When you're at a dinner party and there's only wine, no other drinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a dinner party, I’d certainly offer people water, beer, wine, or coffee/tea, but it’s unlikely that I’ll have something like lemonade on hand unless there are children.

Why not have other drinks? Many people don't drink beer/wine, coffee/tea and would like something more tasty than water.

I’m pretty sure most adults drink one of the beverages PP serves.

We don't normally have other options in the house. I'm not going to buy various kinds of soda or whatever, "just in case". Water/coffee/wine/beer would have to suffice.

You seem like a crappy host. I have tons of things on hand just in case. I have never regretted it, are you cheap?

NP. But when I invite people over, I tell them it’s going to be crappy!
https://www.thekitchn.com/5-rules-for-hosting-a-crappy-dinner-party-235815

If I am guest & want water which is often the case, I ask or get it myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a dinner party, I’d certainly offer people water, beer, wine, or coffee/tea, but it’s unlikely that I’ll have something like lemonade on hand unless there are children.

Why not have other drinks? Many people don't drink beer/wine, coffee/tea and would like something more tasty than water.

I’m pretty sure most adults drink one of the beverages PP serves.

We don't normally have other options in the house. I'm not going to buy various kinds of soda or whatever, "just in case". Water/coffee/wine/beer would have to suffice.

You seem like a crappy host. I have tons of things on hand just in case. I have never regretted it, are you cheap?

No. We have soda if there will be teenagers around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to say thanks to those that offer still water as well as sparkling. I can't stand sparkling water (and I happen to not drink wine).

If you don’t want sparkling, walk to the sink and fill up your glass. You people are so helpless. Why dirty a pitcher for tap water!?!

I know plenty of hosts who would be horrified by someone leaving the table and helping themselves from the kitchen. Besides which,

I don't have a problem with a nice picture of iced water on the table with some lemon slices or something. I don't think there needs to be more than that. But the idea that the host should spend lots of money on wine, but shouldn't be asked to run a pitcher through the dishwasher for the someone who doesn't or can't drink is a little strange.

I also think fat shaming someone for a glass of juice, when wine has twice the calories of orange juice, is absurd.

Except no one did that.

1) No one on here is drinking wine with every meal, and "can't enjoy food without it." Wine is consumed as an occasional, special treat, at least for most people who have been commenting here.

2) OP DOES consume sugary juices and sodas and lemonades, etc., with every meal. She "needs" them in order to enjoy food. I'm not fat-shaming her, but I am questioning her on this--is this an addiction? Is this a problem? Is this unhealthy? Perhaps yes, yes, and yes. It's something she needs to honestly think about, and maybe talk to her doctor about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you overweight, OP?

As opposed to people who only drink wine with dinner. That’s like saying “are you an alcoholic?”

The DC area seems to drink a lot of alcohol and just serving wine and water at a formal dinner shows how normalized it is. Some people don’t like alcohol and that is ok. Telling them the only other option is water is pushing alcohol in my opinion which is irresponsible when you have guests that are driving.

We always serve wine, water (sparking and still) and Italian sodas. It truly is no big deal to keep a 6 pack in the house for guests who don’t drink but don’t want to be stuck just drinking water all night.

I agree with you that a lot of people in this area seem to abuse wine and alcohol, and over-consumption has been normalized.

But let's review just this thread--we're talking about wine at a dinner party. So let's assume most people here are consuming wine on a special-occasion or at least not-everyday basis.

Then OP comes along and says she "needs" sugary drinks like soda, juice and lemonade not only every day, but with every meal.

Now, can you defend that as normal, healthy, non-addictive behavior? Or would you question and be worried about that, just as you see abnormal wine consumption in this area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of the posts are saying that anything other than water or wine at dinner is unacceptable. It’s ridiculous. It is perfectly fine and acceptable to offer other kinds of beverages.

To offer them, YES. To expect them and complain when they aren't available, NO.

[Anonymous]

Water is always available. Ask. Not asking is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Soda is for whitetrash. Unless it's the trailer park block party, I would not expect "soda".

[Anonymous]

Haha....I thought this thread was going to be about hosts that don’t offer cocktails and I was prepared to share your outrage. So disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to say thanks to those that offer still water as well as sparkling. I can't stand sparkling water (and I happen to not drink wine).

If you don’t want sparkling, walk to the sink and fill up your glass. You people are so helpless. Why dirty a pitcher for tap water!?!

I know plenty of hosts who would be horrified by someone leaving the table and helping themselves from the kitchen. Besides which,

I don't have a problem with a nice picture of iced water on the table with some lemon slices or something. I don't think there needs to be more than that. But the idea that the host should spend lots of money on wine, but shouldn't be asked to run a pitcher through the dishwasher for the someone who doesn't or can't drink is a little strange.

I also think fat shaming someone for a glass of juice, when wine has twice the calories of orange juice, is absurd.

If your friends are horrified if someone gets a glass of water, you need new friends. That can’t be fun for you or them.

I put out pitchers of water but to think water is not available unles it is in a pitcher on the table is stuffy and weird to the point of bizarre. No one is fat shaming anyone. But I don’t think of juice as an adult beverage at dinner (brunch, of course it I should normal to offer it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just want to say thanks to those that offer still water as well as sparkling. I can't stand sparkling water (and I happen to not drink wine).

If you don’t want sparkling, walk to the sink and fill up your glass. You people are so helpless. Why dirty a pitcher for tap water!?!

I know plenty of hosts who would be horrified by someone leaving the table and helping themselves from the kitchen. Besides which,

I don't have a problem with a nice picture of iced water on the table with some lemon slices or something. I don't think there needs to be more than that. But the idea that the host should spend lots of money on wine, but shouldn't be asked to run a pitcher through the dishwasher for the someone who doesn't or can't drink is a little strange.

I also think fat shaming someone for a glass of juice, when wine has twice the calories of orange juice, is absurd.

Except no one did that.

1) No one on here is drinking wine with every meal, and "can't enjoy food without it." Wine is consumed as an occasional, special treat, at least for most people who have been commenting here.

2) OP DOES consume sugary juices and sodas and lemonades, etc., with every meal. She "needs" them in order to enjoy food. I'm not fat-shaming her, but I am questioning her on this--is this an addiction? Is this a problem? Is this unhealthy? Perhaps yes, yes, and yes. It's something she needs to honestly think about, and maybe talk to her doctor about.

Precicesly. Yes, if someone claims they need wine at EVERY MEAL to enjoy the food, that would be problematic, now wouldn't it? But it's only OP who "needs" juice and soda at lest THREE TIMES A DAY in order to enjoy food. Wow, that's messed up.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve returned sodas because no one drinks them. Both traditional sodas like coke, Diet Coke, and the fancy sodas like pellegrino lemon/lime. And of course even when I offered those, I’m sure there was some d-bag like OP that complained that I didn’t offer caffeine free diet sprite.

How cheap are you that you RETURNED them?

I thought the same thing. Who returns sodas?! Multiple times!? Now that’s tacky. Just give them away. Take them to the office. Give them to a shelter or church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you overweight, OP?

As opposed to people who only drink wine with dinner. That’s like saying “are you an alcoholic?”

The DC area seems to drink a lot of alcohol and just serving wine and water at a formal dinner shows how normalized it is. Some people don’t like alcohol and that is ok. Telling them the only other option is water is pushing alcohol in my opinion which is irresponsible when you have guests that are driving.

We always serve wine, water (sparking and still) and Italian sodas. It truly is no big deal to keep a 6 pack in the house for guests who don’t drink but don’t want to be stuck just drinking water all night.

I agree with you that a lot of people in this area seem to abuse wine and alcohol, and over-consumption has been normalized.

But let's review just this thread--we're talking about wine at a dinner party. So let's assume most people here are consuming wine on a special-occasion or at least not-everyday basis.

Then OP comes along and says she "needs" sugary drinks like soda, juice and lemonade not only every day, but with every meal.

Now, can you defend that as normal, healthy, non-addictive behavior? Or would you question and be worried about that, just as you see abnormal wine consumption in this area?

I’m the PP. if people like you and me enjoy wine with a good meal why wouldn’t you want to ensure your guests who don’t drink wine have something more interesting than water? If there preference happens to be juice instead of wine who cares? There is a weird sentiment on this thread that wine is sophisticated so it’s OK and juice/soda isn’t. I find it odd to be judgemental about a beverage. Life is too short to criticize friends about their drink preferences. If it makes you feel better serve grape juice.


That said, i’m off to Easter lunch where we will have mimosas and wine. Life is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you overweight, OP?

As opposed to people who only drink wine with dinner. That’s like saying “are you an alcoholic?”

The DC area seems to drink a lot of alcohol and just serving wine and water at a formal dinner shows how normalized it is. Some people don’t like alcohol and that is ok. Telling them the only other option is water is pushing alcohol in my opinion which is irresponsible when you have guests that are driving.

We always serve wine, water (sparking and still) and Italian sodas. It truly is no big deal to keep a 6 pack in the house for guests who don’t drink but don’t want to be stuck just drinking water all night.

I agree with you that a lot of people in this area seem to abuse wine and alcohol, and over-consumption has been normalized.

But let's review just this thread--we're talking about wine at a dinner party. So let's assume most people here are consuming wine on a special-occasion or at least not-everyday basis.

Then OP comes along and says she "needs" sugary drinks like soda, juice and lemonade not only every day, but with every meal.

Now, can you defend that as normal, healthy, non-addictive behavior? Or would you question and be worried about that, just as you see abnormal wine consumption in this area?

I’m the PP. if people like you and me enjoy wine with a good meal why wouldn’t you want to ensure your guests who don’t drink wine have something more interesting than water? If there preference happens to be juice instead of wine who cares? There is a weird sentiment on this thread that wine is sophisticated so it’s OK and juice/soda isn’t. I find it odd to be judgemental about a beverage. Life is too short to criticize friends about their drink preferences. If it makes you feel better serve grape juice.


That said, i’m off to Easter lunch where we will have mimosas and wine. Life is good.

I do offer more—during cocktail hour. If you want to carry your glass of Diet Coke into the dining room, feel free. But my food and wines have been specifically paired. Water and sparkling water are also available. That is more than adequate hospitality.

[Anonymous]

^^^Indeed it is, PP.