and now it is about my kids. Sometimes I am sad, imagining what my life would have been like had I chosen path A or path B. The grass is always greener. I think I am very fortunate though, we make a comfortable (not wealthy) living and we don't have any health issues. So yes, I am overall happy. Just not always. Isn't that with everyone, though?

[Anonymous]

I keep playing the lotto...

[Anonymous]

Too early for me to tell if it's turned out the way I thought it would. So far, it isn't how I imagined it would be. That's not a bad thing, though. I am happy.

[Anonymous]

My life is so vastly different from what I would have thought at say 16 or 18 that I can't even fathom it sometimes. I am thrilled and happier than I think I deserve most of the time, but I think I could have been happy with that "other" life as well. And as happy as I am with my current life, I do wonder sometimes about the road not taken - I think that is pretty normal.

[Anonymous]

It's better than I thought it would be, but I do think about paths not taken. There are really only a couple of decision points where the alternative would have truly changed the course of my life, and I sometimes wonder about those other lives.

I also don't have the passion I was looking for (giving that up was one of the choices I made), but I have a deep abiding love with my best friend that makes my home life better than I ever thought it would be. I have a son, and I never thought I'd have children (by choice), and he's only a baby but I can already see that it's going to be great. I'm so glad that I chose stability over passion (seriously), because I really never could have imagined how good it feels to have a settled home and relationship.

[Anonymous]

Mine is completly different and tends to veer in different directions. We didn't think we wanted children and now have a 4-year old. I never thought I'd be willing to sacrafice a career..and sleep...and sanity for a four-year old. But I now wonder how my life could be complete without him. But the combination of me going part-time and my husband's career taking a dip has veered us away from the dream of a finanically comfortable life. I never thought I'd be this old and worrying about paying bills.

I wonder from time to time how different my life could be - had I fell in love with someone else (maybe someone who helped out more or could fix a toilet) or if we had decided to have many kids or if I had climbed the career ladder.

But the one thing I am 100 percent certain of is my decision to choose time with my child over money. I watch careers crash all the time. No one can take away the time I had (and have) with my child.

[Anonymous]

Ask me in about 10 years. My adult life so far has not gone anything like I expected and I have a lot of bitterness about it. I feel like I didn't get to choose anything for myself, other than who to marry and when to have my child. Everything else feels like a bunch of crappy circumstances that I had little to no control over. I try not to be bitter, but it is frustrating when you had pretty high aspirations and got nowehere near where you thought you would. However, all that said, I AM happy that we have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and a little bit of money in the bank, not to mention all being relatively healthy. That is a lot better than most people these days. We still worry about money and have to watch our budget, but we don't really want for anything.

[Anonymous]

Everything is going about how I'd planned with the honking, glaring exception that I'd never, ever, ever thought I would be a SAHM for years on end.

This is the one thing that I'm unhappy about, need to change that if it's still possible.

[Anonymous]

You can't look back because you can't change anything, just keep looking forward.

'Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
the saddest are these, 'it might have been.'"

Maud Muller

by John Greenleaf Whittier

[Anonymous]

Not where I thought I would be...I agree with a previous poster that I never thought I would be in my 40's and so concerned with bills/the future. I'm where I am by some of my own choices and some heartbreaking circumstances. There are times my heart hurts thinking about what "could have been" (not the materialistic things...but size of family, security, being able to stay home with DC longer than I was able to). However, in those moments, I try my very best to focus on my wonderful child who my husband and I adore.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Freakishly so...better than I imagined.

[Anonymous]

My life in broad outline is exactly the way I'd imagined it would be, in terms of family and job, and even approximately where we live (I'm a NoVA native and always wanted to stay in this area).

The biggest difference is that I thought I'd have a lot of close friends, just like I did in my 20s and 30s. Through a variety of circumstances, I have only one close friend, and I think that's a huge shame. I didn't count on having such a humdrum marriage either, but I guess no one does. The one positive I did not anticipate was having more financial security at this age than I expected.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Generally, I guess I'm happy. I love my DC and DH and we are financially comfortable. Not wealthy, but not unemployed.

I have one child that has SN. I really wanted at least 2 children. I just turned 40 and time isn't exactly on my side for postponing all these decisions. Money definitely plays a role in making this decision and I hate it. Additionally, I took a downgrade in career to have flexibility to help with DC.

This is all compounded with health problems in immediate and extended family. And we have little to no help and no real support system.