Reply to To those with “crisp” clean preschoolers...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I teach preschool. Some of the kids are terrified of getting messy. We figure out pretty quickly which ones are like that because of nature (anxiety/sensory issues/texture sensitivity) or nurture (Mom/dad are constantly worried about germs and mess and the kid is as a result).

A child who is scared of participating in benign Preschool experiences will miss out in some small way. If they’re afraid to play in the tray of shaving cream they might miss out on a social experience, they might miss a lesson on writing letters in the shaving cream, they might not overcome small anxieties and will thus have a harder time as they get older because problems for kids get bigger when theyre older and environments aren’t quite as controlled for them.

For those of you who worry so much about how your kids look, how clean their clothes are, how crisp their bows are...remember that you’re sending the message to them that they can’t explore with abandon, they can’t be themselves, that they have to be afraid of dirt and slime and paint...and if they can’t handle those challenges at 3 and 4, then how will they stand up to a bully at age 10? [b]Preschool is the time to build social skills, confidence, and resilience.[/b] [/quote]

Thank you so much for this.  I completely agree.  Those of us who don't iron our kids' clothes aren't neglecting them, and I don't take pride in feeding my kids goldfish for dinner.  I do, however, take pride in valuing their insides more than their outsides, and modeling those values for them.  You can take pride in yourself, including your appearance, without being rigid and controlling.[/quote]

Amen!! [/quote]

Oh, stop the excuses!  I value my kids “insides” and manage to bathe them, comb their hair and send them to preschool in clean, unstained clothing.  I model smelling good to my children among other virtues.  [/quote]

I’m the Preschool teacher from the PP. I agree that bathing your kids and brushing their hair is important, of course. Basic hygiene. But the compulsion to iron their clothes so they’re crisp or insisting on bows for girls when they don’t like them, or having them avoid getting messy during play at home to avoid having to change their clothes for fear of a stain revealed in public...that is where you teach your kids that their outer appearance takes priority on their “insides”—which, in my opinion,  is secondary. Basic hygiene aside :) [/quote]

I have worked in a daycare too. A vast number of kids are dropped by their parents without being bathed and without their hair combed.  Their clothes are stained and crusty.  Yes, small kids do not have BO but there are other things that is unappealing.   I have also seen infants where the parents bring them in with crusty noses and eyes.  Please, stick around for a few moments and clean their faces before you go.  If you don't care, do you think minimum wage care providers will?  Your kids are cute to you but others don't find unclean kids cute.

I remember, once there was a child who would always get hugs from the daycare providers because her mom used a particularly nice smelling fabric softener. We all commented on how nice she smelled to each other. Same for hair shampoo that smells nice.  I never forgot that. [/quote]

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