I'm an Orthodox Jew. Ask me anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel if your daughter wanted to be a rabbi?

If she wanted to dedicate her life to the study of Torah, Id have no problem with it. There is an increasing number of Orthodox women who choose this career path, most end up teaching (as do most Rabbis). If she wanted to be a conservative or reform Rabbi, I'd wonder what about Orthodox theology she was rejecting, but I'd support her no matter what.

It would be pretty clear, wouldn't it? Studying the Torah and becoming a Rabbi are two different, though related, things. Orthodoxy doesn't allow women to become rabbis based upon theological (as well as cultural) grounds.

Yes and no. If she wanted to lead a congregation, then there are ways within the Orthodox world for a woman to have that kind of stature/influence. If she wanted to be able to answer religious questions, there are some, though limited, opportunities to do that as well. It depends what you want when you want to be a "Rabbi." The large majority of men with rabbinical ordination are no congregational rabbis.

Can a woman become ordained as a rabbi within Orthodox Judaism? I have family who are Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, and this is the hardest point for the women to accept. You can become a nun, you can "serve" the Church, you may even considered spiritually "purer" than men, but you cannot assume official leadership in the church. And official recognition by any community of one's equal status is an important moral issue, IMO (e.g., women's right to vote/hold public office, Black Americans and civil rights, gay marriage, etc.), not just a civil one.

Women cannot be ordained as rabbis. There is an orthodox rabbi in NY who recently ordained a woman, but gave her a diff title other than "rabbi" and there was a big backlash against it. Women can have leadership in a synagogue (President), and many women/Rabbi's wives are approached to answer spiritual and religious questions, but the status of "Rabbi" and official authority to respond to religious questions and "paskin" (which means to make decisions and provide an authoritative answer in complicated areas) lies only with men. Yes it is unequal treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forgive me if this has been asked and answered. In Islam, women get to keep their own money and their own earnings. They are not required to use this money to support the family (although they often do of course). If Orthodox women are working, are there any rules that govern the use of their own income, savings, or other assets?

When you ask DH, you could also ask about Jewish inheritance rules. In Islam, the woman inherits 1/2 of what her brothers inherit. If she's allowed to work, she can make this up with her own earnings.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have friends for whom respecting sexual purity laws has complicated conception? It seems like women with a long period plus short overall cycle could end up with few or no fertile days during the phase when it's permissible to have sex. In your community, do you think most women would just bend the purity rules (since having kids is its own blessing) or would they rather use medical assistance to manipulate the timing?

[Anonymous]

I have a question about a situation from my past. One of my law school colleagues was a very observant Orthodox man. (Based not just on his appearance, but his own characterization.) Although we were friendly and worked together several times, I always was careful to avoid physical contact with him. (I am a woman.) I have always been torn on whether this was rude of me, for treating him differently based on my assumption that he would rather avoid contact with non-family women. I mean, if we had been in a business meeting where everyone was shaking hands, I would obviously have offered, but here it seemed easier to avoid the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have friends for whom respecting sexual purity laws has complicated conception? It seems like women with a long period plus short overall cycle could end up with few or no fertile days during the phase when it's permissible to have sex. In your community, do you think most women would just bend the purity rules (since having kids is its own blessing) or would they rather use medical assistance to manipulate the timing?

Many people bend the purity rules for a variety of reasons, not just infertility. If a couple is having fertility issues, they will generally discuss it with a rabbi and there are leniencies that are permissible in those situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a question about a situation from my past. One of my law school colleagues was a very observant Orthodox man. (Based not just on his appearance, but his own characterization.) Although we were friendly and worked together several times, I always was careful to avoid physical contact with him. (I am a woman.) I have always been torn on whether this was rude of me, for treating him differently based on my assumption that he would rather avoid contact with non-family women. I mean, if we had been in a business meeting where everyone was shaking hands, I would obviously have offered, but here it seemed easier to avoid the issue.

I am sure he appreciated you not placing him in an awkward situation.

[Anonymous]

I know it is impossible to generalize about things like this, but what have you observed about the relationships between men and women in private life. In some Christian traditions, the husband is viewed as the head of the household and the wife is supposed to go along with his decisions, even if she would have made a different choice or had different views. Does Jewish law have a corollary to this or would you say that most family decisions are made by the husband and wife together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it is impossible to generalize about things like this, but what have you observed about the relationships between men and women in private life. In some Christian traditions, the husband is viewed as the head of the household and the wife is supposed to go along with his decisions, even if she would have made a different choice or had different views. Does Jewish law have a corollary to this or would you say that most family decisions are made by the husband and wife together?

Nothing in Jewish law dictates it but I'd say the woman usually runs the show. There is a story of a very famous, great rabbi who one year decided he was going to implement new rules for cleaning the house for Passover. His wife, however, was having none of it and put her foot down. He never tried to change her system again.

[Anonymous]

The reason I don't like to associate with Orthodox Jews (and some other ultra religious people), it is just a matter of time before they hurt my feelings with, "I can't eat that", or "I can't drive today". Just annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason I don't like to associate with Orthodox Jews (and some other ultra religious people), it is just a matter of time before they hurt my feelings with, "I can't eat that", or "I can't drive today". Just annoying.

Why would that hurt your feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason I don't like to associate with Orthodox Jews (and some other ultra religious people), it is just a matter of time before they hurt my feelings with, "I can't eat that", or "I can't drive today". Just annoying.

Why would that hurt your feelings?

If you prepared the food for them. It is more than I need to think about. My friend's diabetic child is enough for me to worry about. I don't want to hear, "we can't eat that watermelon because you cut it!". Just leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason I don't like to associate with Orthodox Jews (and some other ultra religious people), it is just a matter of time before they hurt my feelings with, "I can't eat that", or "I can't drive today". Just annoying.

Why would that hurt your feelings?

If you prepared the food for them. It is more than I need to think about. My friend's diabetic child is enough for me to worry about. I don't want to hear, "we can't eat that watermelon because you cut it!". Just leave.

Thats your prerogative and you dont sound very friendly or hospitable so I doubt anyone would miss associating with you. But chances are, they would eat what they could to be polite and just leave the rest. I've never told anyone "I cant eat that bc you cut it."

[Anonymous]

If an Ultra-Orthodox man touches a female other than his spouse between the ages of 12 and 45, whether by accident or by design, what are his consequences? Thanks. BJ

[Anonymous]

what the deal with the beard, hair styles and clothes? why does God possibly care what clothes you wear or how you groom your facial hair? Isn't that kind of silly?

[Anonymous]

What is considered off limits? besides pork and nonkosher foods...such as Catholics are not permitted sex before marriage, birth control or meat on Friday in lent...And are there any sexual limitations in the bedroom?