Is the SWS waitlist moving for Pk3?

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the flexible work schedule parents and someone who has been volunteering heavily at the school for several years now.

In terms of the 'cliquishness, 'I don't think of it in terms of 'popularity' or SAH vs WOH Rather for me, it has to do with politeness and kindness. For example, making room in a conversation for a someone; greeting someone; initiating conversation with someone, having welcoming body language, talking with a variety of people at classroom celebrations instead of the same 3-4, etc.

I'm surprised that after all these years, I do still feel on the 'outside'; some of it has to do with what another poster said about if you differ about what support means or best for kids, etc. Some of it has to do with maybe I just don't have a lot in common with the other parents. Or maybe I'm just a big stick in the mud and no fun to be around. Any way you slice it, I think a lot of it can be remedied with some courtesy and politeness.

[Anonymous]

Do you experience this regularly in life PP, or do you think something about SWS in particular is making this dynamic worse? In other words, would you feel the same way at Brent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you experience this regularly in life PP, or do you think something about SWS in particular is making this dynamic worse? In other words, would you feel the same way at Brent?

Since we have completely derailed this thread, I don't feel too bad to strike this match. Last night at a private school parents night, a bunch of departing/former Brent parents were openly laughing at the Brent crazy-mommies, mostly in the lower grades. I'm one of the earlier SWS WOHM mom posters, so I don't have direct experience. But it is pretty telling that in a private school parents are mocking the uppity attitudes of a Hill ES.

[Anonymous]

If you're talking about private school parents making fun of public school parents, I'm not sure you're making the point you intend to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're talking about private school parents making fun of public school parents, I'm not sure you're making the point you intend to make.

I'm talking about private school parents talking about escaping the perceived snootiness of Brent. That seems backwards to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the flexible work schedule parents and someone who has been volunteering heavily at the school for several years now.

In terms of the 'cliquishness, 'I don't think of it in terms of 'popularity' or SAH vs WOH Rather for me, it has to do with politeness and kindness. For example, making room in a conversation for a someone; greeting someone; initiating conversation with someone, having welcoming body language, talking with a variety of people at classroom celebrations instead of the same 3-4, etc.

I'm surprised that after all these years, I do still feel on the 'outside'; some of it has to do with what another poster said about if you differ about what support means or best for kids, etc. Some of it has to do with maybe I just don't have a lot in common with the other parents. Or maybe I'm just a big stick in the mud and no fun to be around. Any way you slice it, I think a lot of it can be remedied with some courtesy and politeness.

I posted pages back about getting a cliquey vibe at the open house. I won't go into detail, but the bolded describes exactly why I felt that way about my visit.

[Anonymous]

Jesus ladies are we rushing a sorority or taking our kids to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the flexible work schedule parents and someone who has been volunteering heavily at the school for several years now.

In terms of the 'cliquishness, 'I don't think of it in terms of 'popularity' or SAH vs WOH Rather for me, it has to do with politeness and kindness. For example, making room in a conversation for a someone; greeting someone; initiating conversation with someone, having welcoming body language, talking with a variety of people at classroom celebrations instead of the same 3-4, etc.

I'm surprised that after all these years, I do still feel on the 'outside'; some of it has to do with what another poster said about if you differ about what support means or best for kids, etc. Some of it has to do with maybe I just don't have a lot in common with the other parents. Or maybe I'm just a big stick in the mud and no fun to be around. Any way you slice it, I think a lot of it can be remedied with some courtesy and politeness.

Right, it is not SAH vs WOH per se. Some SAH parents have cliquey personalities, and some don't. Some WOH parents have cliquey personalities, while some don't. But for cliques to form, you need to have people with those sorts of tendencies, and the opportunity to form the cliques. Since the WOH parents are typically at school less, they have less opportunity to form the cliques, so it therefore tends to be the SAH parents in the cliques. I would imagine this is the case at most schools. A school like SWS has more SAH or very PT/flexible parents than other Hill schools seem to, for some reason (just from my anecdotal experience, and I think 40-50% is probably about right). So there are going to be more cliques. And because more school management functions are delegated to parents than at most schools, the cliques can be more powerful. Also, generally, there seems to be the default assumption that everyone has a SAH parent. For example, teachers will ask students what they did with their families during days off of school or vacations, not understanding that many children with working parents were at camps or daycare or something else on the days off. I find it sort of off-putting, but so far my kids have not complained about my work schedule or asked me to be at school more, so I don't worry about it. So I think it is fair for working parents who are considering SWS to consider this, especially if neither parent has a flexible schedule. For most I imagine it would not be a deal-breaker, given the other wonderful things SWS has to offer, but it is a factor to consider. I think there are some very nice parents at SWS, both SAH and WOH. That said, I don't feel like these parents like to hear anything remotely negative about the school, which can make someone who doesn't feel like an "insider" uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

^. Tough to maintain empathy here. You paint a funny picture: all the fellow PK4 kids -gasping- when junior says he was in camp on his day off (NO ONE gives a crap, we all hope he had a great time) and a bunch of SAHMs sniggering behind your back. Really? I feel like there's a lot of insecurity and self-fulfilling prophecy in this thread.

Also, no issues with you highlighting issues at the school, which are many, as it's growing and brand new, but appreciate if you do it IN PERSON and extra credit for bringing a solution along with you. Anonymously accusing your fellow parents of being a bunch of snooty/cliquey people though, and that's your only beef worth the school? Why don't you just say hello and get out of your own head for a few minutes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the flexible work schedule parents and someone who has been volunteering heavily at the school for several years now.

In terms of the 'cliquishness, 'I don't think of it in terms of 'popularity' or SAH vs WOH Rather for me, it has to do with politeness and kindness. For example, making room in a conversation for a someone; greeting someone; initiating conversation with someone, having welcoming body language, talking with a variety of people at classroom celebrations instead of the same 3-4, etc.

I'm surprised that after all these years, I do still feel on the 'outside'; some of it has to do with what another poster said about if you differ about what support means or best for kids, etc. Some of it has to do with maybe I just don't have a lot in common with the other parents. Or maybe I'm just a big stick in the mud and no fun to be around. Any way you slice it, I think a lot of it can be remedied with some courtesy and politeness.

This exactly. I have actually greeted, smiled at fellow parents as we go in and out and have been ignored or else they look through me--multiple people multiple times men and women. Friends at the school who don't fit the norm describe the same thing. There is a indeed a lack of common courtesy thing. And I have been at multiple schools and never had this happen before. People are terribly wrapped up in themselves sometimes. So much they can't spare a hello.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to have sympathy for you all when you're in a lottery-only school that so many people would kill to get their kids into.

Although I hate cliquey people, so I'm torn.

[Anonymous]

No one really asked for sympathy. Pp's were asked for more details and gave them. Pp's have also said that the adult social stuff is not that big a deal and doesn't bother them that much but it IS an aspect of the school they notice.

So no sympathy asked for or needed

[Anonymous]

Well, I don't know how many PPs are actually complaining of this phenomenon but I don't get it. At all. I feel nothing but warm fuzzies when I walk in that school - from teachers, admin, and parents. if SWS isn't getting it right I'm not sure anyone can. I've established some great relationships that I hope to keep for many years at this school. My experience has been opposite to what PPs are detailing. Almost everyone I've gotten to know seems thoughtful and genuine, even in their disagreements.

Is this a dynamic of the parents being instrumental in building the school? Is it a temporary dynamic? Trying not to be legitimately bummed out about this thread but It stings a bit. Do you really feel this way PPs? Like you're not welcome? Is there no way what you're experiencing is just harried DC parenting? Is there no way that you're reding more into it than you should?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^. Tough to maintain empathy here. You paint a funny picture: all the fellow PK4 kids -gasping- when junior says he was in camp on his day off (NO ONE gives a crap, we all hope he had a great time) and a bunch of SAHMs sniggering behind your back. Really? I feel like there's a lot of insecurity and self-fulfilling prophecy in this thread.

Also, no issues with you highlighting issues at the school, which are many, as it's growing and brand new, but appreciate if you do it IN PERSON and extra credit for bringing a solution along with you. Anonymously accusing your fellow parents of being a bunch of snooty/cliquey people though, and that's your only beef worth the school? Why don't you just say hello and get out of your own head for a few minutes?

I'm a WOH defender of SWS who posted earlier in this thread but I have to say you sound mean and unfair, not the PP. Bring this up at school? How, exactly? To the people she finds standoffish? Also, you are misreading her post. She said that there is an expectation from some teachers, or a sort of school-cultural expectation, that kids have a parent at home. She said specifically that her kids don't seem bothered by it, but as another WOH SWS parent, I think it is a completely fair observation.

[Anonymous]

So you're telling me that Ms. R, The Atelierista, and John Burst EXPECT that you or your DH stay at home? Gotta call BS now.