Someone called me out in front of my kid

[Anonymous]

Are people seriously bitching at OP for speaking to her own kid in public? My goodness. Sanctimommies out in full force. If your special snowflake hears someone saying Santa isn't real and loses the 'magic,' who gives a shit.

[Anonymous]

Muslima wrote:We are on the other end of the spectrum. We don't celebrate xmas (Muslim family) . I have a DD in K and she's aware of it, though it makes her very sad. She came home a few weeks ago excited about xmas and I reminded her once again that we do not celebrate it and I could tell she was disappointed. I don't want her to feel left out but I also don't want to compromise her faith so it's a tough one. I don't want her to be the bratty kid that tells all the five-year-olds in the neighborhood that Santa isn't real but I can't tell her he's real either. At first, I didn’t know how to explain to DD that we don’t celebrate Christmas. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and scar her forever or make her feel like a leper. I don't want her to feel different from her classmates even though she is. I think though, at the end of the day, raising children in such a multi cultural society is educational in itself and children should be made aware that it's ok for people to believe in different things..

PP, we don't celebrate Christmas. I said, "Christmas is a Christian religious holiday, and we are not Christian." I also said, "Santa isn't real. People dress up as Santa and the presents come from the parents." I also said, "You are NOT EVER allowed to say ONE WORD to children about Santa because I don't want to hear from somebody's mother or father that you told them that Santa isn't real." -- and as far as I know, they never did.

As for what we said when we were out in public and happened to see a Santa (or an Easter Bunny, or whatever)? I don't remember. If we talked about it, we talked about it in a conversational tone of voice, neither yelling nor whispering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people seriously bitching at OP for speaking to her own kid in public? My goodness. Sanctimommies out in full force. If your special snowflake hears someone saying Santa isn't real and loses the 'magic,' who gives a shit.

Aaaaand scene! The "who cares about any kids besides mine" position clearly stated.

[Muslima]

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:We are on the other end of the spectrum. We don't celebrate xmas (Muslim family) . I have a DD in K and she's aware of it, though it makes her very sad. She came home a few weeks ago excited about xmas and I reminded her once again that we do not celebrate it and I could tell she was disappointed. I don't want her to feel left out but I also don't want to compromise her faith so it's a tough one. I don't want her to be the bratty kid that tells all the five-year-olds in the neighborhood that Santa isn't real but I can't tell her he's real either. At first, I didn’t know how to explain to DD that we don’t celebrate Christmas. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and scar her forever or make her feel like a leper. I don't want her to feel different from her classmates even though she is. I think though, at the end of the day, raising children in such a multi cultural society is educational in itself and children should be made aware that it's ok for people to believe in different things..

So just say "we don't celebrate Christmas." Don't even discuss whether Santa is real or not; for your family it's irrelevant because you do not participate in Christmas.

It's not that simple. We don't live in a bubble so even though we do not celebrate xmas my DD is exposed to it daily at school, malls, outside, tv, shows, friends, ect. So it requires more than a simple "we don't celebrate xmas". 5year olds ask tons of questions and every answer leads to another Q.

[Muslima]

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:We are on the other end of the spectrum. We don't celebrate xmas (Muslim family) . I have a DD in K and she's aware of it, though it makes her very sad. She came home a few weeks ago excited about xmas and I reminded her once again that we do not celebrate it and I could tell she was disappointed. I don't want her to feel left out but I also don't want to compromise her faith so it's a tough one. I don't want her to be the bratty kid that tells all the five-year-olds in the neighborhood that Santa isn't real but I can't tell her he's real either. At first, I didn’t know how to explain to DD that we don’t celebrate Christmas. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and scar her forever or make her feel like a leper. I don't want her to feel different from her classmates even though she is. I think though, at the end of the day, raising children in such a multi cultural society is educational in itself and children should be made aware that it's ok for people to believe in different things..

PP, we don't celebrate Christmas. I said, "Christmas is a Christian religious holiday, and we are not Christian." I also said, "Santa isn't real. People dress up as Santa and the presents come from the parents." I also said, "You are NOT EVER allowed to say ONE WORD to children about Santa because I don't want to hear from somebody's mother or father that you told them that Santa isn't real." -- and as far as I know, they never did.

As for what we said when we were out in public and happened to see a Santa (or an Easter Bunny, or whatever)? I don't remember. If we talked about it, we talked about it in a conversational tone of voice, neither yelling nor whispering.

That's what i told her too. I told her we don't celebrate Xmas, we celebrate Eid and I reminded her of all the cool things and gifts she got for Eid. However I didn't tell her she wasn't allowed to talk about Santa not being real to other kids, that never came up. I think her dad told her when she was 3 that Santa wasn't real but i don't think she remembers or talks about Santa a lot. We will see if she mentions it now that she is in K and a lot of kids will probably start talking about Santa and Xmas lists very soon.

[Anonymous]

I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

Because members of the religious majority have a hard time realizing not everyone believes what they do and does what they do. Whereas for a religious minority, it's apparent early on that society doesn't cater to them. For instance, time off at Christmas is useless to me, as a Jew; I would far rather exchange it for time at the High Holidays. But that's the way it works and I'm used to it. When you're in the majority, though, by definition most people do things the way you do. So when you encounter something different, it's hard to understand a different point of view. At least that's what I've concluded from reading this thread, which includes such oblivious advice as "just tell your kid Santa is real even if you don't believe it, to preserve it for others" and "Santa is really secular so just enjoy the magic even if you are Jewish/Muslim/whatever." As I posted earlier, Santa has no relevance to my life, and while I'm not going to go screaming it from the heavens, I'm not going to censor my conversations with my child in a public place, either (assuming the conversation is at normal volume). Particularly not in November. Sheesh. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and people are already going nuts over Christmas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

Because members of the religious majority have a hard time realizing not everyone believes what they do and does what they do. Whereas for a religious minority, it's apparent early on that society doesn't cater to them. For instance, time off at Christmas is useless to me, as a Jew; I would far rather exchange it for time at the High Holidays. But that's the way it works and I'm used to it. When you're in the majority, though, by definition most people do things the way you do. So when you encounter something different, it's hard to understand a different point of view. At least that's what I've concluded from reading this thread, which includes such oblivious advice as "just tell your kid Santa is real even if you don't believe it, to preserve it for others" and "Santa is really secular so just enjoy the magic even if you are Jewish/Muslim/whatever." As I posted earlier, Santa has no relevance to my life, and while I'm not going to go screaming it from the heavens, I'm not going to censor my conversations with my child in a public place, either (assuming the conversation is at normal volume). Particularly not in November. Sheesh. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and people are already going nuts over Christmas!

Oh don't be silly. This isn't about religious freedom. It would be rude if you went around saying the tooth fairy wasn't real too. Are there any fictional aspects to any other secular or non-Christian religious holidays? I mean ones that everyone agrees are fictitious, like Santa or the tooth fairy or Easter bunny. If so I am very happy to not spoil them for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

Of course it's fine for some people to believe and others not to. But it's rude to tell a kid that his/her beliefs are wrong. I wouldn't do it to your kid, don't do it to mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

Because members of the religious majority have a hard time realizing not everyone believes what they do and does what they do. Whereas for a religious minority, it's apparent early on that society doesn't cater to them. For instance, time off at Christmas is useless to me, as a Jew; I would far rather exchange it for time at the High Holidays. But that's the way it works and I'm used to it. When you're in the majority, though, by definition most people do things the way you do. So when you encounter something different, it's hard to understand a different point of view. At least that's what I've concluded from reading this thread, which includes such oblivious advice as "just tell your kid Santa is real even if you don't believe it, to preserve it for others" and "Santa is really secular so just enjoy the magic even if you are Jewish/Muslim/whatever." As I posted earlier, Santa has no relevance to my life, and while I'm not going to go screaming it from the heavens, I'm not going to censor my conversations with my child in a public place, either (assuming the conversation is at normal volume). Particularly not in November. Sheesh. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and people are already going nuts over Christmas!

Oh don't be silly. This isn't about religious freedom. It would be rude if you went around saying the tooth fairy wasn't real too. Are there any fictional aspects to any other secular or non-Christian religious holidays? I mean ones that everyone agrees are fictitious, like Santa or the tooth fairy or Easter bunny. If so I am very happy to not spoil them for your kids.

OK, so it's not about members of the religious majority having a hard time realizing that not everyone believes what they do; it's about members of the majority, period, having a hard time realizing that not everyone believes what they do.

I'm not the PP, but I agree with the PP that Person A shouldn't have to censor Person A's conversations with Person A's child just in case their conversation includes something that Person B's child might possibly hear that contradicts what Person B wants Person B's child to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

Of course it's fine for some people to believe and others not to. But it's rude to tell a kid that his/her beliefs are wrong. I wouldn't do it to your kid, don't do it to mine.

Who's saying that? Not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were talking in public about Santa (DC questioned who the guy in a Santa suit was) I said it was a man dressed up and told st nics story.
When I mentioned Santa isn't real a person who was walking behind us jumped and told me to watch out and be careful with what I say because I could ruin someone's Christmas.

So am I supposed to whisper? I need a reality check here.

She needs one. Not you.

No one has the power to "ruin"santa for a believing child who isn't ready to give it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

Of course it's fine for some people to believe and others not to. But it's rude to tell a kid that his/her beliefs are wrong. I wouldn't do it to your kid, don't do it to mine.

Who's saying that? Not OP.

Santa isn't real = your belief in Santa is wrong.

It's rude and unnecessary to say that in a way and location where someone outside of your immediate family who might still hold that belief can hear you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get why it's not ok for some people to believe and some people not to believe. We are Jewish and don't get "the magic of santa" but I explain all the time why we believe things different than others, why we observe shabbat, why we can't eat non kosher pizza. If a child heard someone say Santa isn't real, why can't the parents just say, "well, we believe he is"?

Because members of the religious majority have a hard time realizing not everyone believes what they do and does what they do. Whereas for a religious minority, it's apparent early on that society doesn't cater to them. For instance, time off at Christmas is useless to me, as a Jew; I would far rather exchange it for time at the High Holidays. But that's the way it works and I'm used to it. When you're in the majority, though, by definition most people do things the way you do. So when you encounter something different, it's hard to understand a different point of view. At least that's what I've concluded from reading this thread, which includes such oblivious advice as "just tell your kid Santa is real even if you don't believe it, to preserve it for others" and "Santa is really secular so just enjoy the magic even if you are Jewish/Muslim/whatever." As I posted earlier, Santa has no relevance to my life, and while I'm not going to go screaming it from the heavens, I'm not going to censor my conversations with my child in a public place, either (assuming the conversation is at normal volume). Particularly not in November. Sheesh. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and people are already going nuts over Christmas!

Oh don't be silly. This isn't about religious freedom. It would be rude if you went around saying the tooth fairy wasn't real too. Are there any fictional aspects to any other secular or non-Christian religious holidays? I mean ones that everyone agrees are fictitious, like Santa or the tooth fairy or Easter bunny. If so I am very happy to not spoil them for your kids.

OK, so it's not about members of the religious majority having a hard time realizing that not everyone believes what they do; it's about members of the majority, period, having a hard time realizing that not everyone believes what they do.

I'm not the PP, but I agree with the PP that Person A shouldn't have to censor Person A's conversations with Person A's child just in case their conversation includes something that Person B's child might possibly hear that contradicts what Person B wants Person B's child to believe.

Still wrong. I wouldn't walk through the mall yapping at my kids about how people who believe in multiple deities are wrong and all those Hindu gods aren't real. Even though I do not live in a Hindu majority area. Because it's rude and unnecessary. And no one is saying you should "have to" censor yourself in public. You can be rude if you want. It's a free country. I just think you're rude and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people seriously bitching at OP for speaking to her own kid in public? My goodness. Sanctimommies out in full force. If your special snowflake hears someone saying Santa isn't real and loses the 'magic,' who gives a shit.

If my special snowflake heard someone say that Santa isn't real, I'd probably tell her that the person must be on the naughty list and then we'd have a good laugh. The magic of Santa is in those who believe. Kids grow up too fast these days. I love that my kids still believe but I also realize some people have no manners in public, like OP. Have a joyous Christmas