Did Covid disrupt the parent volunteer pipeline

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid exposed even more inequity but also slowed it all down and allowed people to focus inward and not on their community. I see this in the PTA. We have 40-50 parents who volunteer out of a school of 400 families and most of these parents can just put their kid into a paid activity or go to a fun paid festival on weekends instead of setting up for a festival on school grounds. Free to all students and benefitting all the families that cant volunteer or financially contribute due to multiple jobs, many kids etc. We are all burned out now but not many new families are stepping up.

Can you really blame those people for not wanting to burn themselves out for others who can’t or won’t pitch but want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor? People felt taken advantage of in these largely thankless roles. There wasn’t much upside for people who would like to enjoy their weekends with their families too.

And I'd add, unoften unnecessary roles too that feel made up at times. if a volunteer wants to tell the community that we "need" to have this fesitval and is going to run it, that's fine, but don't asume we all agree with "need"

Exactly. And there seems to be an attitude in here that some people owe it to others to put on an event because other kids “need” it. The other parents don’t have any skin in the game but are able to show up for 2 hours to have fun with their own families and for this reason, other people need to donate large amounts of their own personal time and often money to make this happen. Why exactly? I’d like to enjoy the events with my family too, but I’m often working. If another parent can show up for 2 hours then they too can help out for an hour to make it a success. Otherwise, what’s the point? Does anyone really need this fall festival, spring fling, fun fest, put on by a small amount of volunteers who feel put upon and not appreciated? Hardly anyone ever says “thanks!” There’s usually just input about how it could have been better or what was lacking.

Based on many posts it seems like people would rather pay for enrichment than volunteer themselves. I'd argue that's incredibly sad, because it limits their circle and their kids' circles to other people who can also pay for that specific type of enrichment. It reduces the feeling of "we're community because we all live here/go to this school/are part of this local youth club" that comes from volunteer run organizations. It means fewer of the all important weak ties people need. But all everyone sees is the hour taken to put on the Fun Fest.

Obviously sometimes Pinterest Parents go overboard with tiny details - my kid really doesn't care if the donut holes for the winter class party look like snowmen or not but I know the picture looked cute on your Instagram. But the broad fact of these events really is important. We have to fight against the loneliness epidemic somehow, and I'd argue these free labor driven volunteering events are one way people can do it. Meet other people you wouldn't normally hang out with, provide something for your community, get a sense of a job well done (yeah, even if the freeloading parents are annoying complainers), give your kids another chance to see that kid from class that just maybe they might be friends with.

But if you’ve ever organized the Fun Fest you see the dark side of how many hours it takes to pull off vs the enjoyment given. The same people doing the set up, running the show, are also the people doing the clean up. Not to mention the hours involved in planning, securing vendors, getting the decorations, organizing food, etc. Just so other people can swoop in for an hour or two and “feel like a community”. To the people putting on the show it’s a pretty poor return on investment. Their weekends are precious too and these types of things no longer feel worth it. There’s not really a sense of “we’re all in this together” when such a small number of people do the heavy lifting.

But do you hear what some of us are saying? We will come out of respect (and yes, because it's fun) but we don't necessarily think its' worth your time, either -- but you seem to. This whole martyr, "it takes a village and our KIDS NEED THIS" -- many of us don't agree with the latter in caps

I absolutely don’t think our kids NEED this which is why I won’t do it anymore. Someone else above is arguing what a travesty it is that people only want to do pay to play activities and that leaves out other kids from the former community events OTHER parents put in the blood, sweat, and tears to pull off. No, I don’t think those kids or any of them need these community events.

Specifically I’m talking about this PP: “ Based on many posts it seems like people would rather pay for enrichment than volunteer themselves. I'd argue that's incredibly sad, because it limits their circle and their kids' circles to other people who can also pay for that specific type of enrichment. It reduces the feeling of "we're community”

I don’t think other families owe those kids events or need to martyr themselves to pull off for sake of community when people like you say “we’ll come out of respect” which goes to show how little most people value these events.

I don't think that poster thinking it's sad implies she's a martyr or demanding other people to be martyrs. She's just pointing out that these events offer something she values, which is being around all kinds of people, providing events for kids whose parents maybe otherwise don't have the capacity to be involved, and creating more weak ties, which may be lost if fewer people volunteer.

It seems like she thinks those benefits to her family and community outweigh the costs to her, such as hard work, people complaining, people not appreciating the events, etc. Her post was good food for thought.

Then that is the perfect person to step up to be the committee chairperson to take on the planning or some type of leadership role to make it happen. I didn’t get the sense she was putting in the work.

Discussed poster here. While I haven't run Fun Fair (or whatever your school calls it) specifically I have done equally demanding things - and I say that based on discussions with my friends who have run Fun Fair who have come to complain about the gathering of sponsors, the finding of vendors, and all the other pain that goes into planning. Definitely done other big committee chairperson roles. Otherwise yes, I'd be an utter hypocrite. And FWIW everyone I know who has done those big events always says afterward it was worth it for our specific community. Everyone. I've never heard anyone say they thought the juice wasn't worth the squeeze.

If this is all running smoothly at your school and everyone volunteers and enjoys it, what’s the issue? If you’re not experiencing the burnout and lack of volunteerism then not sure what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and because most of the volunteer activities are overly-planned and too complicated.

Class parties with multiple parent volunteers to oversee an array of changing activities with stations. Teacher Appreciation Week with subcommittees: Door Decorating! Gift Card Collection! Teacher Lunch Potluck from Parents! Teacher Lunch Cateted by Chik Fil A!
6th Grade Grad Party: Decorations/Dance Decorations/Cafeteria. We Still Need Quiet Game Room Volunteers! Anyone have DJ Equipment? Attention Parents of Juniorslease Help with the All Night Grad Party to see how we do this!

So many of these seem silly. Some moms think they are vital and want to do them, so they do them. I am not going to opt out my kid b/c I think it's dumb; these mothers seem to find meaning in it. But I am not going to kill myself to do something unnecessary just b/c Lara's mother thinks it's important

For every non-volunteering parent who feels the way you do, there are three more who will not volunteer but will also complain about the activity being cancelled or "not done right."

I had some parents be particularly persnickety with me about something. They didn’t think I was doing the job quick enough and would often email the principal to complain. Once was on Christmas Eve when nobody had been at school for a week and I wasn’t doing my volunteer role over the break because it wasn’t that urgent. They acted like I was some sort of paid employee who answered to them. I thought they were utterly insane. The principal wasn’t going to fire me for not hopping to it over the break. Everyone else was normal, except for this one couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The next generation of parents are extremely self-centered and all about their own “wellness” and “family time” — hoping they figure this out fast because they are harming their communities, which they also somehow miss.

This was the observation of our grade school principal, made to me when my youngest kid's class was graduating. Their demands and expectations increased, while participation decreased, as if they didn't realize it was parents doing all the work they were demanding. It's simple: you don't have a garden program anymore because you didn't volunteer to maintain the garden. There won't be a fall festival/picnic/whatever because one parent can't pull it off all on their own. When you see a Sign Up Genius with mostly blank space, expect that event to be canceled next year. Your cash donation does not make up for the absence of helping hands and boots on the ground.

When I was in school with a garden program 25 years ago, it was run by a paid employee— the art teacher.

The way you get helping hands and boots on the ground is by paying people to do work. You don’t rely on the unpaid labor of women for things that are important to you in any other area of your life, do you? When you’re sick do you just wait for a doctor to volunteer to treat you? When your house needs painting do you wait for a volunteer to show up?

If something it’s important and valuable, the time of the individual carrying it out is valuable. Acting like it should be provided gratis is grossly entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

Agree. Speaking for our public schools, they hardly teach some of the fundamentals like spelling and grammar. I would rather they focus more on learning than have these extra activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

+2

I had a sahm growing up and she was not spending nearly as much time on school-related volunteering as many of the moms I know with full time jobs. And there was no expectation for it. There were only a few events or activities each year where parent volunteers were needed and she would do those and that was consider A+ work.

Another thing that happens when there are fewer events is that the school actually winds up handling the bulk of the work. I know people will freak out about not overburdening teachers and I'm NOT suggesting forcing teachers to organize a bunch of events for kids and families. But if you reduce the total number of events down to 2-3 and it's the same event year after year it's actually not that hard for teachers and admin to handle the actual organization part of it and then just ask parents to donate time and supplies. So like at my elementary school growing up there was

(1) one fall fundraiser event for families (sort of giant combo of what would now be BTS night and a fall festival and a bake sale but all at once) -- kids would set up the event under teacher direction after school and then parents would be asked to bring a baked good and donate whatever money felt appropriate and then all families would help clean up after. Kids would run the bake sale table under the supervision of a couple parent volunteers.
(2) one spring fundraiser and performance -- this would happen outside and kids would perform songs they'd been working on in music all year (there was a separate holiday concert but it was not a fundraiser and was 100% run by the music teacher) and again kids would set up the event with teachers after school and then parents would donate food to a potluck style treat table and would again be asked to donate what they could adn then everyone would help clean up after.
(3) end of year field day -- this was held on the last day of school and all parents were expected to send in food to share (like chips and bottled water and stuff) and then parents who could agree to chaperon would do so. This one wasn't a fundraiser and was purely for the kids and the activities would be organized by the teachers and admin no parents -- parents were just there to help watch the kids with some of the manual labor of running the field day.

The PTA was a chill organization that would meet a few times a year and organize sign ups for the bake sale and the potluck and other things but otherwise mainly existed as a conduit for communication between the school and parents -- people came to meetings to hear from the principal or to discuss a concern they have about a school issue (say broken playground equipment or behavioral concerns) and teachers and admin would respond and discuss solutions. They'd announce at the end of the year how much they'd raised for the school (it would be a few thousand dollars and would go to pay for stuff like holiday decorations or that field day -- it was not a major or important part of the budget).

This was a GREAT set up. Parents didn't expect tons of events -- no movie nights and festivals and special "bike to school" events. No coffee socials in the morning or constant requests to stock the teachers lounge or whatever. There would be classroom-related volunteering just like there is now -- calls for chaperones for field trips or people to come speak on career day. But these were school day events and run by the teachers. The PTA and the events I just described absolutely functioned as a way for parents to get to know each other and learn about what was going on at the school.

Oh and notice how much kids participated in these events often setting them up after school and being expected to help clean up. I never see this now -- sure some of the kids of the very involved PTA parents will help with things but it's not the same as it just being an expected activity overseen by teachers. This gave kids a sense of importance and responsiblity for their school community. I remember setting up chairs and tables and making and hanging decorations for the school events and then being so proud when my parents showed up to show them what *we* had done.

Now kids are supposed to only be recipients of these activities. No labor involved and a lot of effort is put in to making sure there is all this extra stuff for them -- face painting and a bounce house and special games and all that. I didn't need that as a kid. You just ran around with your friends and played and went around with your parents to show them your art or whatever.

That is what school community is supposed to look like and it wasn't this hugely burdensome thing for everyone involved. I really do not know what the heck we're doing now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

Agree. Speaking for our public schools, they hardly teach some of the fundamentals like spelling and grammar. I would rather they focus more on learning than have these extra activities.

My mom was a SAHM back in the 80s and she spent zero time at the school volunteering. There weren’t all these extras at the time demanding her time. The SAHMs back then didn’t create a bunch of make work jobs for themselves so they could hang out at school all day. I’m not sure exactly when the shift happened but someone at some point decided kids needed a spirit week with themed days, breakfasts for the teachers and teacher appreciation week with daily activities (provided for by volunteers), fun fests/fall fests/spring whatever, over the top classroom parties with snacks and crafts parents need to figure out, 100 day parties, dress like a book character, etc. When and why did schools decide all of this was necessary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

+2

I had a sahm growing up and she was not spending nearly as much time on school-related volunteering as many of the moms I know with full time jobs. And there was no expectation for it. There were only a few events or activities each year where parent volunteers were needed and she would do those and that was consider A+ work.

Another thing that happens when there are fewer events is that the school actually winds up handling the bulk of the work. I know people will freak out about not overburdening teachers and I'm NOT suggesting forcing teachers to organize a bunch of events for kids and families. But if you reduce the total number of events down to 2-3 and it's the same event year after year it's actually not that hard for teachers and admin to handle the actual organization part of it and then just ask parents to donate time and supplies. So like at my elementary school growing up there was

(1) one fall fundraiser event for families (sort of giant combo of what would now be BTS night and a fall festival and a bake sale but all at once) -- kids would set up the event under teacher direction after school and then parents would be asked to bring a baked good and donate whatever money felt appropriate and then all families would help clean up after. Kids would run the bake sale table under the supervision of a couple parent volunteers.
(2) one spring fundraiser and performance -- this would happen outside and kids would perform songs they'd been working on in music all year (there was a separate holiday concert but it was not a fundraiser and was 100% run by the music teacher) and again kids would set up the event with teachers after school and then parents would donate food to a potluck style treat table and would again be asked to donate what they could adn then everyone would help clean up after.
(3) end of year field day -- this was held on the last day of school and all parents were expected to send in food to share (like chips and bottled water and stuff) and then parents who could agree to chaperon would do so. This one wasn't a fundraiser and was purely for the kids and the activities would be organized by the teachers and admin no parents -- parents were just there to help watch the kids with some of the manual labor of running the field day.

The PTA was a chill organization that would meet a few times a year and organize sign ups for the bake sale and the potluck and other things but otherwise mainly existed as a conduit for communication between the school and parents -- people came to meetings to hear from the principal or to discuss a concern they have about a school issue (say broken playground equipment or behavioral concerns) and teachers and admin would respond and discuss solutions. They'd announce at the end of the year how much they'd raised for the school (it would be a few thousand dollars and would go to pay for stuff like holiday decorations or that field day -- it was not a major or important part of the budget).

This was a GREAT set up. Parents didn't expect tons of events -- no movie nights and festivals and special "bike to school" events. No coffee socials in the morning or constant requests to stock the teachers lounge or whatever. There would be classroom-related volunteering just like there is now -- calls for chaperones for field trips or people to come speak on career day. But these were school day events and run by the teachers. The PTA and the events I just described absolutely functioned as a way for parents to get to know each other and learn about what was going on at the school.

Oh and notice how much kids participated in these events often setting them up after school and being expected to help clean up. I never see this now -- sure some of the kids of the very involved PTA parents will help with things but it's not the same as it just being an expected activity overseen by teachers. This gave kids a sense of importance and responsiblity for their school community. I remember setting up chairs and tables and making and hanging decorations for the school events and then being so proud when my parents showed up to show them what *we* had done.

Now kids are supposed to only be recipients of these activities. No labor involved and a lot of effort is put in to making sure there is all this extra stuff for them -- face painting and a bounce house and special games and all that. I didn't need that as a kid. You just ran around with your friends and played and went around with your parents to show them your art or whatever.

That is what school community is supposed to look like and it wasn't this hugely burdensome thing for everyone involved. I really do not know what the heck we're doing now.

What you’re describing as normal was still way more than my school did in the 80s. We had one “fun fest” which was in the spring that parents organized and ran. My family would donate baked goods. There was no spring fundraiser/performance. The music teacher put on an annual show but no parents were involved. And the 6th graders, the oldest kids in school, were the field day volunteers. Again, no parents. I believe we all got a popsicle after handed out by admins. That’s it. There were field trips requiring chaperones and a few class parties organized by room parents where families pitched in to provide plates, napkins, snacks as needed. The demands put on families by schools or the PTA are really out of line these days for extras nobody in particular asked for. This wasn’t how it was always done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

Agree. Speaking for our public schools, they hardly teach some of the fundamentals like spelling and grammar. I would rather they focus more on learning than have these extra activities.

My mom was a SAHM back in the 80s and she spent zero time at the school volunteering. There weren’t all these extras at the time demanding her time. The SAHMs back then didn’t create a bunch of make work jobs for themselves so they could hang out at school all day. I’m not sure exactly when the shift happened but someone at some point decided kids needed a spirit week with themed days, breakfasts for the teachers and teacher appreciation week with daily activities (provided for by volunteers), fun fests/fall fests/spring whatever, over the top classroom parties with snacks and crafts parents need to figure out, 100 day parties, dress like a book character, etc. When and why did schools decide all of this was necessary?

I also wonder why and when this shift happened. Here are my theories right now:

1) A defensive overreaction to the accusation that having two working parents means parents don't care about kids or schools and aren't "involved." To counteract this working parents got ultra involved and this led to a bunch of new "obligations" that sahms didn't even use to do. Evidence: all the highly involve parents on the frankly over-active PTA at my kid's school are working parents and many work in highly demanding jobs. Why would people with demanding busy jobs take all this on. Well maybe they are trying to prove to the community that having those jobs doesn't negatively impact their kids (for the record it never occurred to me that it did).

2) Related -- as more women decided to work after having kids sahms got defensive and went into overdrive to justify being sahms. Basically the inverse of #1. A lot of people talk about how sahms are lazy or just sponging off their husbands (to be clear I do not think this) so being super active at school and organizing a bunch of stuff in a very visible way is a way to counteract that criticism.

I also think it's possible it's both #1 and #2 and that these phenomenon spur one another on.

3) Teacher and admin burnout. It used to be that some teachers would organize some (of the far fewer and smaller) community events at a school. That's still true in places but I think far less than it used to be. There is so much administrative burden on teachers these days (so many forms and assessments and reports and IEPs and professional development obligations etc.) that most teachers truly do not have the time or energy to do something like this even if it's once a year. And also because of #1 and #2 parents are more overzealous than they used to be and teachers get tired of dealing with these intense parents who always want more more more. So they opt out altogether and this shifts more of the burden onto parents who are ill-equipped to handle it.

Those are my theories anyway. It's the only way I can explain why parents are now expected to volunteer like 10x more than they used to while also working more than they used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

Agree. Speaking for our public schools, they hardly teach some of the fundamentals like spelling and grammar. I would rather they focus more on learning than have these extra activities.

My mom was a SAHM back in the 80s and she spent zero time at the school volunteering. There weren’t all these extras at the time demanding her time. The SAHMs back then didn’t create a bunch of make work jobs for themselves so they could hang out at school all day. I’m not sure exactly when the shift happened but someone at some point decided kids needed a spirit week with themed days, breakfasts for the teachers and teacher appreciation week with daily activities (provided for by volunteers), fun fests/fall fests/spring whatever, over the top classroom parties with snacks and crafts parents need to figure out, 100 day parties, dress like a book character, etc. When and why did schools decide all of this was necessary?

I also wonder why and when this shift happened. Here are my theories right now:

1) A defensive overreaction to the accusation that having two working parents means parents don't care about kids or schools and aren't "involved." To counteract this working parents got ultra involved and this led to a bunch of new "obligations" that sahms didn't even use to do. Evidence: all the highly involve parents on the frankly over-active PTA at my kid's school are working parents and many work in highly demanding jobs. Why would people with demanding busy jobs take all this on. Well maybe they are trying to prove to the community that having those jobs doesn't negatively impact their kids (for the record it never occurred to me that it did).

2) Related -- as more women decided to work after having kids sahms got defensive and went into overdrive to justify being sahms. Basically the inverse of #1. A lot of people talk about how sahms are lazy or just sponging off their husbands (to be clear I do not think this) so being super active at school and organizing a bunch of stuff in a very visible way is a way to counteract that criticism.

I also think it's possible it's both #1 and #2 and that these phenomenon spur one another on.

3) Teacher and admin burnout. It used to be that some teachers would organize some (of the far fewer and smaller) community events at a school. That's still true in places but I think far less than it used to be. There is so much administrative burden on teachers these days (so many forms and assessments and reports and IEPs and professional development obligations etc.) that most teachers truly do not have the time or energy to do something like this even if it's once a year. And also because of #1 and #2 parents are more overzealous than they used to be and teachers get tired of dealing with these intense parents who always want more more more. So they opt out altogether and this shifts more of the burden onto parents who are ill-equipped to handle it.

Those are my theories anyway. It's the only way I can explain why parents are now expected to volunteer like 10x more than they used to while also working more than they used to.

I'll throw one more onto this list (which I think is good!): social media. Not only do you have 1 & 2 putting pressure on parents, but now you have the FOMO of other people posting pictures about it and you feeling like you too need to post those pictures. College friend's kid got to have X party at school in another state? We should do that here! Pinterest showed you crazy fantastic decorations for Y social event? Got to copy those and post them on Instagram! I think the pressures would exist without social media, but social media makes it so much worse.

[Anonymous]

^^^

The social media pressure also applies to non-school volunteering as well. For example I saw so many Little League Team Moms going way overboard with coach's gifts and team goody bags for All-Stars this summer. So much crafting required if your kid is headed to States, apparently. And money to get all the junk in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I sign up to volunteer when I can, but very often the PTA programs are fairly inconvenient to attend and I always thought that our attendance at these events (squeezed into our obligations for the day) was our way of showing support to the people who had time to put the event together and the school...and not mooching off their hard work.
But, since it's all volunteer I think if you're feeling resentful and overworked...opt out.
If people notice the events missing and want them enough they will step up. If not, we can all go to the firehouse to play bingo and the world will keep spinning.

[Anonymous]

With so many comments, maybe you can write a report about it. Right after Covid, I decided to volunteer a lot. I loved wearing a mask so I don’t get any kind of cold. I also had spent so much time during Covid on school this and that that I won’t have spent if kids were at school. I saw less people volunteering and so I volunteered a LOT. Then a year later, and another year later, the other volunteers came back and I retired back to the back seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dual employment. Severe shortage of SAHPs.

+1

Also, the funny thing is, when there were more SAHPs, there were less of these extra school activities. Back in the day, you maybe had one field trip and one class party per year. I'd prefer going back to that myself. I don't think fairs, gardens, etc. are worth the trouble. I'd rather schools just focus on in class learning.

I'm older, but I think the younger generation of parents is onto something.

Agree. Speaking for our public schools, they hardly teach some of the fundamentals like spelling and grammar. I would rather they focus more on learning than have these extra activities.

My mom was a SAHM back in the 80s and she spent zero time at the school volunteering. There weren’t all these extras at the time demanding her time. The SAHMs back then didn’t create a bunch of make work jobs for themselves so they could hang out at school all day. I’m not sure exactly when the shift happened but someone at some point decided kids needed a spirit week with themed days, breakfasts for the teachers and teacher appreciation week with daily activities (provided for by volunteers), fun fests/fall fests/spring whatever, over the top classroom parties with snacks and crafts parents need to figure out, 100 day parties, dress like a book character, etc. When and why did schools decide all of this was necessary?

I also wonder why and when this shift happened. Here are my theories right now:

1) A defensive overreaction to the accusation that having two working parents means parents don't care about kids or schools and aren't "involved." To counteract this working parents got ultra involved and this led to a bunch of new "obligations" that sahms didn't even use to do. Evidence: all the highly involve parents on the frankly over-active PTA at my kid's school are working parents and many work in highly demanding jobs. Why would people with demanding busy jobs take all this on. Well maybe they are trying to prove to the community that having those jobs doesn't negatively impact their kids (for the record it never occurred to me that it did).

2) Related -- as more women decided to work after having kids sahms got defensive and went into overdrive to justify being sahms. Basically the inverse of #1. A lot of people talk about how sahms are lazy or just sponging off their husbands (to be clear I do not think this) so being super active at school and organizing a bunch of stuff in a very visible way is a way to counteract that criticism.

I also think it's possible it's both #1 and #2 and that these phenomenon spur one another on.

3) Teacher and admin burnout. It used to be that some teachers would organize some (of the far fewer and smaller) community events at a school. That's still true in places but I think far less than it used to be. There is so much administrative burden on teachers these days (so many forms and assessments and reports and IEPs and professional development obligations etc.) that most teachers truly do not have the time or energy to do something like this even if it's once a year. And also because of #1 and #2 parents are more overzealous than they used to be and teachers get tired of dealing with these intense parents who always want more more more. So they opt out altogether and this shifts more of the burden onto parents who are ill-equipped to handle it.

Those are my theories anyway. It's the only way I can explain why parents are now expected to volunteer like 10x more than they used to while also working more than they used to.

I think it’s more 1 than 2. The type A driven moms are bringing that to the school and organizing committees, delegating tasks, trying to do more and more, and outdo the last crew. It’s exhausting and asks too much of people and becomes more about putting on a show and impressing other parents than being for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed with the schools, in particular, they have been very reluctant to allow parents/volunteers back in the buildings. Maybe they got used to just doing it all themselves, maybe they cut way back on programs and don’t need as many parent volunteers other than for the 1-2 field trips a year, maybe they’re holding on to old COVID protocols. Maybe a combination of all of these and more. But it’s only been this school year so far that our PTA has even asked for room parents for all the grades, and that they’ve planned a full slate of activities. Last year they had activities (both paid after school and free or cheap, like a Trunk or Treat and a Bingo night), but the teachers and the PTA had nothing for classroom volunteers. Again, apart from field trip chaperones. People get out of the practice of giving their time and then they don’t want to do it. Or the schools and organizations make them feel unwelcomed. We have a PTA clique for sure and they are actually all pretty nice, but they’re very used to working together with just the same 6-8 moms and there’s not a lot of use for “outsiders” and occasional volunteers.

I suspect admin often thinks these parents need to volunteer is more about the parents than the kids' needs. In other words, they want the parents to feel involved but don't think they add enough to make it worth the extra work.

I think that’s part of it too. But then you have other posts lamenting the lack of volunteers …

I think school administrations are being slow to realize the changed climate and how much resentment exists towards the schools post-COVID.

+1. The dialog about COVID closures was so toxic that it undermined the belief that parents are partners with schools in their children’s educations. Having been explicitly told this is not a partnership, it’s difficult to prioritize school community needs/demands over family needs.