Reply to Men: would you be willing to purchase an engagement ring for a woman?

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Reply to "Men: would you be willing to purchase an engagement ring for a woman?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH didn't want to buy me an engagement ring (I used a ring from my family) but he did ask me to use my money to buy "us" a car. Fast forward 20 years and we're divorcing, he wants to retire at age 56 and live off 1/2 of my pension, and he doesn't want to help more than a nominal amount with child support or the kids' colleges and grad schools.

Yeah, I should have known from the very beginning.  No use flaming me. The ring/car thing was a big red flag. (Well, everybody told me he was the "nice" one in the office and he's also good looking.)

Those of you who are still dating, learn from my mistakes. If you meet a guy like OP, check out the bigger picture. Check out his work ethic and his family's values.  Most important: Does he want *you* to be happy, even if that requires following possibly archaic conventions like rings? 
[/quote]

Your soon-to-be-ex husband sounds awful, but it also sounds like you're missing out on some basic logic. It wouldn't make sense to guess, based on his suggesting you spend your money on things that communally benefit both of you, that two decades later he's be going in the exact opposite direction by failing to meet your common obligations to your kids. If you were trying to read anything into it, it'd suggest he'd be awful by pushing you both to downsize massively to pay for what the kids need. But hey, tell yourself what you need to.[/quote]

I put "us" in quotes because he's the one who wanted to use my money for a new and unecessary car. Not me. My point was that he's always been about himself. FWIW, he *is* pushing me to downsize massively--because I want to help the kids with tuition and he doesn't much, so more money is going to come from me if the kids are to avoid massive student loan debt (they already take out small amounts) at the colleges they already attend.[/quote]

Oh, in that case yeah he sounds like a consistent piece of shit.[/quote]

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