Men: would you be willing to purchase an engagement ring for a woman?

[Anonymous]

Feminist here who had no desire for an engagement ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a "feminist guy"?

This is a great example of why not to trust men who CLAIM to be feminists.

First of all bro, if you were really interested in feminism and helping women, then you would be aware of the wage gap, where women currently make 70% of what a man makes.

The FEMINIST MOVEMENT is not about making it so that men can get laid and women have to pay for shit. It's about women's liberation.

You are so full of shit and trying to act like you are a feminist to try to wriggle out of paying... you are so much more laughably transparent then you realize.

Hana good

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't buy and don't wear rings. We need no manmade baubles to prove to ourselves we love each other. Our love is true. In the words of a song:

Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
Ohhh
Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
Baby, it's fact
Ohhh
Baby, it's fact
Our love
Our love is true

You're quoting Hellogoodbye? Oh, how embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone claiming to be a feminist should buy an engagement ring for their husband to be. And get down on one knee to propose, then down on two to close the deal with a nice bj.

Keep dreaming OP. You've spent too much time alone with your fleshlight.

OP here, that's not a reply by me.

(Though, FWIW, my wife did propose to me! It was the night before our engagement party and laying in bed together we realized neither of us had actually done so yet.)

I'm sorry, are we supposed to care about your story? Is that supposed to somehow make you seem more desirable and less like a pariah? Cause it ain't working.

You say you don't care -- and yet you're still here, still responding to me. Keep it going, this is adorable.

I will. I love seeing you try to rationalize everyone who has insulted you and basically called you a loser. It's funny- watching those wheels of justification turn...

'Rationalize' implies that I think your opinion is valid and I have to spin it into a positive somehow. I don't think you have a valid opinion to start with, so there's not much to rationalize.

Oh, so you don't care about anyone's opinions here? And yet you're the one who started the thread and asked for opinions?

Likely story. I TOTALLY believe you.

I came here to hear opinions from men trying to justify their poor choices. If I wanted to generally respect the opinions of people around me, though, I'd live in California.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH didn't want to buy me an engagement ring (I used a ring from my family) but he did ask me to use my money to buy "us" a car. Fast forward 20 years and we're divorcing, he wants to retire at age 56 and live off 1/2 of my pension, and he doesn't want to help more than a nominal amount with child support or the kids' colleges and grad schools.

Yeah, I should have known from the very beginning. No use flaming me. The ring/car thing was a big red flag. (Well, everybody told me he was the "nice" one in the office and he's also good looking.)

Those of you who are still dating, learn from my mistakes. If you meet a guy like OP, check out the bigger picture. Check out his work ethic and his family's values. Most important: Does he want *you* to be happy, even if that requires following possibly archaic conventions like rings?

Your soon-to-be-ex husband sounds awful, but it also sounds like you're missing out on some basic logic. It wouldn't make sense to guess, based on his suggesting you spend your money on things that communally benefit both of you, that two decades later he's be going in the exact opposite direction by failing to meet your common obligations to your kids. If you were trying to read anything into it, it'd suggest he'd be awful by pushing you both to downsize massively to pay for what the kids need. But hey, tell yourself what you need to.

I put "us" in quotes because he's the one who wanted to use my money for a new and unecessary car. Not me. My point was that he's always been about himself. FWIW, he *is* pushing me to downsize massively--because I want to help the kids with tuition and he doesn't much, so more money is going to come from me if the kids are to avoid massive student loan debt (they already take out small amounts) at the colleges they already attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH didn't want to buy me an engagement ring (I used a ring from my family) but he did ask me to use my money to buy "us" a car. Fast forward 20 years and we're divorcing, he wants to retire at age 56 and live off 1/2 of my pension, and he doesn't want to help more than a nominal amount with child support or the kids' colleges and grad schools.

Yeah, I should have known from the very beginning. No use flaming me. The ring/car thing was a big red flag. (Well, everybody told me he was the "nice" one in the office and he's also good looking.)

Those of you who are still dating, learn from my mistakes. If you meet a guy like OP, check out the bigger picture. Check out his work ethic and his family's values. Most important: Does he want *you* to be happy, even if that requires following possibly archaic conventions like rings?

Your soon-to-be-ex husband sounds awful, but it also sounds like you're missing out on some basic logic. It wouldn't make sense to guess, based on his suggesting you spend your money on things that communally benefit both of you, that two decades later he's be going in the exact opposite direction by failing to meet your common obligations to your kids. If you were trying to read anything into it, it'd suggest he'd be awful by pushing you both to downsize massively to pay for what the kids need. But hey, tell yourself what you need to.

I put "us" in quotes because he's the one who wanted to use my money for a new and unecessary car. Not me. My point was that he's always been about himself. FWIW, he *is* pushing me to downsize massively--because I want to help the kids with tuition and he doesn't much, so more money is going to come from me if the kids are to avoid massive student loan debt (they already take out small amounts) at the colleges they already attend.

Oh, in that case yeah he sounds like a consistent piece of shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a feminist guy, this is a deal-breaker for me and I feel pity and mystification for my guy friends when I hear about them doing it -- some of them are shelling out literally thousands of dollars for a ring that their partner isn't paying for half of. For these guys it's like the sexual revolution never happened.

If your answer is 'yes, I totally would', is it because you don't consider yourself a feminist, or what?

I'm a woman, and I think shelling out thousands for jewelry is dumb. Unless you're Donald Trump rich, obviously. 50/50 is besides the point for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a feminist guy, this is a deal-breaker for me and I feel pity and mystification for my guy friends when I hear about them doing it -- some of them are shelling out literally thousands of dollars for a ring that their partner isn't paying for half of. For these guys it's like the sexual revolution never happened.

If your answer is 'yes, I totally would', is it because you don't consider yourself a feminist, or what?

I'm a woman, and I think shelling out thousands for jewelry is dumb. Unless you're Donald Trump rich, obviously. 50/50 is besides the point for me.

Exactly. If you think an engagement ring is an unreasonable expense, you're a poor.

Don't marry poor men. Don't marry selfish men who won't indulge you in a token of affection. Men don't become kinder and more generous over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a feminist guy, this is a deal-breaker for me and I feel pity and mystification for my guy friends when I hear about them doing it -- some of them are shelling out literally thousands of dollars for a ring that their partner isn't paying for half of. For these guys it's like the sexual revolution never happened.

If your answer is 'yes, I totally would', is it because you don't consider yourself a feminist, or what?

I'm a woman, and I think shelling out thousands for jewelry is dumb. Unless you're Donald Trump rich, obviously. 50/50 is besides the point for me.

Exactly. If you think an engagement ring is an unreasonable expense, you're a poor.

Don't marry poor men. Don't marry selfish men who won't indulge you in a token of affection. Men don't become kinder and more generous over time.

Exactly. Marry a guy like Donald Trump. Kind and generous.

[Anonymous]

Wow mean girls really like their rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a feminist guy, this is a deal-breaker for me and I feel pity and mystification for my guy friends when I hear about them doing it -- some of them are shelling out literally thousands of dollars for a ring that their partner isn't paying for half of. For these guys it's like the sexual revolution never happened.

If your answer is 'yes, I totally would', is it because you don't consider yourself a feminist, or what?

I'm a woman, and I think shelling out thousands for jewelry is dumb. Unless you're Donald Trump rich, obviously. 50/50 is besides the point for me.

Exactly. If you think an engagement ring is an unreasonable expense, you're a poor.

Don't marry poor men. Don't marry selfish men who won't indulge you in a token of affection. Men don't become kinder and more generous over time.

Exactly. Marry a guy like Donald Trump. Kind and generous.

You have to be unthinkably poor to imagine several thousand dollars only becomes a token amount for literal billionaires. My husband bought my ring with a mid-year bonus.

[Anonymous]

Both rich and poor men can be unkind, and also ungenerous. The reverse is also true. Stack the deck in your favor and marry someone who has all 3 right now. Even if things don't always go smoothly for you in the future, you will never regret marrying someone kind and generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a feminist guy, this is a deal-breaker for me and I feel pity and mystification for my guy friends when I hear about them doing it -- some of them are shelling out literally thousands of dollars for a ring that their partner isn't paying for half of. For these guys it's like the sexual revolution never happened.

If your answer is 'yes, I totally would', is it because you don't consider yourself a feminist, or what?

My now husband spent $10,000 on my engagement ring. In return, I paid off his grad school debt for our first anniversary and signed over half of my assets, which were worth $195,000 at the time. He came out over $100,000 ahead by ponying up a proposal and ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a feminist guy, this is a deal-breaker for me and I feel pity and mystification for my guy friends when I hear about them doing it -- some of them are shelling out literally thousands of dollars for a ring that their partner isn't paying for half of. For these guys it's like the sexual revolution never happened.

If your answer is 'yes, I totally would', is it because you don't consider yourself a feminist, or what?

Are you young and/or poor? Not romantic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a feminist guy, this is a deal-breaker for me and I feel pity and mystification for my guy friends when I hear about them doing it -- some of them are shelling out literally thousands of dollars for a ring that their partner isn't paying for half of. For these guys it's like the sexual revolution never happened.

If your answer is 'yes, I totally would', is it because you don't consider yourself a feminist, or what?

I'm a woman, and I think shelling out thousands for jewelry is dumb. Unless you're Donald Trump rich, obviously. 50/50 is besides the point for me.

Exactly. If you think an engagement ring is an unreasonable expense, you're a poor.

Don't marry poor men. Don't marry selfish men who won't indulge you in a token of affection. Men don't become kinder and more generous over time.

Exactly. Marry a guy like Donald Trump. Kind and generous.

You have to be unthinkably poor to imagine several thousand dollars only becomes a token amount for literal billionaires. My husband bought my ring with a mid-year bonus.

So true.