To those with “crisp” clean preschoolers...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a crisp toddler?

Apparently the child of an OCD mother.

No. Just a clean kid wearing clean and ironed clothes. You know, someone who does not look neglected.

+1. I am so tired of the defensive excuses. It is laughable that mothers who bathe their children daily and put them in clean, unstained and unwrinkled clothes have OCD.

+1 I have noticed that a certain subset of mothers seem to almost take pride in throwing their hands in the air and wear their disorganization and lack of effort as a badge of honor. Y’know, the kind of mother who sharesthose Scary Mommy “My kids have eaten goldfish for dinner four times this week: and here’s why that’s okay” or “I haven’t vacuumed or mopped in ten years because making memories is more important” articles. You know the type.

I cook dinner almost every night and our house is always clean. But it is BSC to control your kids’ bowels and some of the other nonsense here. No wonder half the population is on anti-anxiety meds.

[Anonymous]

Mother of several boys here: we don't buy any white or pastel clothing. Period.

Boys bathe every night.

They wear under armour since it's comfy and doesn't require ironing. Dark colors work best, and everything I buy is mix and match so the kids can easily dress themselves.

Brushing hair and teeth each morning is basic hygiene and part of the routine.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a 3yo dd here. I also have grown kids, so I've been through this.

Ok-I get wanting kids to look nice. That is important to me. But are some of you not aware that you can buy nice, easy care clothing for kids? That doesn't require ironing.That come out of the dryer or off the line looking not wrinkled?

I work full time and commute an hour each way. Last thing I'm doing is ironing pre-k clothing! BTW dd looks clean and tidy, my laundry is generally always caught up and I value my limited time with her-since I have grown kids, I know how fast time goes.

For those of you in uniform situations, have you tried Primary? That stuff doesn't seem to wrinkle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a crisp toddler?

Apparently the child of an OCD mother.

No. Just a clean kid wearing clean and ironed clothes. You know, someone who does not look neglected.

+1. I am so tired of the defensive excuses. It is laughable that mothers who bathe their children daily and put them in clean, unstained and unwrinkled clothes have OCD.

+1 I have noticed that a certain subset of mothers seem to almost take pride in throwing their hands in the air and wear their disorganization and lack of effort as a badge of honor. Y’know, the kind of mother who sharesthose Scary Mommy “My kids have eaten goldfish for dinner four times this week: and here’s why that’s okay” or “I haven’t vacuumed or mopped in ten years because making memories is more important” articles. You know the type.

-1 I am so tired of the mothers that see their children as an extension of themselves. You know, the mothers I see yelling at their kids for doing normal kid things, like playing in the dirt and eating melting popsicles. Don't dress your preschooler in white and expect them to stay clean. Your poor crisp mother boys will be living in your basement for the next 30 years.

You have a reading comprehension issue, PP. OP and others are talking about how some kids START the day looking clean and crisp. No one has said - in ten pages - that we don’t expect, embrace and encourage our kids to get muddy, play hard and paint with abandon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a crisp toddler?

Apparently the child of an OCD mother.

No. Just a clean kid wearing clean and ironed clothes. You know, someone who does not look neglected.

+1. I am so tired of the defensive excuses. It is laughable that mothers who bathe their children daily and put them in clean, unstained and unwrinkled clothes have OCD.

+1 I have noticed that a certain subset of mothers seem to almost take pride in throwing their hands in the air and wear their disorganization and lack of effort as a badge of honor. Y’know, the kind of mother who sharesthose Scary Mommy “My kids have eaten goldfish for dinner four times this week: and here’s why that’s okay” or “I haven’t vacuumed or mopped in ten years because making memories is more important” articles. You know the type.

I cook dinner almost every night and our house is always clean. But it is BSC to control your kids’ bowels and some of the other nonsense here. No wonder half the population is on anti-anxiety meds.

The bowel control poster was one crazy poster. No one agreed with her. I have crisp, clean kids in the morning and no one suffers from anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. Some of the kids are terrified of getting messy. We figure out pretty quickly which ones are like that because of nature (anxiety/sensory issues/texture sensitivity) or nurture (Mom/dad are constantly worried about germs and mess and the kid is as a result).

A child who is scared of participating in benign Preschool experiences will miss out in some small way. If they’re afraid to play in the tray of shaving cream they might miss out on a social experience, they might miss a lesson on writing letters in the shaving cream, they might not overcome small anxieties and will thus have a harder time as they get older because problems for kids get bigger when theyre older and environments aren’t quite as controlled for them.

For those of you who worry so much about how your kids look, how clean their clothes are, how crisp their bows are...remember that you’re sending the message to them that they can’t explore with abandon, they can’t be themselves, that they have to be afraid of dirt and slime and paint...and if they can’t handle those challenges at 3 and 4, then how will they stand up to a bully at age 10? Preschool is the time to build social skills, confidence, and resilience.

Thank you so much for this. I completely agree. Those of us who don't iron our kids' clothes aren't neglecting them, and I don't take pride in feeding my kids goldfish for dinner. I do, however, take pride in valuing their insides more than their outsides, and modeling those values for them. You can take pride in yourself, including your appearance, without being rigid and controlling.

Amen!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. Some of the kids are terrified of getting messy. We figure out pretty quickly which ones are like that because of nature (anxiety/sensory issues/texture sensitivity) or nurture (Mom/dad are constantly worried about germs and mess and the kid is as a result).

A child who is scared of participating in benign Preschool experiences will miss out in some small way. If they’re afraid to play in the tray of shaving cream they might miss out on a social experience, they might miss a lesson on writing letters in the shaving cream, they might not overcome small anxieties and will thus have a harder time as they get older because problems for kids get bigger when theyre older and environments aren’t quite as controlled for them.

For those of you who worry so much about how your kids look, how clean their clothes are, how crisp their bows are...remember that you’re sending the message to them that they can’t explore with abandon, they can’t be themselves, that they have to be afraid of dirt and slime and paint...and if they can’t handle those challenges at 3 and 4, then how will they stand up to a bully at age 10? Preschool is the time to build social skills, confidence, and resilience.

Thank you so much for this. I completely agree. Those of us who don't iron our kids' clothes aren't neglecting them, and I don't take pride in feeding my kids goldfish for dinner. I do, however, take pride in valuing their insides more than their outsides, and modeling those values for them. You can take pride in yourself, including your appearance, without being rigid and controlling.

Amen!!

Oh, stop the excuses! I value my kids “insides” and manage to bathe them, comb their hair and send them to preschool in clean, unstained clothing. I model smelling good to my children among other virtues.

[Anonymous]

The morning poop schedule poster is on to something. My 3 year old DD has been on miralax. For a year and suffers from constipstion. She eats lots of fruits, veggies and whole grains but has a withholding habit. Anyways her GI recommended putting her on the potty every morning after breakfast for three minutes and in the evening after dinner. We do the after dinner but mornings are chaotic so we haven’t attempted mornings yet. Apparently having them sit on the potty stimulates their bowels even if they end up doing nothing. It’s called bowel training Don’t see what’s wrong with it. Obviously in addition to having her try to poop after meals we also encourage her to poop whenever she feels the urge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The morning poop schedule poster is on to something. My 3 year old DD has been on miralax. For a year and suffers from constipstion. She eats lots of fruits, veggies and whole grains but has a withholding habit. Anyways her GI recommended putting her on the potty every morning after breakfast for three minutes and in the evening after dinner. We do the after dinner but mornings are chaotic so we haven’t attempted mornings yet. Apparently having them sit on the potty stimulates their bowels even if they end up doing nothing. It’s called bowel training Don’t see what’s wrong with it. Obviously in addition to having her try to poop after meals we also encourage her to poop whenever she feels the urge.

It simply is not that predictable for unmedicated preschoolers. And pooping before school does not make a kid more clean or crisp unless he/she poops in her pants and no one cleans the kid up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The morning poop schedule poster is on to something. My 3 year old DD has been on miralax. For a year and suffers from constipstion. She eats lots of fruits, veggies and whole grains but has a withholding habit. Anyways her GI recommended putting her on the potty every morning after breakfast for three minutes and in the evening after dinner. We do the after dinner but mornings are chaotic so we haven’t attempted mornings yet. Apparently having them sit on the potty stimulates their bowels even if they end up doing nothing. It’s called bowel training Don’t see what’s wrong with it. Obviously in addition to having her try to poop after meals we also encourage her to poop whenever she feels the urge.

It simply is not that predictable for unmedicated preschoolers. And pooping before school does not make a kid more clean or crisp unless he/she poops in her pants and no one cleans the kid up.

Yes I agree. And rest of her post was ridiculous. I’m just saying that our GI recommends putting DD on a pooping schedule and people who poop on schedule tend to be the least constipated. Every pediatric GI recommends this not just ours. And to make it clear. Your kid may not poop but they still should sit on the toilet after every meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. Some of the kids are terrified of getting messy. We figure out pretty quickly which ones are like that because of nature (anxiety/sensory issues/texture sensitivity) or nurture (Mom/dad are constantly worried about germs and mess and the kid is as a result).

A child who is scared of participating in benign Preschool experiences will miss out in some small way. If they’re afraid to play in the tray of shaving cream they might miss out on a social experience, they might miss a lesson on writing letters in the shaving cream, they might not overcome small anxieties and will thus have a harder time as they get older because problems for kids get bigger when theyre older and environments aren’t quite as controlled for them.

For those of you who worry so much about how your kids look, how clean their clothes are, how crisp their bows are...remember that you’re sending the message to them that they can’t explore with abandon, they can’t be themselves, that they have to be afraid of dirt and slime and paint...and if they can’t handle those challenges at 3 and 4, then how will they stand up to a bully at age 10? Preschool is the time to build social skills, confidence, and resilience.

Thank you so much for this. I completely agree. Those of us who don't iron our kids' clothes aren't neglecting them, and I don't take pride in feeding my kids goldfish for dinner. I do, however, take pride in valuing their insides more than their outsides, and modeling those values for them. You can take pride in yourself, including your appearance, without being rigid and controlling.

Amen!!

Oh, stop the excuses! I value my kids “insides” and manage to bathe them, comb their hair and send them to preschool in clean, unstained clothing. I model smelling good to my children among other virtues.

So do I! But iron their clothing? Describe a three year old as "crisp"? That's extreme, and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. Some of the kids are terrified of getting messy. We figure out pretty quickly which ones are like that because of nature (anxiety/sensory issues/texture sensitivity) or nurture (Mom/dad are constantly worried about germs and mess and the kid is as a result).

A child who is scared of participating in benign Preschool experiences will miss out in some small way. If they’re afraid to play in the tray of shaving cream they might miss out on a social experience, they might miss a lesson on writing letters in the shaving cream, they might not overcome small anxieties and will thus have a harder time as they get older because problems for kids get bigger when theyre older and environments aren’t quite as controlled for them.

For those of you who worry so much about how your kids look, how clean their clothes are, how crisp their bows are...remember that you’re sending the message to them that they can’t explore with abandon, they can’t be themselves, that they have to be afraid of dirt and slime and paint...and if they can’t handle those challenges at 3 and 4, then how will they stand up to a bully at age 10? Preschool is the time to build social skills, confidence, and resilience.

Thank you so much for this. I completely agree. Those of us who don't iron our kids' clothes aren't neglecting them, and I don't take pride in feeding my kids goldfish for dinner. I do, however, take pride in valuing their insides more than their outsides, and modeling those values for them. You can take pride in yourself, including your appearance, without being rigid and controlling.

Amen!!

Oh, stop the excuses! I value my kids “insides” and manage to bathe them, comb their hair and send them to preschool in clean, unstained clothing. I model smelling good to my children among other virtues.

I’m the Preschool teacher from the PP. I agree that bathing your kids and brushing their hair is important, of course. Basic hygiene. But the compulsion to iron their clothes so they’re crisp or insisting on bows for girls when they don’t like them, or having them avoid getting messy during play at home to avoid having to change their clothes for fear of a stain revealed in public...that is where you teach your kids that their outer appearance takes priority on their “insides”—which, in my opinion, is secondary. Basic hygiene aside

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. Some of the kids are terrified of getting messy. We figure out pretty quickly which ones are like that because of nature (anxiety/sensory issues/texture sensitivity) or nurture (Mom/dad are constantly worried about germs and mess and the kid is as a result).

A child who is scared of participating in benign Preschool experiences will miss out in some small way. If they’re afraid to play in the tray of shaving cream they might miss out on a social experience, they might miss a lesson on writing letters in the shaving cream, they might not overcome small anxieties and will thus have a harder time as they get older because problems for kids get bigger when theyre older and environments aren’t quite as controlled for them.

For those of you who worry so much about how your kids look, how clean their clothes are, how crisp their bows are...remember that you’re sending the message to them that they can’t explore with abandon, they can’t be themselves, that they have to be afraid of dirt and slime and paint...and if they can’t handle those challenges at 3 and 4, then how will they stand up to a bully at age 10? Preschool is the time to build social skills, confidence, and resilience.

Thank you so much for this. I completely agree. Those of us who don't iron our kids' clothes aren't neglecting them, and I don't take pride in feeding my kids goldfish for dinner. I do, however, take pride in valuing their insides more than their outsides, and modeling those values for them. You can take pride in yourself, including your appearance, without being rigid and controlling.

Amen!!

Oh, stop the excuses! I value my kids “insides” and manage to bathe them, comb their hair and send them to preschool in clean, unstained clothing. I model smelling good to my children among other virtues.

I’m the Preschool teacher from the PP. I agree that bathing your kids and brushing their hair is important, of course. Basic hygiene. But the compulsion to iron their clothes so they’re crisp or insisting on bows for girls when they don’t like them, or having them avoid getting messy during play at home to avoid having to change their clothes for fear of a stain revealed in public...that is where you teach your kids that their outer appearance takes priority on their “insides”—which, in my opinion, is secondary. Basic hygiene aside

I have worked in a daycare too. A vast number of kids are dropped by their parents without being bathed and without their hair combed. Their clothes are stained and crusty. Yes, small kids do not have BO but there are other things that is unappealing. I have also seen infants where the parents bring them in with crusty noses and eyes. Please, stick around for a few moments and clean their faces before you go. If you don't care, do you think minimum wage care providers will? Your kids are cute to you but others don't find unclean kids cute.

I remember, once there was a child who would always get hugs from the daycare providers because her mom used a particularly nice smelling fabric softener. We all commented on how nice she smelled to each other. Same for hair shampoo that smells nice. I never forgot that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys are older now, but I never could have bothered with some of these routines. I always sent them to daycare in comfy, pull-on pants and soft tee shirts so they could move around freely. Very little white or pale colors, so no stains. My sister sends her kids with tons of zippers, buttons and snaps and I feel bad for them. Yes, they look cute, but that little oxford shirt and sweater vest just isn't as comfortable as a plain tee. We tease her that they look like little lord fauntleroy.

Showers daily during the summer or when needed, but less often during the winter. My husband is military so our boys get a buzzcut once a month and he irons everybody's dressy clothes on the rare occasion that they need to dress up. They always look presentable and clean, at least at the start of the day.

Yikes.

What is wrong with that? My boys also get a military style cut once a month, because we do it at home with an electric razor. Their hair grows really quickly so it’s the easiest way.