Is Throwing or breaking objects during an argument = domestic violence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have a disagreement on whether or not throwing or breaking objects (and not hitting anyone) during an argument is = domestic violence. If someone throws something or puts a fist through a wall during a fight is it considered domestic violence/abuse?

Let's take a poll. What do you think?

yes if it is meant to scare someone

[Anonymous]

Put whatever label you want on the behavior, but it's a deal breaker. Someone so out of control that they can't stop themselves from throwing stuff isn't someone you want as a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have a disagreement on whether or not throwing or breaking objects (and not hitting anyone) during an argument is = domestic violence. If someone throws something or puts a fist through a wall during a fight is it considered domestic violence/abuse?

Let's take a poll. What do you think?

Yes. Don't need a poll. It is the law.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it throwing things or breaking objects is a form of "coercive control". It is violence meant to intimidate the witness into behaving in a way that the perpetrator wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the posters that it is a form of intimidation/emotional abuse and that it can lead to physical abuse. Especially when done in anger during an argument or fight. My ex started with throwing things and it did escalate to physical assault.

But the other point I’ll make is that it on its own makes a high conflict household. That is distressing and harmful (particularly if children are in the home). It is ok to decide that this untreated, unpredictable anger is a deal breaker. It takes a toll on people’s nervous system to be around unpredictable anger. And you can decide you don’t want to live that way.

Hugs.

I don't know that this is always happening due to unpredictable anger. Often it's something that is actually life threatening or incredibly destabilizing. I've seen online stories where the wife finds out the man was married to someone else out of state and threw something. Where they committed a crime they concealed and the wife is reacting to this. The unpredictability can also be in the person that the other person is reacting to. Often something deceitful and damaging that the other person does which then destabilizes another because it affects them greatly and they were never consulted. I'm not saying that it is normal behavior, but it's not always someone just having a bad day themselves and taking it out on another.

[Anonymous]

I think that it is DV in the making. If it happens once, it will happen again. Get out of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

no but if it’s repeated behavior it’s emotionally abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that it is DV in the making. If it happens once, it will happen again. Get out of the relationship.

I said it’s not DV, but I agree with this. People who are physically violent usually start with taking out their aggression on objects, not hitting people.

[Anonymous]

My husband gets mood swings he threw something out of anger I was putting my shoes on it hit me near the temple I have a bruise

[Anonymous]

Look up the legal definition in the state or DC. It usually is considered a form of domestic violence in most states, at least as far as I am aware of. I am not an attorney. That alone is typically not enough to result in a conviction in isolation however.

If you have to ask, you need a divorce.

[Anonymous]

My ex-wife threw things at me several times in the last year of the marriage, but not a single cop, lawyer, or judge cared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Anger control issues. But not DV.

right. If it's something women do all the time it's an "anger control issue". If men do it it's domestic violence.

Yes, women are famous for punching walls when they get angry. Good job spotting the sexism.

My sister is actually notorious for this.

[Anonymous]

NP
What about snatching an object from someone’s hands in anger?

Like a plate that you want to put on a different shelf but the spouse does not agree with you

You come over yell and snatch it out of their hands

[Anonymous]

I hope you are not raising children under these conditions.

If you are, you must leave to teach them this is neither normal nor healthy.

It does not matter if you or your husband is right about how you label it.

(It is violent, out of control, anger.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband gets mood swings he threw something out of anger I was putting my shoes on it hit me near the temple I have a bruise

That is not a “mood swing.” That is domestic violence.

Get out now.