Free-range parents cited but not charged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It amazes me how uptight parents can be. Social media and 24hr hyped-up news really have done their jobs of making you all paranoid. I walked 2 blocks to a school bus stop by myself until I met up with others starting in K. There was never a mom at a bus stop after the first day. Ever! It was no big deal because we all played outside on our own already. Today every mom/nanny is at the bus stop and many even drive to the bus stops. Now if I let my 7yr old walk home the 8 houses alone, I look like a negligent mom.

Another thing that has changed is parents working longer hours and many people not knowing and not having friendly relationships with their neighbors. It's different when you don't know the people 2 doors down -- which you usually did when I was coming up and I am 48.

We know everyone in our neighborhood, as do our kids. They know where to go if they need help.

Silver Spring 20910

That is lovely -- I live in SS too and know a lot of our neighbors but I know a lot of people around the DMV that do not know a lot their neighbors. Geez Christmas -- not everyone's experience is the same. And, yes, a lot of things about how people relate to their neighbors, how many kids you see running around outside after school, yes they have changed since 1974. I was just denoting that things have changed a lot, was not saying at what age kids should be allowed to be unsupervised.
sheesh

I'm the Silver Spring 20910 PP. DH and I work full-time but we know our neighbors from school; church; the swim club/pool; soccer teams; moms' group (a long time ago now); the annual neighborhood block party; the listserv. The list goes on and on. I don't know every last neighbor for blocks around, but I could walk the neighborhood for an hour and give you information about (and stop and chat with) people on every street, easily. When my mom died a few years ago, many neighbors brought food and sent condolence notes. And I am not from this area!

Not everyone's suburban 2015 experience is the same.

Isn't that what I said? Isn't that what I told you, that while some people know all their neighbors , some folks do not?
Wasn't that my point? Some people do not live in neighborhoods where they know a lot of families and are comfortable with their kid walking too far from their house. I know a social worker that lives in a small town where everyone knows just about everyone else. And guess what, a lot of those families are plagues with child sexual abuse. It's crazy!!! And it is not the paranoid media at fault. That is a real problem, not the law saying your kid cannot supervise your 6 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighborhood is a ghost town. There are never kids out playing. They are all in after-care or structured activities every freaking day.

Weekends should be parents mowing/gardening/socializing while kids play, ride bikes, use their imaginations and get super dirty. Now parents think it is normal to pay other people to do the mowing/gardening so they can spend more money being a chauffeur for a zillion activities including "invite everyone to an impersonal birthday party 20min away" and "year round club sports that are a must for getting into college." And lets not forget all the tutors, piano lessons, day camps, sat prep courses and so forth. I feel bad for all of our kids. They know little independence and have no freedom to use their brains, imagination and critical thinking skills. It just seems like from birth the goal is to mold them into someone ready for college and adulthood. And we wonder why teen suicides are on the rise. They can not handle criticisms, they don't want to be held accountable for anything, they were groomed to believe they were perfect. They have zero interpersonal skills and street smarts and are little balls of stress. It sucks.

You have zero idea what those kids are doing much of the time. For example, my kids have heavy extra curricular activities...but: are up early daily and play for two hours before school (Lego building, forts, art, read, hide and seek). My kids typically go on bike rides numerous times per week, play outside 5+ days a week! have play dates, and have lots of downtime. We cut out all screen time on most days and that freed up lots of time. My kids also do well in school AND in their various teams because of the work they put into them.

I think your defensive post just showed that you are over-scheduled. Exhausted just reading it.

[Anonymous]

I am genuinely curious where people who say that they were crossing streets and leaving the boundaries of their block alone at age 6 grew up. I grew up in a more suburban part of Brooklyn, and this definitely didn't happen. DH grew up in suburban Chicago, and he says kids didn't do that at 6 in his neighborhood either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am genuinely curious where people who say that they were crossing streets and leaving the boundaries of their block alone at age 6 grew up. I grew up in a more suburban part of Brooklyn, and this definitely didn't happen. DH grew up in suburban Chicago, and he says kids didn't do that at 6 in his neighborhood either.

I think that the more important question is when, not where. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It amazes me how uptight parents can be. Social media and 24hr hyped-up news really have done their jobs of making you all paranoid. I walked 2 blocks to a school bus stop by myself until I met up with others starting in K. There was never a mom at a bus stop after the first day. Ever! It was no big deal because we all played outside on our own already. Today every mom/nanny is at the bus stop and many even drive to the bus stops. Now if I let my 7yr old walk home the 8 houses alone, I look like a negligent mom.

Another thing that has changed is parents working longer hours and many people not knowing and not having friendly relationships with their neighbors. It's different when you don't know the people 2 doors down -- which you usually did when I was coming up and I am 48.

We know everyone in our neighborhood, as do our kids. They know where to go if they need help.

Silver Spring 20910

That is lovely -- I live in SS too and know a lot of our neighbors but I know a lot of people around the DMV that do not know a lot their neighbors. Geez Christmas -- not everyone's experience is the same. And, yes, a lot of things about how people relate to their neighbors, how many kids you see running around outside after school, yes they have changed since 1974. I was just denoting that things have changed a lot, was not saying at what age kids should be allowed to be unsupervised.
sheesh

I'm the Silver Spring 20910 PP. DH and I work full-time but we know our neighbors from school; church; the swim club/pool; soccer teams; moms' group (a long time ago now); the annual neighborhood block party; the listserv. The list goes on and on. I don't know every last neighbor for blocks around, but I could walk the neighborhood for an hour and give you information about (and stop and chat with) people on every street, easily. When my mom died a few years ago, many neighbors brought food and sent condolence notes. And I am not from this area!

Not everyone's suburban 2015 experience is the same.

Isn't that what I said? Isn't that what I told you, that while some people know all their neighbors , some folks do not?
Wasn't that my point? Some people do not live in neighborhoods where they know a lot of families and are comfortable with their kid walking too far from their house. I know a social worker that lives in a small town where everyone knows just about everyone else. And guess what, a lot of those families are plagues with child sexual abuse. It's crazy!!! And it is not the paranoid media at fault. That is a real problem, not the law saying your kid cannot supervise your 6 yr old.

How is this relevant? Most children who are sexually abused are abused inside, not outside in broad daylight while walking to the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am genuinely curious where people who say that they were crossing streets and leaving the boundaries of their block alone at age 6 grew up. I grew up in a more suburban part of Brooklyn, and this definitely didn't happen. DH grew up in suburban Chicago, and he says kids didn't do that at 6 in his neighborhood either.

This isn't a 6yr old own their own anyway. They are with a 10yr old. At 10, I could go anywhere on bike or foot. My brother was 5yrs younger than me and I was often asked to take him to the park which was about 6 blocks away. This was early/mid 80's. I was the second middle child. Every mom was a SAHM in my suburban NJ neighborhood. In K we walked home from the bus stop (about 1/4 mile) alone since it was half day. 2 friends and I. We were all 5. Never an issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am genuinely curious where people who say that they were crossing streets and leaving the boundaries of their block alone at age 6 grew up. I grew up in a more suburban part of Brooklyn, and this definitely didn't happen. DH grew up in suburban Chicago, and he says kids didn't do that at 6 in his neighborhood either.

I grew up in an LA suburb in the 70s and walked to school without parents starting in kindergarten. Everybody did. It would have been weird to have a parent walk you to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It amazes me how uptight parents can be. Social media and 24hr hyped-up news really have done their jobs of making you all paranoid. I walked 2 blocks to a school bus stop by myself until I met up with others starting in K. There was never a mom at a bus stop after the first day. Ever! It was no big deal because we all played outside on our own already. Today every mom/nanny is at the bus stop and many even drive to the bus stops. Now if I let my 7yr old walk home the 8 houses alone, I look like a negligent mom.

Another thing that has changed is parents working longer hours and many people not knowing and not having friendly relationships with their neighbors. It's different when you don't know the people 2 doors down -- which you usually did when I was coming up and I am 48.

We know everyone in our neighborhood, as do our kids. They know where to go if they need help.

Silver Spring 20910

That is lovely -- I live in SS too and know a lot of our neighbors but I know a lot of people around the DMV that do not know a lot their neighbors. Geez Christmas -- not everyone's experience is the same. And, yes, a lot of things about how people relate to their neighbors, how many kids you see running around outside after school, yes they have changed since 1974. I was just denoting that things have changed a lot, was not saying at what age kids should be allowed to be unsupervised.
sheesh

I'm the Silver Spring 20910 PP. DH and I work full-time but we know our neighbors from school; church; the swim club/pool; soccer teams; moms' group (a long time ago now); the annual neighborhood block party; the listserv. The list goes on and on. I don't know every last neighbor for blocks around, but I could walk the neighborhood for an hour and give you information about (and stop and chat with) people on every street, easily. When my mom died a few years ago, many neighbors brought food and sent condolence notes. And I am not from this area!

Not everyone's suburban 2015 experience is the same.

Isn't that what I said? Isn't that what I told you, that while some people know all their neighbors , some folks do not?
Wasn't that my point? Some people do not live in neighborhoods where they know a lot of families and are comfortable with their kid walking too far from their house. I know a social worker that lives in a small town where everyone knows just about everyone else. And guess what, a lot of those families are plagues with child sexual abuse. It's crazy!!! And it is not the paranoid media at fault. That is a real problem, not the law saying your kid cannot supervise your 6 yr old.

How is this relevant? Most children who are sexually abused are abused inside, not outside in broad daylight while walking to the park.

it was in response to the knowing your neighbor

[Anonymous]

Some kids can be unsupervised, some can't. Some families feel comfortable at 6/10/8, some at 12. Good gravvvyyy families are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids can be unsupervised, some can't. Some families feel comfortable at 6/10/8, some at 12. Good gravvvyyy families are different.

They weren't 20yrs ago. Kids had freedom and independence. Coddling, structuring your kid in long list of activities and doing everything for them to "help" them is year 2000+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids can be unsupervised, some can't. Some families feel comfortable at 6/10/8, some at 12. Good gravvvyyy families are different.

They weren't 20yrs ago. Kids had freedom and independence. Coddling, structuring your kid in long list of activities and doing everything for them to "help" them is year 2000+

+1

Maybe Y2K freaked everyone out? But really, it is all about the internet now. More screens means more indoors, more screens means more news, social media to scare people into watching MORE screens. Paparazzi, journalists, news anchors, meteorologists - it is their job to get people to watch them. People one upping themselves on Facebook, comparing their kids to others. Texting instead of talking face to face. Too much structure and not enough free time and WAY too much screen time for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighborhood is a ghost town. There are never kids out playing. They are all in after-care or structured activities every freaking day.

Weekends should be parents mowing/gardening/socializing while kids play, ride bikes, use their imaginations and get super dirty. Now parents think it is normal to pay other people to do the mowing/gardening so they can spend more money being a chauffeur for a zillion activities including "invite everyone to an impersonal birthday party 20min away" and "year round club sports that are a must for getting into college." And lets not forget all the tutors, piano lessons, day camps, sat prep courses and so forth. I feel bad for all of our kids. They know little independence and have no freedom to use their brains, imagination and critical thinking skills. It just seems like from birth the goal is to mold them into someone ready for college and adulthood. And we wonder why teen suicides are on the rise. They can not handle criticisms, they don't want to be held accountable for anything, they were groomed to believe they were perfect. They have zero interpersonal skills and street smarts and are little balls of stress. It sucks.

You have zero idea what those kids are doing much of the time. For example, my kids have heavy extra curricular activities...but: are up early daily and play for two hours before school (Lego building, forts, art, read, hide and seek). My kids typically go on bike rides numerous times per week, play outside 5+ days a week! have play dates, and have lots of downtime. We cut out all screen time on most days and that freed up lots of time. My kids also do well in school AND in their various teams because of the work they put into them.

I think your defensive post just showed that you are over-scheduled. Exhausted just reading it.

Not defensive about my choices at all. I'm simply explaining that kids with lots of activities also have tons of downtime if there isn't screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all 8 pages of this thread, but I will tell you a few things that were completely normal back in my day:

--Drano under the sink; no safety locks
--me riding public transportation alone, in an urban area, at 8 years old
--several kids piled in the "way back" of the station wagon; no seatbelts, of course
--as many kids as could fit in the backseat; sitting on laps was the norm. Again, no seatbelts
--smoking everywhere, including doctors' offices
--my grandmother giving me booze for a toothache
--and my personal favorite: when I was an infant, my mother used to visit my grandmother, who lived in a different neighborhood in our urban area. She would leave me sleeping in the stroller outside so I could "get some fresh air" while she visited. Totally not uncommon in those days.

Should those kids have walked alone? I don't know. But the excuse "it used to be OK" doesn't fly on its own merits.

Thank you!!!! I can tell you what else has changed since the 70's. Traffic has gotten a lot worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am genuinely curious where people who say that they were crossing streets and leaving the boundaries of their block alone at age 6 grew up. I grew up in a more suburban part of Brooklyn, and this definitely didn't happen. DH grew up in suburban Chicago, and he says kids didn't do that at 6 in his neighborhood either.

I agree. I'm 42 and I played outside at 6 but couldn't go further than half a block away. I don't remember kindergarteners walking to school alone either, maybe with an older sibling but not completely unaccompanied. Some of these stories sound a lot like our grandparents stories of walking 10 miles to school, all uphill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am genuinely curious where people who say that they were crossing streets and leaving the boundaries of their block alone at age 6 grew up. I grew up in a more suburban part of Brooklyn, and this definitely didn't happen. DH grew up in suburban Chicago, and he says kids didn't do that at 6 in his neighborhood either.

I agree. I'm 42 and I played outside at 6 but couldn't go further than half a block away. I don't remember kindergarteners walking to school alone either, maybe with an older sibling but not completely unaccompanied. Some of these stories sound a lot like our grandparents stories of walking 10 miles to school, all uphill

I am 54 and walked to kindergarten with siblings, but walked home alone bc kindergarten was a half-day.

At 7 or 8 I went to the library on foot with siblings or friends. It was about as far from our house as the Woodside Park playground is from these kids' Silver Spring house.