Capitol Hill families - If you moved to NW or burbs for school, do you have any regrets?

[Anonymous]

We moved to NW from Capital Hill for more space and better schools when our oldest was in K. There were a bunch of other CH transplants at the open house for his new school.

DS is now in middle school so we’ve been here a while. Like one of the PPs, I don’t like having a yard but other than that, it’s fine. Both our kids are happy, and it took some time but we’ve made some friends and it’s been fine. I don’t know where in NW toy are thinking but we live in AU Park and there are a lot of families with kids of all ages which might making your own friends easier since people are likely to be at the same stage of life. Like your partner, OP, some density was non-negotiable for me (I grew up in a big city and AU Park is the most suburban I’ve ever lived) and I found the area an acceptable compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to our local DCPS school through 5th grade. They've won music/academic scholarships to a private school we can afford with the fi aid. We know that there are other great DC neighborhoods, but we're not moving 25 years into our life on the Hill just for schools. We can't stand the idea of taking care of a yard, having to walk more than 10 mins to a Metro station, or starting over socially. To each her own.

What if you could not afford private for MS (even with scholarships/FA - or you didn’t get either)? What would you have done?

[Anonymous]

Stayed and made the best of Stuart Hobson or DCI (we got a 6th grade spot, a couple close friends of my older daughter commute to DCI together). Tried for Walls for HS or paid for a parochial school like St. John's, or Gonzaga for our boy.

From what I've observed over the years, it's older parents who've been in the neighborhood 15 or 20 years who are most likely to stay, particularly those who work in Congressional offices or for organizations with HQs on/near the Hill (NPR, Heritage Foundation, NASA, Securities and Exchange Commission etc.). If you had your kids in your 20s or 30s, no big deal to reinvent your lives elsewhere for schools. But if you're in your 50s and walk or Metro to work, moving has little appeal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to our local DCPS school through 5th grade. They've won music/academic scholarships to a private school we can afford with the fi aid. We know that there are other great DC neighborhoods, but we're not moving 25 years into our life on the Hill just for schools. We can't stand the idea of taking care of a yard, having to walk more than 10 mins to a Metro station, or starting over socially. To each her own.

We don't walk more than ten minutes to the metro, or the supermarket, or one of 5 coffee shops, or our great middle school here in Arlington. We didn't really start over socially, we kept our old friends and made new ones. We have a yard and pay about $1000/year for someone else to take care of it (we save at least that much in taxes). Sounds like the Hill worked for you because of the scholarships, but honestly I do think some people assume that life outside of the Hill is some kind of suburban hellscape, when it can still be very walkable and pleasant. Our kids are in the car much less since we moved than they were before. And yes, real estate near a metro stop is expensive - but so is the Hill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to our local DCPS school through 5th grade. They've won music/academic scholarships to a private school we can afford with the fi aid. We know that there are other great DC neighborhoods, but we're not moving 25 years into our life on the Hill just for schools. We can't stand the idea of taking care of a yard, having to walk more than 10 mins to a Metro station, or starting over socially. To each her own.

lol yes, “let them eat cake.” ok then.

[Anonymous]

The Hill isn’t expensive if you bought your house 10-20 years ago, like many of us did. Yea, older parents are often the ones who stay. Staying takes much more than lottery luck, it often takes more planning than relocating. Those who don’t research and plan carefully on the schools front far in advance, don’t make Plan Bs, tend to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're considering that same thing. We have kids in middle school so we're really tied into the neighborhood for just about every aspect of our life. Starting over with older kids seems really hard. We've had friends who have left CH over the past couple years. They all seem to be doing fine but no one seems to love their new suburban life. Sure some things are better (like less crime and a bigger house) but other things are tougher. We have one friend who moved to Arlington who just can't get over how insanely competitive everything is for kids (schools, sports etc.). We have another friend who moved to Bethesda and still has no neighborhood friends after 2 years. Apparently their neighborhood has to many retired folks and not many families. I just don't know.

They wouldn’t have moved out of CH if they weren’t “insanely competitive” themselves. Pot meet kettle.

That's not true because we are not competitive at all and are considering moving out of CH. Though admittedly, we are looking more at Silver Spring or maybe even Howard County -- somewhere with decent schools and community, but not where people will commit crimes to get their kids into TJ or spend 3k a month on tutoring and private coaches to make sure their kid is at the top of everything.

Also, there are absolutely competitive people on CH, it's just a different kind of competitiveness. It's the nice-seeming mom who passive-aggressively talks about how much they love SWS's nurturing environment or earnestly explains how much their 7 year old loves kale. Or the person with 8 different versions of "Hate has no home here" signs in their postage stamp yard. It's almost worse because at least the hyper-competitive sports/academics parents are pretty up front about what they are doing and it's transparently about trying to ensure their kids are successful (albeit by a narrow metric). People on CH would never admit they're competitive, and might not even realize their behavior is competitive, and that lack of self-awareness is sometimes exhausting.

Uh, you’ll find plenty of passive-aggressiveness in Arlington too, along with trancelike recitations of how “amazing” the schools are.

[Anonymous]

If you have boys, Gonzaga is a good option.
My boys go there. We are not Catholic or religious but I don’t mind the religion aspect.
Not a bad thing to learn about religion and how important it is to civilisation. My boys love Gonzaga and it has worked out well for us.
It is a nice community.

[Anonymous]

Good for you, PP. We're shooting for Gonzaga.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're considering that same thing. We have kids in middle school so we're really tied into the neighborhood for just about every aspect of our life. Starting over with older kids seems really hard. We've had friends who have left CH over the past couple years. They all seem to be doing fine but no one seems to love their new suburban life. Sure some things are better (like less crime and a bigger house) but other things are tougher. We have one friend who moved to Arlington who just can't get over how insanely competitive everything is for kids (schools, sports etc.). We have another friend who moved to Bethesda and still has no neighborhood friends after 2 years. Apparently their neighborhood has to many retired folks and not many families. I just don't know.

They wouldn’t have moved out of CH if they weren’t “insanely competitive” themselves. Pot meet kettle.

That's not true because we are not competitive at all and are considering moving out of CH. Though admittedly, we are looking more at Silver Spring or maybe even Howard County -- somewhere with decent schools and community, but not where people will commit crimes to get their kids into TJ or spend 3k a month on tutoring and private coaches to make sure their kid is at the top of everything.

Also, there are absolutely competitive people on CH, it's just a different kind of competitiveness. It's the nice-seeming mom who passive-aggressively talks about how much they love SWS's nurturing environment or earnestly explains how much their 7 year old loves kale. Or the person with 8 different versions of "Hate has no home here" signs in their postage stamp yard. It's almost worse because at least the hyper-competitive sports/academics parents are pretty up front about what they are doing and it's transparently about trying to ensure their kids are successful (albeit by a narrow metric). People on CH would never admit they're competitive, and might not even realize their behavior is competitive, and that lack of self-awareness is sometimes exhausting.

Uh, you’ll find plenty of passive-aggressiveness in Arlington too, along with trancelike recitations of how “amazing” the schools are.

Did you miss the part where I said we're leaning toward Silver Spring or Howard County, in part specifically because of the culture and wanting to avoid competitive, passive-aggressive people?

Mostly I was responding to the idea that the people on Capitol Hill are super chill and not competitive compared to people in Arlington or elsewhere. My experience is that people on the Hill can be extremely competitive, but it's in this super narrow way where it's like a competition to prove how progressive, environmentally minded, and modern you are. Like instead of competing based on their kids' swim times or how nice their car is, they'll be quietly competitive about their new e-bike for school drop off, or getting hyper-local food delivery or whatever. And I've found that especially once you hit the parenting years, it wears you down after a time. All the hot parenting debates, like screen time and picky eating, but in this faux-tolerant way, like "oh I think it's GREAT your little one loves Bluey, we've just decided to hold off on screen time as long as we can so our kids mostly just do art projects and practice reading at home." It's not even that I feel attacked, it's more that this is a strange way to interact and I get tired of listening to everyone try to quietly prove that they are the one person who has figured it all out.

Maybe that's everywhere. I'd like to hope that it might not be though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Hill isn’t expensive if you bought your house 10-20 years ago, like many of us did. Yea, older parents are often the ones who stay. Staying takes much more than lottery luck, it often takes more planning than relocating. Those who don’t research and plan carefully on the schools front far in advance, don’t make Plan Bs, tend to go.

Yes, this is true. Even now you can get better rentals zoned for Maury, Brent and LT than in NW. Housing prices are high but still lower than up there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to our local DCPS school through 5th grade. They've won music/academic scholarships to a private school we can afford with the fi aid. We know that there are other great DC neighborhoods, but we're not moving 25 years into our life on the Hill just for schools. We can't stand the idea of taking care of a yard, having to walk more than 10 mins to a Metro station, or starting over socially. To each her own.

We don't walk more than ten minutes to the metro, or the supermarket, or one of 5 coffee shops, or our great middle school here in Arlington. We didn't really start over socially, we kept our old friends and made new ones. We have a yard and pay about $1000/year for someone else to take care of it (we save at least that much in taxes). Sounds like the Hill worked for you because of the scholarships, but honestly I do think some people assume that life outside of the Hill is some kind of suburban hellscape, when it can still be very walkable and pleasant. Our kids are in the car much less since we moved than they were before. And yes, real estate near a metro stop is expensive - but so is the Hill.

I live 2 blocks from Eastern Market, so it’s pleasant, but if I lived in Hill East like so many young families do these days, I’d have moved years ago. So much of the Hill is near nothing and is very inconvenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to our local DCPS school through 5th grade. They've won music/academic scholarships to a private school we can afford with the fi aid. We know that there are other great DC neighborhoods, but we're not moving 25 years into our life on the Hill just for schools. We can't stand the idea of taking care of a yard, having to walk more than 10 mins to a Metro station, or starting over socially. To each her own.

We don't walk more than ten minutes to the metro, or the supermarket, or one of 5 coffee shops, or our great middle school here in Arlington. We didn't really start over socially, we kept our old friends and made new ones. We have a yard and pay about $1000/year for someone else to take care of it (we save at least that much in taxes). Sounds like the Hill worked for you because of the scholarships, but honestly I do think some people assume that life outside of the Hill is some kind of suburban hellscape, when it can still be very walkable and pleasant. Our kids are in the car much less since we moved than they were before. And yes, real estate near a metro stop is expensive - but so is the Hill.

I live 2 blocks from Eastern Market, so it’s pleasant, but if I lived in Hill East like so many young families do these days, I’d have moved years ago. So much of the Hill is near nothing and is very inconvenient.

It is adorable how old timers on the Hill think Eastern Market is the epicenter of area amenities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to our local DCPS school through 5th grade. They've won music/academic scholarships to a private school we can afford with the fi aid. We know that there are other great DC neighborhoods, but we're not moving 25 years into our life on the Hill just for schools. We can't stand the idea of taking care of a yard, having to walk more than 10 mins to a Metro station, or starting over socially. To each her own.

We don't walk more than ten minutes to the metro, or the supermarket, or one of 5 coffee shops, or our great middle school here in Arlington. We didn't really start over socially, we kept our old friends and made new ones. We have a yard and pay about $1000/year for someone else to take care of it (we save at least that much in taxes). Sounds like the Hill worked for you because of the scholarships, but honestly I do think some people assume that life outside of the Hill is some kind of suburban hellscape, when it can still be very walkable and pleasant. Our kids are in the car much less since we moved than they were before. And yes, real estate near a metro stop is expensive - but so is the Hill.

I live 2 blocks from Eastern Market, so it’s pleasant, but if I lived in Hill East like so many young families do these days, I’d have moved years ago. So much of the Hill is near nothing and is very inconvenient.

It is adorable how old timers on the Hill think Eastern Market is the epicenter of area amenities.

I actually think near NE in the LT zone is the sweet spot for amenities. Eastern Market, west side of Lincoln Park, or south of Capitol South within easy walking distance to WF/pretty close to Navy Yard are the other good spots. Near Potomac Ave metro/the Roost/new Safeway also not bad. But Hill East (14th/15th & East) slightly farther north/Maury zone is actually pretty inconvenient to any amenities. Maury is a great school, but that part of the Hill really isn’t very walkable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're considering that same thing. We have kids in middle school so we're really tied into the neighborhood for just about every aspect of our life. Starting over with older kids seems really hard. We've had friends who have left CH over the past couple years. They all seem to be doing fine but no one seems to love their new suburban life. Sure some things are better (like less crime and a bigger house) but other things are tougher. We have one friend who moved to Arlington who just can't get over how insanely competitive everything is for kids (schools, sports etc.). We have another friend who moved to Bethesda and still has no neighborhood friends after 2 years. Apparently their neighborhood has to many retired folks and not many families. I just don't know.

They wouldn’t have moved out of CH if they weren’t “insanely competitive” themselves. Pot meet kettle.

That's not true because we are not competitive at all and are considering moving out of CH. Though admittedly, we are looking more at Silver Spring or maybe even Howard County -- somewhere with decent schools and community, but not where people will commit crimes to get their kids into TJ or spend 3k a month on tutoring and private coaches to make sure their kid is at the top of everything.

Also, there are absolutely competitive people on CH, it's just a different kind of competitiveness. It's the nice-seeming mom who passive-aggressively talks about how much they love SWS's nurturing environment or earnestly explains how much their 7 year old loves kale. Or the person with 8 different versions of "Hate has no home here" signs in their postage stamp yard. It's almost worse because at least the hyper-competitive sports/academics parents are pretty up front about what they are doing and it's transparently about trying to ensure their kids are successful (albeit by a narrow metric). People on CH would never admit they're competitive, and might not even realize their behavior is competitive, and that lack of self-awareness is sometimes exhausting.

Uh, you’ll find plenty of passive-aggressiveness in Arlington too, along with trancelike recitations of how “amazing” the schools are.

Did you miss the part where I said we're leaning toward Silver Spring or Howard County, in part specifically because of the culture and wanting to avoid competitive, passive-aggressive people?

Mostly I was responding to the idea that the people on Capitol Hill are super chill and not competitive compared to people in Arlington or elsewhere. My experience is that people on the Hill can be extremely competitive, but it's in this super narrow way where it's like a competition to prove how progressive, environmentally minded, and modern you are. Like instead of competing based on their kids' swim times or how nice their car is, they'll be quietly competitive about their new e-bike for school drop off, or getting hyper-local food delivery or whatever. And I've found that especially once you hit the parenting years, it wears you down after a time. All the hot parenting debates, like screen time and picky eating, but in this faux-tolerant way, like "oh I think it's GREAT your little one loves Bluey, we've just decided to hold off on screen time as long as we can so our kids mostly just do art projects and practice reading at home." It's not even that I feel attacked, it's more that this is a strange way to interact and I get tired of listening to everyone try to quietly prove that they are the one person who has figured it all out.

Maybe that's everywhere. I'd like to hope that it might not be though!

We don’t live on the Hill but have dear friends who do and DS has many Hill friends. He’s in MS now, but I definitely experienced this behavior from Hill parents (including our friends) over the years. Sometimes I’ve felt like I was in the middle of an SNL skit or an episode of Portlandia.