Bathroom Line Etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is those of us in our 40's and 50's are supporting the grown woman because we understand what she was going through. Port a potties suck and OP knows it. The issue was more about being gracious enough to let 1 person go ahead when you will takes 3 times as long with 3 people, especially with one in a diaper.

The ones supporting the OP's decision are probably younger with little kids.

You waited your turn and went in OP. But you will get your due one day OP. Karma is a b****.

No, I support OP and I'm the "head scratching" PP. I am in my mid-50s, have IBS (colitis) and still think the woman was entitled. She's a grown person, she could use her words. When you are managing a chronic condition, you need to be hyper-aware of your needs, and speak up. If it were really an emergency, I guarantee you this woman would have been running toward the port a potty with her toilet kit firmly in hand.

How can someone have the wherewithal to have a toilet kit if it’s an emergency?

If you have a condition like colitis or Crohn's you always have your toilet kit handy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is those of us in our 40's and 50's are supporting the grown woman because we understand what she was going through. Port a potties suck and OP knows it. The issue was more about being gracious enough to let 1 person go ahead when you will takes 3 times as long with 3 people, especially with one in a diaper.

The ones supporting the OP's decision are probably younger with little kids.

You waited your turn and went in OP. But you will get your due one day OP. Karma is a b****.

No, I support OP and I'm the "head scratching" PP. I am in my mid-50s, have IBS (colitis) and still think the woman was entitled. She's a grown person, she could use her words. When you are managing a chronic condition, you need to be hyper-aware of your needs, and speak up. If it were really an emergency, I guarantee you this woman would have been running toward the port a potty with her toilet kit firmly in hand.

How can someone have the wherewithal to have a toilet kit if it’s an emergency?

If you have a condition like colitis or Crohn's you always have your toilet kit handy.

+1

[Anonymous]

I try to use an altered version of the golden rule in cases like these: does this person seem like the type who would treat me the way she’s asking me to treat her if the roles were somehow switched up? If not, she’s a user and doesn’t deserve special treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team mom + kids here. If it were really an emergency, they could have used the port-a-potties, and if this is a situation that happens frequently with her, she can pick up some more diapers. I'm not risking having an accident because she didn't plan ahead or her brats are too prissy to use a perfectly fine port-a-potty.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team mom + kids here. If it were really an emergency, they could have used the port-a-potties, and if this is a situation that happens frequently with her, she can pick up some more diapers. I'm not risking having an accident because she didn't plan ahead or her brats are too prissy to use a perfectly fine port-a-potty.

You keep posting the same response over and over in different ways, pretending to be different people. No one agrees with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP here. If it were really an emergency, she could have used the port-a-potties, and if this is a situation that happens frequently with her, she can pick up some depends. I'm not risking my kid having an accident because didn't plan ahead or is too prissy to use a perfectly fine port-a-potty.

It’s good to know that so many of us on this thread were raised better than you were.

What a selfish a**.

When all else fails, be gracious. It’s not a contest.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you will love your 50s

You, too, will have a younger woman dismiss your urgent need to go. Why would a grown, older woman need to use the restroom so badly? She is just trying to cut in line! She can wait like the rest of us!

Karma, baby. You will get your turn.

Amen! Oh, but don’t worry, you can just walk over to the port a potty.

I'm in my 50s. I don't love port-a-potties, but I can use them. And I know the ick of port-a-potties for me is outweighed by the hassle of wrangling two little kids, one still potty-training. (I'm not so old that I don't remember how it was when my kids were little)

That’s great, but this isn’t about YOU.

It’s about women in their 50s. I’m in my 50s. Is it not about me because I think OP’s choice was fine?

You said you don’t love port a potties, but can use them. And the ick factor is outweighed by the hassle of wrangling two kids. Well for the other woman, this wa snot the case obviously. For whatever reason she didn’t tell want to use the port a potty. Just because YOU can do it doesn’t mean she could. Get it? SMH. It’s not about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team mom + kids here. If it were really an emergency, they could have used the port-a-potties, and if this is a situation that happens frequently with her, she can pick up some more diapers. I'm not risking having an accident because she didn't plan ahead or her brats are too prissy to use a perfectly fine port-a-potty.

You keep posting the same response over and over in different ways, pretending to be different people. No one agrees with you.

DP: You must be God, given that level of omniscience.

If so, I'm sure you can hold your peepee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were not wrong in any way to do what you did but you know that you could have been gracious and let the grandma go ahead of you. Etiquette is looking past your own interests to the interest of others. You followed the rules (you were in line first...) but you were not gracious. Be gracious next time and see what happens with your kids (maybe they hold their pee, maybe they don't but either way, they will learn a valuable lesson).

Grandma??!

Grandma's the best person on this thread.

The point is that the PP is automatically assuming that a woman in her 50s is the grandma.

Bad, offensive assumption!

I wrote the bolded posting and came back to see if OP responded. For what it's worth, I'm a dad of two kids under 12 and I try to teach my kids about etiquette and kindness. I understand OP's response and again, I don't think she did anything wrong technically but if you look inside of her heart, there is a conflicted feeling. She desires validation, albeit from strangers, but validation nonetheless. I think that comes from a place where she knows she could have been gracious but wants additional justification to tell her she was ok in doing what she did. It was ok but I think she knows she could have done better.

OP, take a minute, reflect on this event, close the folder on this and go out and intentionally be gracious. Let someone cut in front of you at the grocery store or Costco, in traffic or perform an intentional random act of kindness. Watch the other person's reaction and see how it makes you feel (I'm going to guess that there won't be conflict in your heart). From my own anecdotal experience, 7 out of 10 people will be really appreciative. It will make your day and if your kids are with you, they will see (and learn) what kindness and graciousness does in this world because they saw you were the cause of it.

If you are ever behind me in the bathroom line with 2 kids who have to go, you won't need to ask me. I will offer you up my place in line. And that will make a difference in your day.

Peace be with you OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were not wrong in any way to do what you did but you know that you could have been gracious and let the grandma go ahead of you. Etiquette is looking past your own interests to the interest of others. You followed the rules (you were in line first...) but you were not gracious. Be gracious next time and see what happens with your kids (maybe they hold their pee, maybe they don't but either way, they will learn a valuable lesson).

Grandma??!

Grandma's the best person on this thread.

The point is that the PP is automatically assuming that a woman in her 50s is the grandma.

Bad, offensive assumption!

I wrote the bolded posting and came back to see if OP responded. For what it's worth, I'm a dad of two kids under 12 and I try to teach my kids about etiquette and kindness. I understand OP's response and again, I don't think she did anything wrong technically but if you look inside of her heart, there is a conflicted feeling. She desires validation, albeit from strangers, but validation nonetheless. I think that comes from a place where she knows she could have been gracious but wants additional justification to tell her she was ok in doing what she did. It was ok but I think she knows she could have done better.

OP, take a minute, reflect on this event, close the folder on this and go out and intentionally be gracious. Let someone cut in front of you at the grocery store or Costco, in traffic or perform an intentional random act of kindness. Watch the other person's reaction and see how it makes you feel (I'm going to guess that there won't be conflict in your heart). From my own anecdotal experience, 7 out of 10 people will be really appreciative. It will make your day and if your kids are with you, they will see (and learn) what kindness and graciousness does in this world because they saw you were the cause of it.

If you are ever behind me in the bathroom line with 2 kids who have to go, you won't need to ask me. I will offer you up my place in line. And that will make a difference in your day.

Peace be with you OP!

This exactly!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were not wrong in any way to do what you did but you know that you could have been gracious and let the grandma go ahead of you. Etiquette is looking past your own interests to the interest of others. You followed the rules (you were in line first...) but you were not gracious. Be gracious next time and see what happens with your kids (maybe they hold their pee, maybe they don't but either way, they will learn a valuable lesson).

Grandma??!

Grandma's the best person on this thread.

The point is that the PP is automatically assuming that a woman in her 50s is the grandma.

Bad, offensive assumption!

I wrote the bolded posting and came back to see if OP responded. For what it's worth, I'm a dad of two kids under 12 and I try to teach my kids about etiquette and kindness. I understand OP's response and again, I don't think she did anything wrong technically but if you look inside of her heart, there is a conflicted feeling. She desires validation, albeit from strangers, but validation nonetheless. I think that comes from a place where she knows she could have been gracious but wants additional justification to tell her she was ok in doing what she did. It was ok but I think she knows she could have done better.

OP, take a minute, reflect on this event, close the folder on this and go out and intentionally be gracious. Let someone cut in front of you at the grocery store or Costco, in traffic or perform an intentional random act of kindness. Watch the other person's reaction and see how it makes you feel (I'm going to guess that there won't be conflict in your heart). From my own anecdotal experience, 7 out of 10 people will be really appreciative. It will make your day and if your kids are with you, they will see (and learn) what kindness and graciousness does in this world because they saw you were the cause of it.

If you are ever behind me in the bathroom line with 2 kids who have to go, you won't need to ask me. I will offer you up my place in line. And that will make a difference in your day.

Peace be with you OP!

This is what I have noticed with our society now. We are less gracious as a whole. I am old school. I would also have let her go first.

[Anonymous]

In the hospital the nurse asks the patient to rate the pain on a scale from 1 to 10.

On the toilet line we should arrange ourselves depending upon how bad we have to take a pee.

Also, outdoor johns should be labelled #1 or #2, not "men" or "women."

[Anonymous]

Op, I don't think that you did anything wrong. If she really had to go, there were port-a-potties. Its easier for a solo person to go in a port-a-potty than an adult with two small kids to use one. I honestly think that the woman just preferred the bathroom to the other facilities. I don't blame her, but that doesn't mean that she gets to go to the front of the line just because she has got to go. I get that people think that you should have let her go because who wants to see or be that older woman that wets her pants, but why should you have to change a toddler's and/or the 6 yr old's wet clothes when you planned appropriately and got in line with enough time. Worries about no TP in the port-a-potties is BS because the bathroom could also be out of TP and no one tell you. If you have bowel or bladder issues as an adult you plan ahead when you are out because you don't want to be embarrassed. That means coming prepared with tissues/wipes and excepting a bush or a port-a-potty when you need to.

[Anonymous]

The funny thing about this thread and the people posting that the Op should have let the woman go ahead is that it is very likely that many of these same people would have been judging the Op for not planning ahead when the kids are walking around wet. Why didn't the Op go to the portable potties, wrangle the toddler, manage the 6 yr old, hold the door open/closed, keep each kid from falling in, keep the kids from touching too many things, keep the toddler safe while the older child goes, and keep both kids safe while she goes. If it were just me, I would likely have let the older lady go ahead of me. If I'm with my kids (8 and 11), I would ask them if they can wait, but my kids don't deserve to be embarrassed any more than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing about this thread and the people posting that the Op should have let the woman go ahead is that it is very likely that many of these same people would have been judging the Op for not planning ahead when the kids are walking around wet. Why didn't the Op go to the portable potties, wrangle the toddler, manage the 6 yr old, hold the door open/closed, keep each kid from falling in, keep the kids from touching too many things, keep the toddler safe while the older child goes, and keep both kids safe while she goes. If it were just me, I would likely have let the older lady go ahead of me. If I'm with my kids (8 and 11), I would ask them if they can wait, but my kids don't deserve to be embarrassed any more than anyone else.

OP's kids are not 8 or 11 like yours. Its no big deal if a 2 year old or a 6 year old wet themselves. But a grown person wetting themselves is humiliating for them. That is why there are so many of us on Team Grandma.

Like the Dad put it a few posts above, graciousness is a valuable lesson you teach your kids at a young age. And the OP obviously feels conflicted about what she did, hence this thread. At least OP is conflicted. There are many others on this thread who lack even that.