My husband believes we seriously live in a matriarchy

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

You lost me right there.

Not sure why you're getting lost. By and large, men have always been treated as more expendable by society.

In the United States, women who are “biologically more valuable” (fertile women willing to have children) are allowed to die in childbirth at rates not seen anywhere else in the developed world. Society does not take care of women.

You did not refute the point at all. Just came with a random non-sequitur. I wonder why...

Sorry I think perhaps it was too subtle.
Society doesn’t take care of women. White men (your victims) receive the highest social security payments— one might even call it the lions share.

Rape against women is prosecuted at an alarmingly low rate. Law enforcement in cases that were later re-opened because the rapist went on to commit further crimes said on the record that they simply had not believed the accusers despite DNA evidence.

That is not a society that takes care of women.

I did not say social security, I said social safety net (not to speak of general societal acceptability of female vulnerability). Have any stats on who pays the lion's share of taxes?

People are very reluctant to even acknowledge that men can be raped. Find some better examples.

Social security is part of the social safety net, and in fact constitutes the largest cash transfer element. No drug tests for social security, none of the other hoops to jump through that programs that don’t disproportionately benefit men have attached to them.

And everyone acknowledges men can be raped. That doesn’t in any way absolve police of not believing female victims and releasing rapists to rape again and again.

Sorry the examples don’t support your view.

You think there isn't any residual from these types of attitudes? https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/criminal-defense/men-can-be-legally-raped-new-fbi-definition/

You are disingenuous and proving the husband's point. You have no empathy for men.

Are you going to address the tax point or no? There's a cash transfer alright.

NP here. Are you really so obtuse that you can’t understand why men pay more taxes? Has it occurred to you that it’s because women have been discriminated against for millennia and until only very very recently even given access to employment, at all? Much less the high paying jobs? You are a real misogynist and not as smart as you think you are.

Again, just saying the same thing. Even before modern taxation systems, societies have made provisions for the protection and comfort of women because of their intrinsic value. Why is this so hard to comprehend?!?

Took a while for the MiSoGyNy card to come out.

Oh, we’re not remotely saying the same thing. You’re an ignorant meathead and I’m a woman who earns millions of dollars a year. And though I have a husband, I promise you, I don’t need him.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

You lost me right there.

Not sure why you're getting lost. By and large, men have always been treated as more expendable by society.

In the United States, women who are “biologically more valuable” (fertile women willing to have children) are allowed to die in childbirth at rates not seen anywhere else in the developed world. Society does not take care of women.

You did not refute the point at all. Just came with a random non-sequitur. I wonder why...

Sorry I think perhaps it was too subtle.
Society doesn’t take care of women. White men (your victims) receive the highest social security payments— one might even call it the lions share.

Rape against women is prosecuted at an alarmingly low rate. Law enforcement in cases that were later re-opened because the rapist went on to commit further crimes said on the record that they simply had not believed the accusers despite DNA evidence.

That is not a society that takes care of women.

I did not say social security, I said social safety net (not to speak of general societal acceptability of female vulnerability). Have any stats on who pays the lion's share of taxes?

People are very reluctant to even acknowledge that men can be raped. Find some better examples.

Social security is part of the social safety net, and in fact constitutes the largest cash transfer element. No drug tests for social security, none of the other hoops to jump through that programs that don’t disproportionately benefit men have attached to them.

And everyone acknowledges men can be raped. That doesn’t in any way absolve police of not believing female victims and releasing rapists to rape again and again.

Sorry the examples don’t support your view.

You think there isn't any residual from these types of attitudes? https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/criminal-defense/men-can-be-legally-raped-new-fbi-definition/

You are disingenuous and proving the husband's point. You have no empathy for men.

Are you going to address the tax point or no? There's a cash transfer alright.

NP here. Are you really so obtuse that you can’t understand why men pay more taxes? Has it occurred to you that it’s because women have been discriminated against for millennia and until only very very recently even given access to employment, at all? Much less the high paying jobs? You are a real misogynist and not as smart as you think you are.

Again, just saying the same thing. Even before modern taxation systems, societies have made provisions for the protection and comfort of women because of their intrinsic value. Why is this so hard to comprehend?!?

Took a while for the MiSoGyNy card to come out.

You think that being forced to depend on men for survival and not being permitted independence was for our “comfort?” I just cannot! That’s called indentured servitude. Women have quite obviously fared much much better once we were given freedom. Again, men do not care for or protect women. If you think “providing” for your wifey while she sits home all day cooking for you and spitting out your kids is “protecting her” you’re nuts. I really really hope you’re either a troll or a man. I fear you’re a woman though and that’s terrifying.

I think PP is a man who needs to feel like there’s a reason he’s not getting the things to which he feels entitled.

[Anonymous]

I think the best part of this thread is saying white men aren’t attacked followed by a clause that clearly attacks white men. Love the irony!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

You lost me right there.

Not sure why you're getting lost. By and large, men have always been treated as more expendable by society.

In the United States, women who are “biologically more valuable” (fertile women willing to have children) are allowed to die in childbirth at rates not seen anywhere else in the developed world. Society does not take care of women.

You did not refute the point at all. Just came with a random non-sequitur. I wonder why...

Sorry I think perhaps it was too subtle.
Society doesn’t take care of women. White men (your victims) receive the highest social security payments— one might even call it the lions share.

Rape against women is prosecuted at an alarmingly low rate. Law enforcement in cases that were later re-opened because the rapist went on to commit further crimes said on the record that they simply had not believed the accusers despite DNA evidence.

That is not a society that takes care of women.

I did not say social security, I said social safety net (not to speak of general societal acceptability of female vulnerability). Have any stats on who pays the lion's share of taxes?

People are very reluctant to even acknowledge that men can be raped. Find some better examples.

Social security is part of the social safety net, and in fact constitutes the largest cash transfer element. No drug tests for social security, none of the other hoops to jump through that programs that don’t disproportionately benefit men have attached to them.

And everyone acknowledges men can be raped. That doesn’t in any way absolve police of not believing female victims and releasing rapists to rape again and again.

Sorry the examples don’t support your view.

You think there isn't any residual from these types of attitudes? https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/criminal-defense/men-can-be-legally-raped-new-fbi-definition/

You are disingenuous and proving the husband's point. You have no empathy for men.

Are you going to address the tax point or no? There's a cash transfer alright.

NP here. Are you really so obtuse that you can’t understand why men pay more taxes? Has it occurred to you that it’s because women have been discriminated against for millennia and until only very very recently even given access to employment, at all? Much less the high paying jobs? You are a real misogynist and not as smart as you think you are.

Again, just saying the same thing. Even before modern taxation systems, societies have made provisions for the protection and comfort of women because of their intrinsic value. Why is this so hard to comprehend?!?

Took a while for the MiSoGyNy card to come out.

You think that being forced to depend on men for survival and not being permitted independence was for our “comfort?” I just cannot! That’s called indentured servitude. Women have quite obviously fared much much better once we were given freedom. Again, men do not care for or protect women. If you think “providing” for your wifey while she sits home all day cooking for you and spitting out your kids is “protecting her” you’re nuts. I really really hope you’re either a troll or a man. I fear you’re a woman though and that’s terrifying.

You are arguing with a delusional loser. Don't waste your time.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

You lost me right there.

Not sure why you're getting lost. By and large, men have always been treated as more expendable by society.

In the United States, women who are “biologically more valuable” (fertile women willing to have children) are allowed to die in childbirth at rates not seen anywhere else in the developed world. Society does not take care of women.

You did not refute the point at all. Just came with a random non-sequitur. I wonder why...

Sorry I think perhaps it was too subtle.
Society doesn’t take care of women. White men (your victims) receive the highest social security payments— one might even call it the lions share.

Rape against women is prosecuted at an alarmingly low rate. Law enforcement in cases that were later re-opened because the rapist went on to commit further crimes said on the record that they simply had not believed the accusers despite DNA evidence.

That is not a society that takes care of women.

I did not say social security, I said social safety net (not to speak of general societal acceptability of female vulnerability). Have any stats on who pays the lion's share of taxes?

People are very reluctant to even acknowledge that men can be raped. Find some better examples.

Social security is part of the social safety net, and in fact constitutes the largest cash transfer element. No drug tests for social security, none of the other hoops to jump through that programs that don’t disproportionately benefit men have attached to them.

And everyone acknowledges men can be raped. That doesn’t in any way absolve police of not believing female victims and releasing rapists to rape again and again.

Sorry the examples don’t support your view.

You think there isn't any residual from these types of attitudes? https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/criminal-defense/men-can-be-legally-raped-new-fbi-definition/

You are disingenuous and proving the husband's point. You have no empathy for men.

Are you going to address the tax point or no? There's a cash transfer alright.

NP here. Are you really so obtuse that you can’t understand why men pay more taxes? Has it occurred to you that it’s because women have been discriminated against for millennia and until only very very recently even given access to employment, at all? Much less the high paying jobs? You are a real misogynist and not as smart as you think you are.

Again, just saying the same thing. Even before modern taxation systems, societies have made provisions for the protection and comfort of women because of their intrinsic value. Why is this so hard to comprehend?!?

Took a while for the MiSoGyNy card to come out.

Oh, we’re not remotely saying the same thing. You’re an ignorant meathead and I’m a woman who earns millions of dollars a year. And though I have a husband, I promise you, I don’t need him.

You think your rent-seeking, paper pushing job makes you special? Why are you trying to qualify yourself to an ignorant meathead? Insecure much?

Your husband is a lucky guy...

[Anonymous]

How did you end up married him? This type of idiocy isn't something that just shows up overnight

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

WTH? This is a load of crappola.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

In most cultures women are not valued. They are considered less than.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

You lost me right there.

Not sure why you're getting lost. By and large, men have always been treated as more expendable by society.

You are clearly living on a different planet. How many cultures kill baby boys intentionally?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My husband too! Any time I point out discrimination against women, he immediately counters with how oppressed white men are these days, and how the tables have turned against him.

My husband too!! When did white men become oppressed? I thought they were the oppressors?

In what way? I’m trying to understand how woman are paid 83.1% of what men are paid (per 2021 numbers), don’t have rights over their own reproductive system in at least a third of the states (as of 2023), are 10% of Fortune 500 CEOs (as of 2023) , dropped out of the workforce more when COVID hit due to family responsibilities AND still handle most of the household tasks even when working full time per every survey I’ve seen. How can white men be the most oppressed and still on top by every metric or is this a “compared to 1950 when it was okay that women made 60% of what men made …”.

My favorite is the “oh you can’t say anything without …” and yet do you think people in the past didn’t have to hold their tongue against true injustice to keep their jobs or even their lives? My parents definitely had to in order to stay employed.

Women earn less because they, by choice, select careers and jobs that pay less. Typically because they are less unpleasant and more flexible jobs.

This has been asked and answered in DOL studies since as early as the Clinton era.

The careers that pay less do so because they’re traditionally considered “women’s work” and women weren’t the ones who supported the family. Nursing, teaching, child care, social work. How are those easier? Even if women choose flexible jobs, why do they do that? Because they’re also expected to be the primary parent.

Pay isn’t based on difficulty. It’s based on the amount of money the labor makes and the perceived value by the one signing the pay checks.

Roofers work really hard, but they’re not paid very much. Same with landscapers.

On the other hand, lobbyists are paid very well.

It’s not about “traditional gender roles” at all. We just don’t value “hard work” we value ROI, and usually roi measured in the quarter or year… not even long term.

If it’s done by men. The reality is that most people still perceive men > women and every thing women do Ie work, art etc is considered to be less than.

This. And there are clear statistics showing how once a profession becomes dominated by women, its pay decreases in real terms. It has occurred both in teaching, which, when a male
Profession, was considered decently paid, and it occurred in reverse in computer coding, which, which a female profession, was considered clerical and therefore was low paid.

Do you ever stop to do a tiny bit of research and question your priors when you encounter outright propaganda like this? Or do you just swallow it up without a second thought?

We can all see where the propaganda is in these posts.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

You lost me right there.

Not sure why you're getting lost. By and large, men have always been treated as more expendable by society.

In the United States, women who are “biologically more valuable” (fertile women willing to have children) are allowed to die in childbirth at rates not seen anywhere else in the developed world. Society does not take care of women.

You did not refute the point at all. Just came with a random non-sequitur. I wonder why...

Sorry I think perhaps it was too subtle.
Society doesn’t take care of women. White men (your victims) receive the highest social security payments— one might even call it the lions share.

Rape against women is prosecuted at an alarmingly low rate. Law enforcement in cases that were later re-opened because the rapist went on to commit further crimes said on the record that they simply had not believed the accusers despite DNA evidence.

That is not a society that takes care of women.

We are most vulnerable when pregnant. Do you know how pregnant women are treated in the workplace in this country. No male manager wants to hear that he has a pregnant subordinate. We had to create federal laws to ensure we don't lose our jobs because of pregnancy. Crazy poster you are just pulling things out of your a$$

[Anonymous]

In my company, there is definitely a pro-anyone but white male bias in everything from hiring to promotion.

But...results are ultimate what matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how can I get there?

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them. And I think, “yeah. Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return. I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?). But it feels real to him.

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings.

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad? The kids? Their boss? Him? Who?

Society takes care of women, because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

WTH? This is a load of crappola.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.

In most cultures women are not valued. They are considered less than.

Off topic but any time anyone says "less than" as a complete phrase, without specifying what they are less than (i.e., "they are considered less than human"), they immediately reveal themselves to be a low-IQ moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the best part of this thread is saying white men aren’t attacked followed by a clause that clearly attacks white men. Love the irony!

Pages and pages of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not so sure about that...but the one thing I'm sure of, is that heterosexual white men are the single most attacked and hated group in large cities right now...

This comment beyond being false is just truly disgusting in light of the skyrocketing rates of bias attacks against Jews and Asians and the LGBTQ community in the last few years.

White heterosexual men are absolutely NOT the most attacked group of people in the cities, or in the suburbs, or in rural America. They are, however, the biggest whiners and ALWAYS have been.

Seek help.

[Anonymous]

As this thread shows, there are passionate disagreements on this topic. Thank God my wife and I share similar views on these type of issues. Obviously OP and her husband aren’t aligned in their thinking. I feel sorry for them, and for other couples in the same boat.