Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I see the grandparents, I would realize I raised my daughter wrong and be full of regrets.

The grandparents are behaving like entitled brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are selfish entitled jerks. Normally I'd offer to trade the seats, but the way they're going about it makes me never want to vacation with them again.

Honestly I'd call their bluff and say so be it.

+1

[Anonymous]

One parent and one kid each in coach each way. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you should be giving the first class seats to your parents, but it also rude for them to demand it.

+ 1000

This would be the last trip I invite them on.

Agree to all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One parent and one kid each in coach each way. Problem solved.

It doesn't sound like the DH in this situation is super excited to give the entitled grandparents his hard earned business class seats.

[Anonymous]

Who in their right mind invites their parents on a trip?

[Anonymous]

I would just disinvite the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who in their right mind invites their parents on a trip?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s economy, not cargo. The grandparents will survive. If they truly *needed* business class, they would have paid for it. They’re freeloaders. And I bet they are not 85.

Right? It's not that the OP is dining first class on the titanic and sending her parents to steerage. And come ON people, it's what - a 6 hour flight?

9 hours in the air to Athens. 10 on the return. Remember you have to fly all the way across Europe- it's quite a bit further than anywhere in western Europe.

We never go direct - always through AMS or Heathrow.

Again, I think OP and DH should give their seats - if anyone does. But, I don't think I would

The guy who earned the airline miles that are paying for 4 business class seats and all of the hotel rooms, the guy who already spends an inordinate amount of time on airplanes should give up his seat?! That’s nuts.

His wife for sure should she created this mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you parents reasonably afford to upgrade?

OP here. I really don’t know. Money is super secretive with my parents. On the one hand, we were squarely middle class growing up. Dad was military, very controlling. Then, my grandfather (lawyer who owned his own law firm) passed away 15 years ago and left millions to each of his 3 kids, including my mom. There was a lot of extravagant spending for years, but not so much now. Don’t know if my parents are struggling financially and want DH and I to help pay for things or if they’re just milking us for all we’re worth.

OP— your parents have the right to blow through their inheritance. If you don’t want to pay for them, then don’t invite them!!! What’s going to happen once you’re at the destination? Will you always have separate checks? Will you be counting every penny? How is that a vacation??

It's all about expectations and what people are comfortable with. If everyone is on the same page and good with the setup, that's all that matters.

We traveled overseas with another family. Shared a number of meals together (separate accomodations), and we mostly just alternated paying. But one family has one more kid, and it was going to be a bit uneven, plus one of us had a debit card with zero fees to withdraw money, so we covered their cash to save fees. We just had a running Google spreadsheet we shared (each family has one parent who is good with money/spreadsheets), and took pictures of meal receipts. Tracked each families' cost at the end and one family owed the other maybe $200. Venmo, done. Zero arguments, discussions, everybody treated fairly, took maybe 20 minutes of work after the trip to split the costs on the spreadsheet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s economy, not cargo. The grandparents will survive. If they truly *needed* business class, they would have paid for it. They’re freeloaders. And I bet they are not 85.

Right? It's not that the OP is dining first class on the titanic and sending her parents to steerage. And come ON people, it's what - a 6 hour flight?

9 hours in the air to Athens. 10 on the return. Remember you have to fly all the way across Europe- it's quite a bit further than anywhere in western Europe.

We never go direct - always through AMS or Heathrow.

Again, I think OP and DH should give their seats - if anyone does. But, I don't think I would

The guy who earned the airline miles that are paying for 4 business class seats and all of the hotel rooms, the guy who already spends an inordinate amount of time on airplanes should give up his seat?! That’s nuts.

His wife for sure should she created this mess.

So it comes down to money and not family values?
It sounds like OP is in between pleasing her parents and pleasing her husband.

OP should explain to her parents the situation and let them decide what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This speaks to American culture.

Can you imagine this dynamic in an Asian family?

There is no respect for family especially the older family members.

Name another culture where this would even be an issue?

But to be fair, the cultural expectations would be understood by all from the outset in, say, a Japanese family. We don’t have uniformity in cultural expectations here, so OP’s parents have thrown a curveball.

[Anonymous]

Call the grandparents bluff and tell them they can stay home. If they’re being this difficult before the trip you’re guaranteed to be miserable once you get there.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how tall the teens are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't the grandparents booked their own first class tickets? Was first class sold out or did they just not want to spend the money?

I would be so pissed. My FIL tries stuff like this all the time. We stopped vacationing with him many years ago because he was always doing these shakedowns.

OP here. My dad sounds just like your FIL. He is super controlling, demands respect, and throws a temper tantrum anytime he doesn’t get what he wants. He has alienated dozens of family members over the years. He is a textbook narcissist.

Why in the world did you invite them on this trip?
I would cancel the whole trip and rebook for another time without parents. It would be worth it. The trip is tainted now.