I'm an Orthodox Jew. Ask me anything.

[Anonymous]

My parents are divorced. My mom is a reform not really practicing Jew and my dad is a conservative Jew and I want to be orthodox but I live with my mom and I feel like it is impossible to do so because she is not religious like I am. I am only 14 years old but I feel like I am old enough to make my own decisions. I just feel so blocked because my mom only goes to synagogue on high holidays, doesnt keep shabbat, un kosher, etc. I am starting to keep shabbat and I am kosher and I want to go to the synagogue more and learn more about Judaism and fulfil commandments. I also do not go to a Jewish school so I only have one Jewish friend. It would be awesome if I can get some advice on what to do. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Jew here: Why do most orthodox teenage girls look the same?

[Anonymous]

I have heard that Orthodox men have sex through the sheets (a hole in the sheet, a sheet in between them). Is there any truth to this? I don't expect you to answer. I just thought this was an outrageous claim and was hoping you might be able to clarify if there is a thread of truth to this. I do not mean to offend. I just don't know who to ask!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have heard that Orthodox men have sex through the sheets (a hole in the sheet, a sheet in between them). Is there any truth to this? I don't expect you to answer. I just thought this was an outrageous claim and was hoping you might be able to clarify if there is a thread of truth to this. I do not mean to offend. I just don't know who to ask!

I heard that about mormons.

[Anonymous]

pp again, found on snopes: http://www.snopes.com/religion/sheet.asp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have heard that Orthodox men have sex through the sheets (a hole in the sheet, a sheet in between them). Is there any truth to this? I don't expect you to answer. I just thought this was an outrageous claim and was hoping you might be able to clarify if there is a thread of truth to this. I do not mean to offend. I just don't know who to ask!

OP here - I love when this thread comes back!!

This is completely untrue. However, there are some ultra-Orthodox couples who are not educated about sex prior to marriage and have self-imposed, ridiculous stringencies. I heard one story about a couple who had trouble getting pregnant and eventually found out they were using the wrong hole.

Judaism as a whole, considers sex to be integral to marriage and nothing is supposed to come between a husband and wife, certainly not a sheet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jew here: Why do most orthodox teenage girls look the same?

Dont most non-orthodox teenagers look the same too? They shop at the same stores, have a limited wardrobe due to modesty restrictions, and all think its absolutely necessary to blow -dry their hair. Conformity, mixed with limited choices, is a way of life for all teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are divorced. My mom is a reform not really practicing Jew and my dad is a conservative Jew and I want to be orthodox but I live with my mom and I feel like it is impossible to do so because she is not religious like I am. I am only 14 years old but I feel like I am old enough to make my own decisions. I just feel so blocked because my mom only goes to synagogue on high holidays, doesnt keep shabbat, un kosher, etc. I am starting to keep shabbat and I am kosher and I want to go to the synagogue more and learn more about Judaism and fulfil commandments. I also do not go to a Jewish school so I only have one Jewish friend. It would be awesome if I can get some advice on what to do. Thanks.

This is a very difficult situation. I remember being in high school and having friends with the same issues. Have you told your mom about your desire to learn and practice more? I'd have a talk with her and see how she feels about it. Perhaps she is willing to take you to orthodox services, or attend an after-school program. There are also many online programs to learn. Its hard to keep kosher or observe Shabbat when your household does not, but there are certainly things you can do on your own - stop eating pork and shellfish and milk/meat, choose not to watch tv or use your phone on Shabbat - but its important to 1) avoid imposing these restrictions on your mom and 2) making her feel like what she is doing is "wrong." Parents (in my experience) tend to feel very judged when their children want to make more stringent religious choices than they made.

I would explore NCSY (National Counsel of Synagogue Youth), Chabad, or Aish HaTorah online for more information about incorporating Orthodoxy into your life while being careful not to alienate your family. If your mom is ok with it, obviously, the process will be much easier.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My friend who lived in Israel said the ultra-orthodox frequent the red light district. It was near where she lived and that is where they go.
Another taboo subject is the domestic violence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend who lived in Israel said the ultra-orthodox frequent the red light district. It was near where she lived and that is where they go.
Another taboo subject is the domestic violence

In any society where there are sexual restrictions, there will always be those who find nontraditional outlets. Not an excuse, but its the same across all cultures.

Domestic violence is also a problem in orthodox Judaism, just like all other cultures. Locally, there is JCADA (Jewish coalition against domestic abuse) that offers support and education. In other areas, people are trying to shed light on it and its not tolerated when its brought in the open. It's certainly not sanctioned by Jewish law.

[Anonymous]

My friend who lived in Israel said the ultra-orthodox frequent the red light district. It was near where she lived and that is where they go.
Another taboo subject is the domestic violence

Your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My friend who lived in Israel said the ultra-orthodox frequent the red light district. It was near where she lived and that is where they go.
Another taboo subject is the domestic violence

Your point?

People are not what they seem. I remember hearing the story about newlyweds back in the '80s, it's an old urban legend. I do not think "all cultures" excuses anything. A highly religious jerk is the worst kind that there is. It's a pity this is such taboo because it really is a problem