Are we the only family in the DMV who is priced out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting that OP claims to be priced out but hasn’t given any criteria other than “single family home”.

OP - what are you looking for? Bedrooms/baths, square footage, yard space, etc? You can absolutely afford homes in Kingstowne, south Alexandria, Hayfield, Springfield, Burke, Kings Park, Fairfax Station, Fairfax City. Can you afford a 4Bedroom in Vienna or Arlington, no, but you absolutely have options. All the neighborhoods above have SFH for under $1M, and with your down payment and income you should be able to afford a $700K mortgage. The house may not be updated, but not updated doesn’t make it a year down.

Some of these areas I have familiar with and have looked at but haven't found homes that don't need a ton of work yet. Prices are coming down on these types of homes in some of those areas, so I'm hopeful we will find something in the next year. Others I hadn't been too, so I will look into those, too. NoVa does seem to have more options that DC and MD for people at our income level with the downpayment that we have.

I wonder what the perception of a "ton of work" is? Foundation problems, non-working plumbing, kitchen cabinets falling apart, that is definitely a concern. Or is it just that the kitchen and bathrooms are functional but not updated to the latest style? Sometimes that's the compromise you have to make. I'm getting the idea that OP is like the house shoppers on HGTV who walk into a perfectly fine but not wow kitchen and insist this must be completely redone immediately, definite dealbreaker. And that kitchen that must be redone is nicer than the kitchen I've lived happily with for years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

If that's actually true, then I really should leave the metro area. But thanks for the advice! It's always good to know where you don't belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

You need to change your expectations. You make plenty.

$100K is nothing as far as a remodel is concerned. That would get you a kitchen. So if everything else is perfect you’d tear down a home because it needs a new kitchen?

[Anonymous]

I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

[Anonymous]

To sum up this thread, 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family of 4, but half of their take home pay/month for a mortgage payment on a house they can't afford is responsible.

[Anonymous]

Here are some great options OP (all of which need no work):

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/5902-Piedmont-Dr-22310/home/9753542?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/6012-Mayfair-Ln-22310/home/9753406?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/7205-Wickford-Dr-22315/home/9786991?from_mobile_app=true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are some great options OP (all of which need no work):

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/5902-Piedmont-Dr-22310/home/9753542?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/6012-Mayfair-Ln-22310/home/9753406?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/7205-Wickford-Dr-22315/home/9786991?from_mobile_app=true

Help us understand what you like/don’t like about these and we can help find others.

[Anonymous]

SFH Home prices in close in areas of McLean, Potomac, Chevy Chase, great falls, Vienna won’t have fire sales. Even on 2008 financial crisis only a slight weakness.

Problem is few forced sellers. Perhaps a estate sale, divorce or fixer upper in weaker times might be a good buy in a downturn but no one is giving away a mint home walking distance to metro in Bethesda even in bad times

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

Of course. But equating "I can't find a house that satisfies the my litany of preferences for a price I can afford, which is $1m" with "We are priced out of the entire DC area with a $1m housing budget" is obnoxious and tone deaf. That's what people are reacting to. And OP still doesn't realize that, or have the grace to admit it. (And apparently, neither do you.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

The point is that you don't need to update a house to live in it. It is ok to have an outdated kitchen and bathrooms. It is ok to let some minor repairs go. Etc. There is a third option beyond sweat equity and professional remodel, and that is . . . do nothing, which is the cheapest and easiest option. But not if your ego is wrapped up in the look of your house.

[Anonymous]

If OP would just frame her problem as "I can't afford to buy the houses I like most in the DMV, even with a sizable down payment and what feels like a pretty high HHI, and that is disappointing to me," I think she'd find a lot of support in the thread.

The problem is that OP is framing this like she feels entitled to a nicer house than what many of us with the same or worse finances have recently bought in the area. Like it feels like OP is affronted by the idea that she might have to compromise in any way, shape or form, as we did, because she thought that when she had this much money and this much income, she wouldn't have to compromise anymore.

Everyone compromises. The things they compromise on change, but everyone compromises. I try to be grateful I even have the choices I have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

The point is that you don't need to update a house to live in it. It is ok to have an outdated kitchen and bathrooms. It is ok to let some minor repairs go. Etc. There is a third option beyond sweat equity and professional remodel, and that is . . . do nothing, which is the cheapest and easiest option. But not if your ego is wrapped up in the look of your house.

I don’t know that it necessarily would be an ego thing, but the idea of dropping 4-5k a month on a mortgage for a house whose kitchen and bathrooms I hate would drive me crazy. Compromises are absolutely necessary, but what compromises someone finds palatable will vary wildly depending on the person. OP needs to decide what compromises are tolerable for her, whether that is the commute, the size of the house, the aesthetics of the house, the school pyramid, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

Of course. But equating "I can't find a house that satisfies the my litany of preferences for a price I can afford, which is $1m" with "We are priced out of the entire DC area with a $1m housing budget" is obnoxious and tone deaf. That's what people are reacting to. And OP still doesn't realize that, or have the grace to admit it. (And apparently, neither do you.)

I don’t need the grace to admit anything since the thread is not about me