Middle class African American DCUMers, where are you living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP is still hanging around, I'll point out that I got a similar "THAT'S RACIST" response when asking about an inclusive, welcoming, swim club this summer.

Ignore them. You and I both know that having our kids be the "onlies" is only something minorities (or those raising minority kids) are expected to put up with. We're supposed to be so grateful that folks let us into their communities that we ignore the weirdness, the hair touching, and the shock when our kids speak standard English or get into the gifted program on their own merit.

I'd look at close-in Silver Spring and Takoma Park in MoCo. We know lots of middle class AA families as well as interracial families and families with trans-racial and trans-national adoptees in those neighborhoods.

OP here,

And yes, I remember reading that thread, and shaking my head at the sheer audacity. I pay exactly zero attention to the racist posters here, and their opinions on how Black people should live, think, feel, etc. I took the recommendations of Black people and posters with Black spouses/children seriously, and others who also sought out diverse neighborhoods for whatever reasons. I lived in an affluent, predominantly white neighborhood once, and you could not pay me to raise my children in that environment.

We had the rare opportunity to live in temporary housing in Bethesda before buying, and I liked Silver Spring well enough, but my husband did not, and did not want to live anywhere in that area. We like living in the far out burbs and we like the social and class make up of our community. He doesn't mind his commute, which was my main concern. My kid is thriving in school. We're good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is still hanging around, I'll point out that I got a similar "THAT'S RACIST" response when asking about an inclusive, welcoming, swim club this summer.

Ignore them. You and I both know that having our kids be the "onlies" is only something minorities (or those raising minority kids) are expected to put up with. We're supposed to be so grateful that folks let us into their communities that we ignore the weirdness, the hair touching, and the shock when our kids speak standard English or get into the gifted program on their own merit.

I'd look at close-in Silver Spring and Takoma Park in MoCo. We know lots of middle class AA families as well as interracial families and families with trans-racial and trans-national adoptees in those neighborhoods.

OP here,

And yes, I remember reading that thread, and shaking my head at the sheer audacity. I pay exactly zero attention to the racist posters here, and their opinions on how Black people should live, think, feel, etc. I took the recommendations of Black people and posters with Black spouses/children seriously, and others who also sought out diverse neighborhoods for whatever reasons. I lived in an affluent, predominantly white neighborhood once, and you could not pay me to raise my children in that environment.

We had the rare opportunity to live in temporary housing in Bethesda before buying, and I liked Silver Spring well enough, but my husband did not, and did not want to live anywhere in that area. We like living in the far out burbs and we like the social and class make up of our community. He doesn't mind his commute, which was my main concern. My kid is thriving in school. We're good.

Awesome. I think I missed how OLD this thread was when I commented. I'm glad you are settled and happy. Having grown up in the countryside myself, I was looking for something urban with a short commute, hence the TP/SS suggestion. But, I'm glad you found something that works for your family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP is still hanging around, I'll point out that I got a similar "THAT'S RACIST" response when asking about an inclusive, welcoming, swim club this summer.

Ignore them. You and I both know that having our kids be the "onlies" is only something minorities (or those raising minority kids) are expected to put up with. We're supposed to be so grateful that folks let us into their communities that we ignore the weirdness, the hair touching, and the shock when our kids speak standard English or get into the gifted program on their own merit.

I'd look at close-in Silver Spring and Takoma Park in MoCo. We know lots of middle class AA families as well as interracial families and families with trans-racial and trans-national adoptees in those neighborhoods.

Meanwhile these are the same people who meticulously analyze school lunch and rankings to make sure there is an a maximum level of brown kids, all under the guise of 'best schools for little Johnny and avoiding children w/behavioral problems which will hinder our little angel's chances of going to Harvard' and who talk about 'well so and so area isn't diverse, it's just full of black people when I get off the metro.'

Anyway--OP I know middle class black people who live in Hyattsville, College Park, Greenbelt, Silver Spring, University Park, Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Bowie, Laurel, all over DC [less in upper upper Northwest] and some parts of VA. I have lived in DC, MD, and Virginia.

[Anonymous]

I'm in NoVA. Alexandria City, to be exact.

[Anonymous]

PWC.

[Anonymous]

Silver Spring and Rockville are great places to live no matter what race you are

Good schools and decent house prices

[Anonymous]

I'm AA and we live in Arlington. I was concerned about diversity within the schools and with my neighborhood. What we decided and what helped ease my concerns was to create my own community. I seek out cultural events, sign my kids up for activities that expose them to all sorts of experiences, and we travel. I want them to see that outside of their school walls there is a whole other world that they are welcome to take part. I only have the answer that works best for my family and I hope everyone does the same. -AA mom who was terrified but not no 'mo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Silver Spring and Rockville are great places to live no matter what race you are

Good schools and decent house prices

I agree, I also want to add Burtonsville to that list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where in the world is it a law you must be friendly. You are only required to be civil. even in an all XXXX neighborhood, friendly is not required. this is a civil society

There's no law. Heck there isn't even an unwritten rule that you have to be even civil to your neighbors. But my post was explaining why some people don't want to move into a neighborhood where they are the distinct minority in the neighborhood. This is why people want to have at least a significant minority of people of their race before they consider living in such neighborhoods. I'm Asian. I don't want to be the only Asian family or one of two Asian families in a neighborhood of 50-300 homes. I can certainly understand black families who don't want to do the same. As difficult as it is being Asian in a white society, it's far harder to be black in a white society. I suspect that most of you who are criticizing OP for wanting diversity in any neighborhood she considers have never lived in an area where you are the minority. Your white privilege and majority attitude are shining bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in the world is it a law you must be friendly. You are only required to be civil. even in an all XXXX neighborhood, friendly is not required. this is a civil society

There's no law. Heck there isn't even an unwritten rule that you have to be even civil to your neighbors. But my post was explaining why some people don't want to move into a neighborhood where they are the distinct minority in the neighborhood. This is why people want to have at least a significant minority of people of their race before they consider living in such neighborhoods. I'm Asian. I don't want to be the only Asian family or one of two Asian families in a neighborhood of 50-300 homes. I can certainly understand black families who don't want to do the same. As difficult as it is being Asian in a white society, it's far harder to be black in a white society. I suspect that most of you who are criticizing OP for wanting diversity in any neighborhood she considers have never lived in an area where you are the minority. Your white privilege and majority attitude are shining bright.

NP, AA here. I like you so much PP. I hope you are one of my neighbors. You are an awesome person and you just get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in the world is it a law you must be friendly. You are only required to be civil. even in an all XXXX neighborhood, friendly is not required. this is a civil society

There's no law. Heck there isn't even an unwritten rule that you have to be even civil to your neighbors. But my post was explaining why some people don't want to move into a neighborhood where they are the distinct minority in the neighborhood. This is why people want to have at least a significant minority of people of their race before they consider living in such neighborhoods. I'm Asian. I don't want to be the only Asian family or one of two Asian families in a neighborhood of 50-300 homes. I can certainly understand black families who don't want to do the same. As difficult as it is being Asian in a white society, it's far harder to be black in a white society. I suspect that most of you who are criticizing OP for wanting diversity in any neighborhood she considers have never lived in an area where you are the minority. Your white privilege and majority attitude are shining bright.

OP here, this post is awesome. Thanks for educating these posters PP.

Unbelievable that wanting diversity is sneered at and mocked. Only on DCUM, by the same people who routinely trash "flyover" states for not having enough "culture".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in the world is it a law you must be friendly. You are only required to be civil. even in an all XXXX neighborhood, friendly is not required. this is a civil society

There's no law. Heck there isn't even an unwritten rule that you have to be even civil to your neighbors. But my post was explaining why some people don't want to move into a neighborhood where they are the distinct minority in the neighborhood. This is why people want to have at least a significant minority of people of their race before they consider living in such neighborhoods. I'm Asian. I don't want to be the only Asian family or one of two Asian families in a neighborhood of 50-300 homes. I can certainly understand black families who don't want to do the same. As difficult as it is being Asian in a white society, it's far harder to be black in a white society. I suspect that most of you who are criticizing OP for wanting diversity in any neighborhood she considers have never lived in an area where you are the minority. Your white privilege and majority attitude are shining bright.

You'd be wrong in that I'm AA. I live where I want and how I want to live. I don't let anyone dictate that. You all keep on with the feeling a sense of community must mean everyone looks the same. Way to be progressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in the world is it a law you must be friendly. You are only required to be civil. even in an all XXXX neighborhood, friendly is not required. this is a civil society

There's no law. Heck there isn't even an unwritten rule that you have to be even civil to your neighbors. But my post was explaining why some people don't want to move into a neighborhood where they are the distinct minority in the neighborhood. This is why people want to have at least a significant minority of people of their race before they consider living in such neighborhoods. I'm Asian. I don't want to be the only Asian family or one of two Asian families in a neighborhood of 50-300 homes. I can certainly understand black families who don't want to do the same. As difficult as it is being Asian in a white society, it's far harder to be black in a white society. I suspect that most of you who are criticizing OP for wanting diversity in any neighborhood she considers have never lived in an area where you are the minority. Your white privilege and majority attitude are shining bright.

You'd be wrong in that I'm AA. I live where I want and how I want to live. I don't let anyone dictate that. You all keep on with the feeling a sense of community must mean everyone looks the same. Way to be progressive.

I'm AA. You are the exception not the rule. I imagine you're the exception in any race. Congrats you don't see color, others do and will. Hope your kids are prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in the world is it a law you must be friendly. You are only required to be civil. even in an all XXXX neighborhood, friendly is not required. this is a civil society

There's no law. Heck there isn't even an unwritten rule that you have to be even civil to your neighbors. But my post was explaining why some people don't want to move into a neighborhood where they are the distinct minority in the neighborhood. This is why people want to have at least a significant minority of people of their race before they consider living in such neighborhoods. I'm Asian. I don't want to be the only Asian family or one of two Asian families in a neighborhood of 50-300 homes. I can certainly understand black families who don't want to do the same. As difficult as it is being Asian in a white society, it's far harder to be black in a white society. I suspect that most of you who are criticizing OP for wanting diversity in any neighborhood she considers have never lived in an area where you are the minority. Your white privilege and majority attitude are shining bright.

You'd be wrong in that I'm AA. I live where I want and how I want to live. I don't let anyone dictate that. You all keep on with the feeling a sense of community must mean everyone looks the same. Way to be progressive.

NP. I don't think that wanting to feel comfortable in the community is the same thing as wanting everyone to look alike. I don't think it even has to mean that a person is not in the minority. Just that they're not in the EXTREME minority, like their kid being the only one or two AAs in the class.

[Anonymous]

This is why we AAs choose to live in MD. I'd rather live in MoCo than Fairfax County as an AA.