airplane -- seats not together with 5 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the type of situation that money was invented for.

The upside value of the trade for the OP is greater than the downside value for the other person, since the OP is getting both a better seat and the chance to sit next to their kid, while the other person is getting a worse seat but not necessarily worse seatmates. So they should be able to come to a deal that fairly compensates the other person for the seat downgrade, while still giving OP a net gain from the trade.

+1. I'd bring a couple of hundred dollar bills, if I were you, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm very sympathetic to OPs problem, but I'm claustrophobic, and have to have an aisle seat. It's not that I haven't endured uncomfortable flights to accommodate passengers who haven't planned ahead. Once I spent an overnight flight from LA to DC hunched forward in my seat because the very tall man behind me needed lots of legroom. He had a peaceful night; I enjoyed a sleepless night. Not going to be that accommodating again - ever - but certainly willing to help out other passengers where I can. Just can't give up my long-reserved aisle seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to be prepared t split up. While I hope someone has sympathy and will help you out, you aren't entitled to seats together unless you book them that way. Next time, I'd call the airline directly or find another flight.

This is the response I expected on DCUM (not the other responses). It's the attitude I hear about more and more often when people talk about traveling. "It's not my responsibility to be put out because you couldn't be bothered to book your flight properly. Leave me alone. Also, make sure your child doesn't bother me." You can debate whether or not this attitude is justified, or practical, or why people take this approach (probably airline policies are driving it). I don't have any advice except to be ready for this.

But why should people who paid for seat choice and/or booked earlier bail you out because of your poor planning? Your issue is with the airlines, not passengers who have followed their stated policies.

I'm PP you quoted. I agree with you that passengers are pitted against each other, and that those who have desirable seats have multiple reasons not to want to give them up to a stranger at the last minute before takeoff. It's even worse than you described. Increasingly, "paying for seat choice and/or booking earlier" are options reserved for airlines' high status and frequent fliers. If the trend continues, OP and other families will need to choose an airline and fly it all the time, to guarantee seat choice options. Not everyone is in a position to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if someone tried to make me responsible for taking care of their child because they did not plan ahead to make sure they were seated with their minor -- I would do nothing for their child but ring the call button every time the child fussed or needed something. I would certainly not attend to their child myself, because someone that irresponsible and deluded would also probably be ridiculously and irrationally litigious.

Of course no one can "make you" take care of their child. Hell, I'd be perfectly happy to leave my 5 yo in a different seat so I could fly for 5 hours in peace. If you want to ring the call button every five minutes, that's fine with me too. I'm sure the flight attendant will manage to find a better seating arrangement in a hurry, in that case. The PPs saying "here's my kid's diaper bag, please giver her a bottle" don't actually expect anyone to DO that. They're just spelling out exactly what it means when you refuse to change seats. Of course you don't have to give a bottle or change a diaper, but you'll probably open your eyes and realize you're about to be sitting next to a screaming baby without its mother to comfort it for the next several hours. Maybe it's the airline's fault or maybe it's the mother's. Who knows? Sometimes your day just doesn't go as you planned and you have to suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if someone tried to make me responsible for taking care of their child because they did not plan ahead to make sure they were seated with their minor -- I would do nothing for their child but ring the call button every time the child fussed or needed something. I would certainly not attend to their child myself, because someone that irresponsible and deluded would also probably be ridiculously and irrationally litigious.

Of course no one can "make you" take care of their child. Hell, I'd be perfectly happy to leave my 5 yo in a different seat so I could fly for 5 hours in peace. If you want to ring the call button every five minutes, that's fine with me too. I'm sure the flight attendant will manage to find a better seating arrangement in a hurry, in that case. The PPs saying "here's my kid's diaper bag, please giver her a bottle" don't actually expect anyone to DO that. They're just spelling out exactly what it means when you refuse to change seats. Of course you don't have to give a bottle or change a diaper, but you'll probably open your eyes and realize you're about to be sitting next to a screaming baby without its mother to comfort it for the next several hours. Maybe it's the airline's fault or maybe it's the mother's. Who knows? Sometimes your day just doesn't go as you planned and you have to suck it up.

Yes, that's true. And if the kid is young enough to take a bottle, she is young enough to be a lap baby. It isn't the Mom's day - she just has to suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You all are assholes, and ones who clearly don't book plane tickets for themselves often.

The majority of US airlines DO NOT show all available seats when you book. They have a limited number 'available for reservation'. You can request a seat, but it's NOT guaranteed. Equipment changes, flights are overbooked, etc etc etc. As a frequent traveler with two young kids on my own, I've had seats changed on me when I went to check in. Confirmed 24 h in advance our seat assignment was XYZ, and then our boarding passes are issued for ABC.

So no, the OP is not self-centered, entitled, and whatever else you all are throwing at her for asking about what to do.

Someone will switch with you. The gate agent or flight attendant will help you figure it out. I just had to do this a couple days ago. On another recent trip, our 4 yo

If the rest of you are so worried about losing their precious aisle seats and *gasp* having to sit in the middle, why didn't YOU pay for first class so that wasn't a possibility?

Agree with this. I've had this happen to us a few times where we've chosen seats together and the plane has changed. It happens all the time. The gate agent usually can fix it. I have also given up an aisle seat to keep a family together many times. The worst was on an 11 hour flight from Addis Ababa. Let me tell you, that sucked, but it was the right thing to do.

We like to fly Southwest because the worst you'll ever get flying with kids is a B group, and you can always find 2 together. Also Southwest patrons usually seem friendlier in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if someone tried to make me responsible for taking care of their child because they did not plan ahead to make sure they were seated with their minor -- I would do nothing for their child but ring the call button every time the child fussed or needed something. I would certainly not attend to their child myself, because someone that irresponsible and deluded would also probably be ridiculously and irrationally litigious.

Of course no one can "make you" take care of their child. Hell, I'd be perfectly happy to leave my 5 yo in a different seat so I could fly for 5 hours in peace. If you want to ring the call button every five minutes, that's fine with me too. I'm sure the flight attendant will manage to find a better seating arrangement in a hurry, in that case. The PPs saying "here's my kid's diaper bag, please giver her a bottle" don't actually expect anyone to DO that. They're just spelling out exactly what it means when you refuse to change seats. Of course you don't have to give a bottle or change a diaper, but you'll probably open your eyes and realize you're about to be sitting next to a screaming baby without its mother to comfort it for the next several hours. Maybe it's the airline's fault or maybe it's the mother's. Who knows? Sometimes your day just doesn't go as you planned and you have to suck it up.

But what another poster was saying, is...I would show you my noise canceling headphones and let your child cry for 5 hours.

Also, after that 6 year old was molested when left alone for 3 minutes in a men's room I'm surprised so many of you helicopter moms would leave your children in the care of strangers. Enjoy your peaceful flight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the type of situation that money was invented for.

The upside value of the trade for the OP is greater than the downside value for the other person, since the OP is getting both a better seat and the chance to sit next to their kid, while the other person is getting a worse seat but not necessarily worse seatmates. So they should be able to come to a deal that fairly compensates the other person for the seat downgrade, while still giving OP a net gain from the trade.

+1. I'd bring a couple of hundred dollar bills, if I were you, OP.

Try $20s first, actually. No need to pay a ridiculous amount if you don't have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if someone tried to make me responsible for taking care of their child because they did not plan ahead to make sure they were seated with their minor -- I would do nothing for their child but ring the call button every time the child fussed or needed something. I would certainly not attend to their child myself, because someone that irresponsible and deluded would also probably be ridiculously and irrationally litigious.

Of course no one can "make you" take care of their child. Hell, I'd be perfectly happy to leave my 5 yo in a different seat so I could fly for 5 hours in peace. If you want to ring the call button every five minutes, that's fine with me too. I'm sure the flight attendant will manage to find a better seating arrangement in a hurry, in that case. The PPs saying "here's my kid's diaper bag, please giver her a bottle" don't actually expect anyone to DO that. They're just spelling out exactly what it means when you refuse to change seats. Of course you don't have to give a bottle or change a diaper, but you'll probably open your eyes and realize you're about to be sitting next to a screaming baby without its mother to comfort it for the next several hours. Maybe it's the airline's fault or maybe it's the mother's. Who knows? Sometimes your day just doesn't go as you planned and you have to suck it up.

But what another poster was saying, is...I would show you my noise canceling headphones and let your child cry for 5 hours.

Also, after that 6 year old was molested when left alone for 3 minutes in a men's room I'm surprised so many of you helicopter moms would leave your children in the care of strangers. Enjoy your peaceful flight.

Wow. Nobody is going to have a peaceful flight but you if you let a child cry next to you for hours and hours. Fortunately, airline travel with children makes it very, very obvious who the kind people are who are trying to help each other have as smooth a flight as possible. I only fly a few times a year but always try to find an opportunity to help someone out, whether they're elderly, handicapped or flying with small children. The airlines make travel so uncomfortable for everyone who's not business or VIPs. The rest of us need to stick together.

[Anonymous]

Wait - you have the option to NOT sit with your kids on a flight?! SIGN ME UP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if someone tried to make me responsible for taking care of their child because they did not plan ahead to make sure they were seated with their minor -- I would do nothing for their child but ring the call button every time the child fussed or needed something. I would certainly not attend to their child myself, because someone that irresponsible and deluded would also probably be ridiculously and irrationally litigious.

Of course no one can "make you" take care of their child. Hell, I'd be perfectly happy to leave my 5 yo in a different seat so I could fly for 5 hours in peace. If you want to ring the call button every five minutes, that's fine with me too. I'm sure the flight attendant will manage to find a better seating arrangement in a hurry, in that case. The PPs saying "here's my kid's diaper bag, please giver her a bottle" don't actually expect anyone to DO that. They're just spelling out exactly what it means when you refuse to change seats. Of course you don't have to give a bottle or change a diaper, but you'll probably open your eyes and realize you're about to be sitting next to a screaming baby without its mother to comfort it for the next several hours. Maybe it's the airline's fault or maybe it's the mother's. Who knows? Sometimes your day just doesn't go as you planned and you have to suck it up.

But what another poster was saying, is...I would show you my noise canceling headphones and let your child cry for 5 hours.

Also, after that 6 year old was molested when left alone for 3 minutes in a men's room I'm surprised so many of you helicopter moms would leave your children in the care of strangers. Enjoy your peaceful flight.

Wow. Nobody is going to have a peaceful flight but you if you let a child cry next to you for hours and hours. Fortunately, airline travel with children makes it very, very obvious who the kind people are who are trying to help each other have as smooth a flight as possible. I only fly a few times a year but always try to find an opportunity to help someone out, whether they're elderly, handicapped or flying with small children. The airlines make travel so uncomfortable for everyone who's not business or VIPs. The rest of us need to stick together.

I fly a lot. Monthly. I would say, 25% of the time someone is asking me to change my seat.

I'm taking a stand, here and now. This OP and her middle seat assholry was the last straw. No more! You've ruined it for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if someone tried to make me responsible for taking care of their child because they did not plan ahead to make sure they were seated with their minor -- I would do nothing for their child but ring the call button every time the child fussed or needed something. I would certainly not attend to their child myself, because someone that irresponsible and deluded would also probably be ridiculously and irrationally litigious.

Of course no one can "make you" take care of their child. Hell, I'd be perfectly happy to leave my 5 yo in a different seat so I could fly for 5 hours in peace. If you want to ring the call button every five minutes, that's fine with me too. I'm sure the flight attendant will manage to find a better seating arrangement in a hurry, in that case. The PPs saying "here's my kid's diaper bag, please giver her a bottle" don't actually expect anyone to DO that. They're just spelling out exactly what it means when you refuse to change seats. Of course you don't have to give a bottle or change a diaper, but you'll probably open your eyes and realize you're about to be sitting next to a screaming baby without its mother to comfort it for the next several hours. Maybe it's the airline's fault or maybe it's the mother's. Who knows? Sometimes your day just doesn't go as you planned and you have to suck it up.

But what another poster was saying, is...I would show you my noise canceling headphones and let your child cry for 5 hours.

Also, after that 6 year old was molested when left alone for 3 minutes in a men's room I'm surprised so many of you helicopter moms would leave your children in the care of strangers. Enjoy your peaceful flight.

Wow. Nobody is going to have a peaceful flight but you if you let a child cry next to you for hours and hours. Fortunately, airline travel with children makes it very, very obvious who the kind people are who are trying to help each other have as smooth a flight as possible. I only fly a few times a year but always try to find an opportunity to help someone out, whether they're elderly, handicapped or flying with small children. The airlines make travel so uncomfortable for everyone who's not business or VIPs. The rest of us need to stick together.

So you will happily give up your window or aisle seat for a middle seat on a cross-country flight?

[Anonymous]

I think it would be really helpful if airlines had policies about this. At what age is it acceptable for a child to be alone in flight? At what ages is it necessary for a parent to be sitting next to a child?

I am trying to use the rule of thumb that because children are permitted to fly unaccompanied at age 5, they are probably also okay to sit in a seat by themselves at that age if necessary. Some kids (including mine) would think this was amazing and would jump at the chance to be so grown up. Others would be less keen.

That said, airlines set aside seats for all kinds of reasons - regular seats so not the Economy Plus or whatever sections that are specially designed to have more leg room. The decision to charge more for window/aisle seats is fairly new. If they can set those seats aside and not release them to lower fare classes until later, they can set aside certain parts of the plane for people traveling with children under the age limit (whether it's 5 or 10 or whatever).

[Anonymous]

How about airlines set an age limit on when child can fly without sitting next to parent? Then if kids are under that age and no seats are available together, airlines will not let parents book that flight. Please do not book separate seats and expect other passengers to accomodate your needs. What if passengers seated next to you or child have a lap child? They surely will not switch their aisle for a middle seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if someone tried to make me responsible for taking care of their child because they did not plan ahead to make sure they were seated with their minor -- I would do nothing for their child but ring the call button every time the child fussed or needed something. I would certainly not attend to their child myself, because someone that irresponsible and deluded would also probably be ridiculously and irrationally litigious.

Of course no one can "make you" take care of their child. Hell, I'd be perfectly happy to leave my 5 yo in a different seat so I could fly for 5 hours in peace. If you want to ring the call button every five minutes, that's fine with me too. I'm sure the flight attendant will manage to find a better seating arrangement in a hurry, in that case. The PPs saying "here's my kid's diaper bag, please giver her a bottle" don't actually expect anyone to DO that. They're just spelling out exactly what it means when you refuse to change seats. Of course you don't have to give a bottle or change a diaper, but you'll probably open your eyes and realize you're about to be sitting next to a screaming baby without its mother to comfort it for the next several hours. Maybe it's the airline's fault or maybe it's the mother's. Who knows? Sometimes your day just doesn't go as you planned and you have to suck it up.

But what another poster was saying, is...I would show you my noise canceling headphones and let your child cry for 5 hours.

Also, after that 6 year old was molested when left alone for 3 minutes in a men's room I'm surprised so many of you helicopter moms would leave your children in the care of strangers. Enjoy your peaceful flight.

Wow. Nobody is going to have a peaceful flight but you if you let a child cry next to you for hours and hours. Fortunately, airline travel with children makes it very, very obvious who the kind people are who are trying to help each other have as smooth a flight as possible. I only fly a few times a year but always try to find an opportunity to help someone out, whether they're elderly, handicapped or flying with small children. The airlines make travel so uncomfortable for everyone who's not business or VIPs. The rest of us need to stick together.

So you will happily give up your window or aisle seat for a middle seat on a cross-country flight?

Happily? I wouldn't go THAT far, but yes, I posted earlier. Eleven hours was the longest flight I've switched from aisle to middle. On that flight I wound up sitting next to a helicopter mechanic who was flying home from Djibouti and he was very interesting to talk to. I find that things tend to work out better when I act out of kindness and decency versus continually trying to fight what's rightfully mine. Your mileage may vary, obviously.