comebacks for mean MS kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the POWER to do NOTHING! That’s the upper hand. The bully wants a response. A ‘nothing response’ is more powerful than you think. Practice being emotionless and as if you can see right through them. You showing that you absolutely don’t care about them or their comments is frustrating to the bully.

Yes, the bully wants a response. But not from his victims, from his peers.

So if the victim does nothing, but other people still laugh, or if he still gets to feel 'big' in front of others, then the emotionless response is not effective. Bc the bullying is STILL getting what they want.

This is why doing nothing almost never works.

You either need to avoid or confront.

The people that have advised avoid (ie change schools) have a point: it would end the bullying from that particular child. But its a cumbersome response to a problem that will likely return from a different bully at the new school.

Confront is the only tool that OP's kid can keep with them and deploy as needed

Sometimes you realize how much a school sucks when your kid faces this and the teachers and admin do nothing. If it’s private you’re a customer and can move Easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

I have the same reaction. Are people really teaching their kids to treat other people like this?
I get it, the bullying is hard and damaging, and you just want it to stop.

But good lord, how old are these respondents?
We have no hope for America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

I have the same reaction. Are people really teaching their kids to treat other people like this?
I get it, the bullying is hard and damaging, and you just want it to stop.

But good lord, how old are these respondents?
We have no hope for America.

I'm one of the PP's that has advised to "go nuclear"

I guess my question for you guys is, after you've tried all the other things (avoiding, ignoring, eye rolls, engaging the teachers/administrators, etc), at what point is it ok to stand up for yourself?

At what point is all that just code for "allowing yourself to be abused"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

I have the same reaction. Are people really teaching their kids to treat other people like this?
I get it, the bullying is hard and damaging, and you just want it to stop.

But good lord, how old are these respondents?
We have no hope for America.

I'm one of the PP's that has advised to "go nuclear"

I guess my question for you guys is, after you've tried all the other things (avoiding, ignoring, eye rolls, engaging the teachers/administrators, etc), at what point is it ok to stand up for yourself?

At what point is all that just code for "allowing yourself to be abused"?

It's a "when they go low, we go high" sort of moment of character building for your kid.
I'd rather my child be bullied than coach them to be a bad human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

I have the same reaction. Are people really teaching their kids to treat other people like this?
I get it, the bullying is hard and damaging, and you just want it to stop.

But good lord, how old are these respondents?
We have no hope for America.

I'm one of the PP's that has advised to "go nuclear"

I guess my question for you guys is, after you've tried all the other things (avoiding, ignoring, eye rolls, engaging the teachers/administrators, etc), at what point is it ok to stand up for yourself?

At what point is all that just code for "allowing yourself to be abused"?

It's a "when they go low, we go high" sort of moment of character building for your kid.
I'd rather my child be bullied than coach them to be a bad human.

A moment of character building? Do you know what being bullied does to a kid? Have you seen your kid sink into a depression and have their self esteem completely eroded, seen grades drop and watched their ability to trust and form friendships fade away? Have you seen them smile, and then be startled because you can't remember the last time that happened? If so, I promise you, you'd know that this isn't an opportunity for character building. They don't hear "oh, I get it, I can learn to be a better person by rising above - this will turn me into a stronger, more well rounded person!" They hear "sit there and drown, kid."

Character building. JFC. That's like saying that someone being mugged should reflect on how they can focus less on material things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

I have the same reaction. Are people really teaching their kids to treat other people like this?
I get it, the bullying is hard and damaging, and you just want it to stop.

But good lord, how old are these respondents?
We have no hope for America.

I'm one of the PP's that has advised to "go nuclear"

I guess my question for you guys is, after you've tried all the other things (avoiding, ignoring, eye rolls, engaging the teachers/administrators, etc), at what point is it ok to stand up for yourself?

At what point is all that just code for "allowing yourself to be abused"?

It's a "when they go low, we go high" sort of moment of character building for your kid.
I'd rather my child be bullied than coach them to be a bad human.

A moment of character building? Do you know what being bullied does to a kid? Have you seen your kid sink into a depression and have their self esteem completely eroded, seen grades drop and watched their ability to trust and form friendships fade away? Have you seen them smile, and then be startled because you can't remember the last time that happened? If so, I promise you, you'd know that this isn't an opportunity for character building. They don't hear "oh, I get it, I can learn to be a better person by rising above - this will turn me into a stronger, more well rounded person!" They hear "sit there and drown, kid."

Character building. JFC. That's like saying that someone being mugged should reflect on how they can focus less on material things.

+100

I can't imagine saying "when they go low, we go high" to a kid that comes in tears on a regular basis, or has bowel issues before gym class because they are so nervous, or begs to stay home bc school is so miserable, or they break out in hives, or believe it or not, have hair fall out, or stop eating. they don't leave their rooms at home.

And after you've tried all of it, you just say, "just keep your head down; this will eventually make you a better person"

I'm sorry, but that's wrong. You eventually have to teach the child the real world. Which involves standing up for yourself. There is a valid lesson in: "we don't start the fight, but do we finish them"

And as I said previously, they will need your help on how to be brutal. But they NEED that brutality. You have to help them find it. That is the real world

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, the best middle school comeback is just telling them their mom is a b1tch @ss wh0re, and that theyre fugly and things like that. that worked for me in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, the best middle school comeback is just telling them their mom is a b1tch @ss wh0re, and that theyre fugly and things like that. that worked for me in middle school.

That's pretty good.

What it lacks in creativity, it makes up for in bluntness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

Yeah, I'm sure you just "discovered" it, right???
Like you didn't do a deep dive on Google looking up dirt to use against this kid.
That is a really low blow... way to be proud of giving a kid traumatic information that had nothing to do with you

Not the person you're responding to but . . . I would not lose a single moment's sleep over the "traumatic information" in this scenario. Nope. Nada. Nothing. I'd sleep like a baby, in fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

I have the same reaction. Are people really teaching their kids to treat other people like this?
I get it, the bullying is hard and damaging, and you just want it to stop.

But good lord, how old are these respondents?
We have no hope for America.

I'm one of the PP's that has advised to "go nuclear"

I guess my question for you guys is, after you've tried all the other things (avoiding, ignoring, eye rolls, engaging the teachers/administrators, etc), at what point is it ok to stand up for yourself?

At what point is all that just code for "allowing yourself to be abused"?

It's a "when they go low, we go high" sort of moment of character building for your kid.
I'd rather my child be bullied than coach them to be a bad human.

That's on you and the trauma you're subjecting your kid to. Me, I'd go low. And as low as I could to protect my child. And wouldn't feel bad about it on any level. I wouldn't WISH to do so but my priority is my kid. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

I have the same reaction. Are people really teaching their kids to treat other people like this?
I get it, the bullying is hard and damaging, and you just want it to stop.

But good lord, how old are these respondents?
We have no hope for America.

I'm one of the PP's that has advised to "go nuclear"

I guess my question for you guys is, after you've tried all the other things (avoiding, ignoring, eye rolls, engaging the teachers/administrators, etc), at what point is it ok to stand up for yourself?

At what point is all that just code for "allowing yourself to be abused"?

It's a "when they go low, we go high" sort of moment of character building for your kid.
I'd rather my child be bullied than coach them to be a bad human.

That's on you and the trauma you're subjecting your kid to. Me, I'd go low. And as low as I could to protect my child. And wouldn't feel bad about it on any level. I wouldn't WISH to do so but my priority is my kid. Period.

Agreed. You don't start fights, but you sure as hell finish them.

[Anonymous]

How about:

"F^ck off Dude. Your mom clearly aborted the wrong baby"

That'll get him thinking....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, the best middle school comeback is just telling them their mom is a b1tch @ss wh0re, and that theyre fugly and things like that. that worked for me in middle school.

My son told a bully "at least I don't have an abusive dad" and this worked to end the behaviour. The bully stopped instantly and said 'what?' And apparently reflected just enough to stop harassing my son.

I was a bit taken aback when my son told me this, but in this case it is true. And maybe will have some sort of effect on the bully replaying things that likely happen to him at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, the best middle school comeback is just telling them their mom is a b1tch @ss wh0re, and that theyre fugly and things like that. that worked for me in middle school.

My son told a bully "at least I don't have an abusive dad" and this worked to end the behaviour. The bully stopped instantly and said 'what?' And apparently reflected just enough to stop harassing my son.

I was a bit taken aback when my son told me this, but in this case it is true. And maybe will have some sort of effect on the bully replaying things that likely happen to him at home.

Good for your son! I bet he felt good about himself after standing up for himself.

I seem to be in the minority on this thread, but I would have told him that I was proud of him

[Anonymous]

"Your mom"
or I know you're but what Am i?