I'm much meaner on DCUM than IRL. AMA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That's the thing though. If you read my OP, you'll see that I'm really NOT insecure. I'm not perfect - hey, judgmental obviously! - but insecurity isn't something I struggle with. Which makes me wonder why I do this.

I also don't curse on DCUM, though I do IRL. Like poor grammar and spelling, it renders posts irrelevant IMO.

Just because you said you're not insecure in your OP, doesn't mean you're not. I assume that you are very insecure. Also, pointing out someone's poor grammar and spelling just means that you have nothing to add to the discussion. Do you really think you have to have perfect grammar to offer advice on parenting or anything else (except for grammar, of course).

Why does someone have to be insecure to have strong opinions? I genuinely don't get why that's a go-to. Sure, say I'm bitchy or judgmental or snooty - that makes more sense. But how does insecure even play in?

Truly insecure people often lack empathy because they're so focused on their own (perceived) failures and deficiencies. Basically, they're self-absorbed in a negative way, often not consciously. So they have a more difficult time seeing issues from other people's points of view, and in turn can have trouble showing compassion or true support of others.

Interestingly, I think if you asked many deeply insecure people, they would say they are VERY empathetic. But I think many people confuse being empathetic (feeling/understanding things from other people's perspectives, even if they and their circumstances differ from your own) with being sensitive (feeling things deeply). Many, many deeply insecure people are sensitive. It's a factor that amplifies their own negative feelings about themselves. But being sensitive does not necessarily mean that one can let go of their own point of view, personal history, wants and needs long enough to consider something through someone else's eyes.

No clue where OP falls in all this. Just wanted to offer her some food for thought. Clearly there's something driving her meanness on this board. I'm curious what it may be. I obviously don't have much information to go on, but my personal guess is that it IS insecurity. What she lists as small/typical day-to-day complaints are surprisingly broad. They cover all categories of her life, it seems.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you ever apologized on this board for something you wrote that seemed to you to be unduly mean in retrospect? Or that hurt someone's feelings or upset them in what felt like a genuine way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you ever apologized on this board for something you wrote that seemed to you to be unduly mean in retrospect? Or that hurt someone's feelings or upset them in what felt like a genuine way?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That's the thing though. If you read my OP, you'll see that I'm really NOT insecure. I'm not perfect - hey, judgmental obviously! - but insecurity isn't something I struggle with. Which makes me wonder why I do this.

I also don't curse on DCUM, though I do IRL. Like poor grammar and spelling, it renders posts irrelevant IMO.

Just because you said you're not insecure in your OP, doesn't mean you're not. I assume that you are very insecure. Also, pointing out someone's poor grammar and spelling just means that you have nothing to add to the discussion. Do you really think you have to have perfect grammar to offer advice on parenting or anything else (except for grammar, of course).

Why does someone have to be insecure to have strong opinions? I genuinely don't get why that's a go-to. Sure, say I'm bitchy or judgmental or snooty - that makes more sense. But how does insecure even play in?

Truly insecure people often lack empathy because they're so focused on their own (perceived) failures and deficiencies. Basically, they're self-absorbed in a negative way, often not consciously. So they have a more difficult time seeing issues from other people's points of view, and in turn can have trouble showing compassion or true support of others.

Interestingly, I think if you asked many deeply insecure people, they would say they are VERY empathetic. But I think many people confuse being empathetic (feeling/understanding things from other people's perspectives, even if they and their circumstances differ from your own) with being sensitive (feeling things deeply). Many, many deeply insecure people are sensitive. It's a factor that amplifies their own negative feelings about themselves. But being sensitive does not necessarily mean that one can let go of their own point of view, personal history, wants and needs long enough to consider something through someone else's eyes.

No clue where OP falls in all this. Just wanted to offer her some food for thought. Clearly there's something driving her meanness on this board. I'm curious what it may be. I obviously don't have much information to go on, but my personal guess is that it IS insecurity. What she lists as small/typical day-to-day complaints are surprisingly broad. They cover all categories of her life, it seems.

Op here - can you give an example of the "complaints in all areas of life" you mention?

[Anonymous]

So I read all these pages to find out OP has "mommy" issues and uses anonymously slamming, criticizing and provoking Sahms on here instead of working out her own issues

Great

[Anonymous]

Wait one minute! Are you the angst ridden former country club member who was forced to confront nature on family vacations and still fumes over her lack of a proper college fund?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's your DCUM pet peeves? In other words, what type of posts bring out your snarkiness the most?

Do you care if you realize you've made someone upset or do you revel in the power or something else?

WOHM/SAHM gets some of my nastiest responses. Also people who are clueless about their kids (like the person asking how to educate her 15 month old because a genius aunt might look down on her). People who are status-conscious.

OMG. you sound awful. I am going to take responses hating on SAHMs with a BIG grain of salt now I know This is where it's coming from...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's your DCUM pet peeves? In other words, what type of posts bring out your snarkiness the most?

Do you care if you realize you've made someone upset or do you revel in the power or something else?

WOHM/SAHM gets some of my nastiest responses. Also people who are clueless about their kids (like the person asking how to educate her 15 month old because a genius aunt might look down on her). People who are status-conscious.

OMG. you sound awful. I am going to take responses hating on SAHMs with a BIG grain of salt now I know This is where it's coming from...

You sound like a twit who can't think of anything original to say. Stock response, must not be very bright or creative. Ninny.

[Anonymous]

This is what annoys me about dcum: the keyboard warriors. I have no problem at all voicing the same opinions on DCUM that I would tell someone irl, and I can't help but think, when I go into a thread and it's just a whole first page of nastiness attacking some poor op, that it's people who are cowardly irl and taking out their tage in here. How about you grow some balls and fix whatever is causing your issues irl instead of taking it out on here? It just seems so miserable and awful. Sorry op, but you seem like a truly nasty person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's your DCUM pet peeves? In other words, what type of posts bring out your snarkiness the most?

Do you care if you realize you've made someone upset or do you revel in the power or something else?

WOHM/SAHM gets some of my nastiest responses. Also people who are clueless about their kids (like the person asking how to educate her 15 month old because a genius aunt might look down on her). People who are status-conscious.

OMG. you sound awful. I am going to take responses hating on SAHMs with a BIG grain of salt now I know This is where it's coming from...

You sound like a twit who can't think of anything original to say. Stock response, must not be very bright or creative. Ninny.

If this is op, I dare you to say that to my face.

[Anonymous]

[google]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the title of your post should have been:

"I'm a coward. AMA."

agreed

x3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the title of your post should have been:

"I'm a coward. AMA."

agreed

Yep. Typical coward.

Because I have opinions at all? Because I don't voice them too often IRL?

You are a coward because you voice your opinions in a mean-spirited (anonymous) way. Trust me, I know. I'm the same way and I consider some of my responses cowardly. I can own it.

Ok, I can see that distinction. Not sure coward is quite the right word, but I see where you're going. - OP

Other words come to mind (like insecure b*tch) but I won't mention them here.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you crave attention and seek it through available means. Since you fail at humor or erudition, your best bet is hostility. Irl there alway someone meaner and smarter, so you have to proceed with caution.

THIS times a million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That's the thing though. If you read my OP, you'll see that I'm really NOT insecure. I'm not perfect - hey, judgmental obviously! - but insecurity isn't something I struggle with. Which makes me wonder why I do this.

I also don't curse on DCUM, though I do IRL. Like poor grammar and spelling, it renders posts irrelevant IMO.

Just because you said you're not insecure in your OP, doesn't mean you're not. I assume that you are very insecure. Also, pointing out someone's poor grammar and spelling just means that you have nothing to add to the discussion. Do you really think you have to have perfect grammar to offer advice on parenting or anything else (except for grammar, of course).

This whole thread has made me feel so much better about the mean responses I have gotten on here. A glimpse into the mind of a DCUM troll. I just never expected it to be so.... milquetoast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait one minute! Are you the angst ridden former country club member who was forced to confront nature on family vacations and still fumes over her lack of a proper college fund?

Huh? No.