My husband believes we seriously live in a matriarchy
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Anonymous
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And that he is oppressed by women such as his mother and myself.
Is he delulu? |
Anonymous
| He is correct. And The View |
Anonymous
| Totes delulu. Good luck |
Anonymous
| My husband too! Any time I point out discrimination against women, he immediately counters with how oppressed white men are these days, and how the tables have turned against him. |
Anonymous
| The Longhouse |
Anonymous
| Oppressed?! Good lord men are just lost these days. 5 minutes of the sprouts of something approaching equality and they are absolutely losing their minds. |
Anonymous
HR Ladies run the world now. |
Anonymous
My husband too!! When did white men become oppressed? I thought they were the oppressors? |
Anonymous
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Is he?
My mom always talked about how my (gentle, generally easy-going) dad was the head of the house, but she has a dominant personality that reigned supreme in our house, . She was generally a benevolent dictator, but her authority was definite. As a teenager, my dad once tried to talk to me about how he knew my mom was being unreasonable, but I should try to be patient, understanding, etc. I still regret calling him a doormat. The point is that some people have take charge personalities and others are willing to let them. Other times, a partner can bully the other to the point that conforming to their wishes is easier than dealing with the drama that will come if they’re opposed. If conforming to their wishes leaves you with a negative feeling of 5.5 and opposing them cranks the negativity up to 11, the math is fairly simple. Most individual issues really aren’t that big a deal. Every relationship requires compromise and it’s not so bad giving in this time. The problem comes when someone has to give in every time. In my relationship, my ex-husband became the manipulative bully. It wasn’t because he was sexist. He was simply a controlling jerk. He could be absolutely wonderful most of the time, until he wasn’t. I have no idea about the actual dynamics of your relationship. Maybe you have a well-balanced relationship. He might even have more power than you do. I do know that in most relationships, as each member is an individual with strengths and weaknesses, one person will probably exert somewhat more influence, at least on the little everyday things (which is probably a beneficial, efficient system for a household). It really only matters if, when the other partner wants to assert their position, that it is given equal weight in the negotiation. There are many matriarchy households. There are many patriarchy households. Many households may be based on roughly equal levels of authority, with the balance shifting situationally (one handles finance, while the other handles scheduling, one spends more time with the kids and has a better feel for how to handle them, and maybe one has special expertise with cars, gardening, home repair, etc.) I suspect a lot of families say you handle your (childhood) family the way you want and I’ll deal with mine. Each family establishes its own systems and hierarchy. Hopefully, it works for all involved, but that’s certainly not guaranteed. |
Anonymous
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I think we DO live in a matriarchy in many respects. For example in my husband’s patriarchal culture the father’s mother is by default closer to the kids and the couple, as a rule, lives close to or with the husband’s parents. In our culture, it’s reversed.
That said he sounds like he’s on some red piller BS and not digging into these kinds of nuances. |
Anonymous
| What is their actual data? |
Anonymous
True though. |
Anonymous
| Tell him an inability to differentiate anecdote from data is deeply unsexy. |
Anonymous
| What a maroon. |
Anonymous
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Delulu is my new fave male descriptor.
Thank you. |