What is the craziest thing you have been told at an IEP meeting?

[Anonymous]

Oh, that reminds me! I had an elementary principal tell me at an IEP meeting that she had two grandchildren who she "watched like a hawk for any signs of delay" and "THANK GOD! they are "normal" so far." Everyone else at the table looked appalled.

[Anonymous]

An OT at a recent IEP meeting, where we disclosed an autism diagnosis: "i just don't see it. I mean she doesn't flap her arms and she talks a lot"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An OT at a recent IEP meeting, where we disclosed an autism diagnosis: "i just don't see it. I mean she doesn't flap her arms and she talks a lot"[/quote]


Shameful ignorance. We encountered the same at our private. They just didn't want to teach/see/or deal with the issue notwithstanding test results, psychiatrist's reports, etc. Ignorance can be very cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An OT at a recent IEP meeting, where we disclosed an autism diagnosis: "i just don't see it. I mean she doesn't flap her arms and she talks a lot"[/quote]


Shameful ignorance. We encountered the same at our private. They just didn't want to teach/see/or deal with the issue notwithstanding test results, psychiatrist's reports, etc. Ignorance can be very cruel.

[Anonymous]

My favorite was the Special Needs head at our local public high school who could not get through a single meeting without bragging on about her brilliant daughter the pediatrician. And she does it to all the parents at every meeting. Her attitude was, "I'm in this just marking time until I can retire." Horrible,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed. Very sorry for family who went through this. I hope your DS wasn't in the room.

Anonymous wrote:<<The special education teacher, the primary teacher and OT decided to imitate my DS's stim in over exaggerated way to defend a bully during first IEP meeting in a new elementary school. I know my DS's stim. It's harmless stim when he is super excited and he had done it for years and most people don't even notice it. No one had ever imitated him, not even his peers. I was too shocked to say anything. >>

I actually think this is the worst thing that i have seen on this thread....

+1. This is horrible and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Kuddos to you for not punching all three of them!

[Anonymous]

I am stunned that I am not the only one dealing with this.
My top comments were:
-your DD fails the hearing test everyday what are you going to do about it? From the audiologist during the IEP meeting. She had been deaf her whole life.
-I know you have 3 outside evaluations (from the top docs by the way) but those are medical diagnosis of autism, not educational. Your son's IQ is way to high to be autistic. Though we were meeting becuase he was failing all of his subjects except history.
-your daughter maybe bullied and had her arm broken at school by a bully, but she just isn't likable. She has asperger's and is in desperate need of social skills group but wouldn't be allowed because they couldn't get along.
-and of course... the medicine comment. It is pointless to do an IEP if you aren't going to put your son on medicine. Even though all the medical doctors said his ADHD wasn't the problem it was the autism.

[Anonymous]

Really someone needs to write an expose about all these supposed professionals! Very shocking!

These didn't happen at IEP meetings, but other unprofessional behavior:

1) Science teacher told me my ADD child "seems to be missing a connection in their brain". Ha. I had to explain how working memory and attention disorders can appear this way.
( this teacher had a doctorate in her specialty, BTW).

2) Guidance counselor who never closes the door for meetings. I always have to get up and say "for confidentiality reasons, I am going to close the door" He just looks at me like
I am crazy.

3) Teacher says about ADD child: " so your child just doesn't like _____________ (subject being discussed).

These were all at a supposedly highly regarded public school system.

[Anonymous]

2) Even though your child has had THREE (THREE!!!) private neuro-psych evaluations by top doctors over the last 6 years...and even though doctors 1,2 and 3 have said otherwise....and even though no other IEP team at any of your child's other schools agree with our "opinion", we think your kid is on the spectrum.... And by the way, you know you really didn't need to get those private evaluations as we could have done it FOR FREE!!

This has been our experience in FCPS except we had FOUR private evaluations in 6 years including 2 through ASD research studies from NIH - DS consistently did not meet the criteria for ASD. Yet, year after year, the school team pushed ASD for the eligibility category. The last year they said DS 'might' not have medical ASD but that he had 'educational' ASD. WTF? He has a medical diagnosis of communication disorder. He has a medical diagnosis of ADHD. He has had LD diagnoses since he was 5. Stop with the ASD already!

[Anonymous]

"Children don't stand up in first grade."

-- In response to my request that my disabled daughter spend 45 minutes a day in her prone stander, rather than her wheelchair.

OMG! The absurdity of this makes it funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

2) Even though your child has had THREE (THREE!!!) private neuro-psych evaluations by top doctors over the last 6 years...and even though doctors 1,2 and 3 have said otherwise....and even though no other IEP team at any of your child's other schools agree with our "opinion", we think your kid is on the spectrum.... And by the way, you know you really didn't need to get those private evaluations as we could have done it FOR FREE!!

This has been our experience in FCPS except we had FOUR private evaluations in 6 years including 2 through ASD research studies from NIH - DS consistently did not meet the criteria for ASD. Yet, year after year, the school team pushed ASD for the eligibility category. The last year they said DS 'might' not have medical ASD but that he had 'educational' ASD. WTF? He has a medical diagnosis of communication disorder. He has a medical diagnosis of ADHD. He has had LD diagnoses since he was 5. Stop with the ASD already!

The definition of ASD that is included in IDEA (i.e. "educational autism") is substantially different and broader than the definition in the DSM-V ("medical autism"). Part of this is because the definition hasn't changed, and part of it is that IDEA only has 14 disability categories, while the DSM V has 297.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

2) Even though your child has had THREE (THREE!!!) private neuro-psych evaluations by top doctors over the last 6 years...and even though doctors 1,2 and 3 have said otherwise....and even though no other IEP team at any of your child's other schools agree with our "opinion", we think your kid is on the spectrum.... And by the way, you know you really didn't need to get those private evaluations as we could have done it FOR FREE!!

This has been our experience in FCPS except we had FOUR private evaluations in 6 years including 2 through ASD research studies from NIH - DS consistently did not meet the criteria for ASD. Yet, year after year, the school team pushed ASD for the eligibility category. The last year they said DS 'might' not have medical ASD but that he had 'educational' ASD. WTF? He has a medical diagnosis of communication disorder. He has a medical diagnosis of ADHD. He has had LD diagnoses since he was 5. Stop with the ASD already!

The definition of ASD that is included in IDEA (i.e. "educational autism") is substantially different and broader than the definition in the DSM-V ("medical autism"). Part of this is because the definition hasn't changed, and part of it is that IDEA only has 14 disability categories, while the DSM V has 297.

Which of course drives the whole "autism epidemic" fallacy.

[Anonymous]

From a DCPS speech therapist: "I can tell from your wedding ring that you can afford private therapy. IEPs in DC are for the poor children in the city." With the entire team sitting there. No one said anything.

Good news is that once reported to downtown we basically had a pick of any school in the city for our child. Last I checked that speech therapist was still working at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

2) Even though your child has had THREE (THREE!!!) private neuro-psych evaluations by top doctors over the last 6 years...and even though doctors 1,2 and 3 have said otherwise....and even though no other IEP team at any of your child's other schools agree with our "opinion", we think your kid is on the spectrum.... And by the way, you know you really didn't need to get those private evaluations as we could have done it FOR FREE!!

This has been our experience in FCPS except we had FOUR private evaluations in 6 years including 2 through ASD research studies from NIH - DS consistently did not meet the criteria for ASD. Yet, year after year, the school team pushed ASD for the eligibility category. The last year they said DS 'might' not have medical ASD but that he had 'educational' ASD. WTF? He has a medical diagnosis of communication disorder. He has a medical diagnosis of ADHD. He has had LD diagnoses since he was 5. Stop with the ASD already!

Exactly! I am the PP with the 3 evaluations! Our private psych told us that she has had to go into numerous MCPS's to try to explain to the ignorant SpEd teams that there is a difference between communication disorder and ASD!

Our DS has a DX of severe ADHD, not even any LDs - which surprised us. The IEP team was just flabbergasted and one of the teachers had the nerve to actually walk out of the meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

2) Even though your child has had THREE (THREE!!!) private neuro-psych evaluations by top doctors over the last 6 years...and even though doctors 1,2 and 3 have said otherwise....and even though no other IEP team at any of your child's other schools agree with our "opinion", we think your kid is on the spectrum.... And by the way, you know you really didn't need to get those private evaluations as we could have done it FOR FREE!!

This has been our experience in FCPS except we had FOUR private evaluations in 6 years including 2 through ASD research studies from NIH - DS consistently did not meet the criteria for ASD. Yet, year after year, the school team pushed ASD for the eligibility category. The last year they said DS 'might' not have medical ASD but that he had 'educational' ASD. WTF? He has a medical diagnosis of communication disorder. He has a medical diagnosis of ADHD. He has had LD diagnoses since he was 5. Stop with the ASD already!

Exactly! I am the PP with the 3 evaluations! Our private psych told us that she has had to go into numerous MCPS's to try to explain to the ignorant SpEd teams that there is a difference between communication disorder and ASD!

Our DS has a DX of severe ADHD, not even any LDs - which surprised us. The IEP team was just flabbergasted and one of the teachers had the nerve to actually walk out of the meeting.

There seems to be a big push in public school systems to over identify kids with ASD vs. supporting kids with ADHD. We have the same issues in MCPS. School administrators and staff have reasons for these preferences that has nothing to do with your child's particular disability or needs.

What were the teams recommendations for services based on their assumption of ASD? Would your private specialists consider the services appropriate for your child? In the end, if the services are what your child needs and a wrong label gets your child those services then I wouldn't fight the system. However, if the services are inappropriate and they just want to dump your child in a program because it is there and the program is not the least restrictive environment, then I would fight even if it meant filing for Due Process.