Female sexual desire

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexual desire is all about being attracted to someone and then having them being good enough in bed. If they don't have decent foreplay and then stay hard long enough for you to come, it doesn't matter how rich or they are. You won't be excited to have sex with them again. So many guys are bad in bed that women would rather skip it and masturbate.

I mostly agree with you about desire and being good in bed. but many women don’t come from PIV and many men don’t understand this. it often isn’t about staying hard long enough, it’s about having other skills and not assuming getting (and staying) in is what it takes. Personally, I want to come before we get to that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

Very common for women to have a work crush on the boss. Unlike her DH, the boss has authority over her and she has to do what he says without constant complaints and criticism. Whether or not the requirement to be submissive and obedient to male authority is what produces the crush is left as an exercise for the reader.

DP. I’m not in this fight, but this sounds hot.
I want my husband to assert authority over me and tell me that I have to do what he says without complaint or criticism.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.

Now... was that so hard to concede?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

People don't have crushes based solely on physically attraction. They're is an aspect of personality and charm.

The only way a married woman experiences " overwhelming desire and attraction" from a man other than her husband is when she welcomes it. Most decent women shut it down quick. It does not mistakenly skip to the overwhelming stage. It's nutured and welcomed over time. So having sex with a crush when you are married is not some lesson on how to keep a wife happy. It's a lesson on how to lie with a nasty dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.

Now... was that so hard to concede?

That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

People don't have crushes based solely on physically attraction. They're is an aspect of personality and charm.

The only way a married woman experiences " overwhelming desire and attraction" from a man other than her husband is when she welcomes it. Most decent women shut it down quick. It does not mistakenly skip to the overwhelming stage. It's nutured and welcomed over time. So having sex with a crush when you are married is not some lesson on how to keep a wife happy. It's a lesson on how to lie with a nasty dog.

You think a ring goes on a woman's finger and men automatically stop being attracted to her? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.

Now... was that so hard to concede?

That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol

They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.

Now... was that so hard to concede?

That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol

They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.

Nope. They clearly pointed out that interest is not a direct result of a man's expression of desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.

Now... was that so hard to concede?

I’m a woman and not person you are fighting with. Like the other PP, I don’t find your references to affairs very relevant to the issues here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.

Now... was that so hard to concede?

That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol

They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.

Nope. They clearly pointed out that interest is not a direct result of a man's expression of desire.

And conceded that sexual relationships happen as a result of the male expression of desire. Which was the entire point everyone has been telling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Here's the problem, right here.

Instead of a playful "challenge accepted" and someone who loves her taking the time and effort to help her figure this out, you suggest he just go slip into something that will orgasm on demand?

You and your whole mentality are the issue.

No, a woman is in charge of her body, and she should understand and be comfortable with what she needs to orgasm. Together, she and her partner should explore and find what they both enjoy.

However, the women who enjoy it the most have already learned (often through solo practice) how their body works.

Taking time and effort to help her figure out her body is fine in your late teens/early 20s. By the time you are posting on a parent forum, you should understand what is going on with you better than you did at 18.

OR... instead of assuming that all people should do it the same way (which happens to be the way YOU think is right) you can love and respect your partner enough to meet them where they are, with compassion for what they've been through and are currently going through. Assuming people need to check boxes by a certain date is pathetically brittle thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.

Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.

Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.

Now... was that so hard to concede?

That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol

They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.

I’m the poster, and a woman. And I disagreed with you. Attraction has many more components than just direct sexual expression. And as a PP above said, direct sexual expression can be a turn off in some circumstances.

This discussion lost the plot along the way somewhere and just turned into a dumb fight. Yes, a man can do things to make his partner more interested. But putting as much responsibility for it on the man, as you have been, is self defeating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.

You really need to work on that voice in your head.

I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow

The ones who regularly get laid are.

Meh.

I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.

I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.

Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.

I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.

Different strokes I guess.

You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.

The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)

You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.

Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.

I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.

When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.

So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.

LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.

So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol

Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do

Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".

Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.

sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women

Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.

Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?

So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.

Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.

Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.

Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.

I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.

Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating

People don't have crushes based solely on physically attraction. They're is an aspect of personality and charm.

The only way a married woman experiences " overwhelming desire and attraction" from a man other than her husband is when she welcomes it. Most decent women shut it down quick. It does not mistakenly skip to the overwhelming stage. It's nutured and welcomed over time. So having sex with a crush when you are married is not some lesson on how to keep a wife happy. It's a lesson on how to lie with a nasty dog.

You think a ring goes on a woman's finger and men automatically stop being attracted to her? lol

No. Most married women can tell a man in clear terms that they are not interested in whatever he is offering. And most men who are not creeps get the message loud and clear and shut it down.