Considering making a sign up genius for sports snacks? Is your kid older than 1st grade? Then DON'T

[Anonymous]

TESTIFY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I agree, it’s awful. Luckily once your kid gets good, they get into travel teams where this is looked down upon. Not surprisingly the kids of the parents who insist on snacks are never the once who get good.

Did that make you feel good? Because I can’t imagine that it did.

+1. Gross

What is gross is insisting your constant need to feed your kids junk food is more important than anyone else’s desires with respect to what they feed their children. It’s not enough for you to feed your own kids junk food. You need to offer it and push it on all other kids. It’s disgusting behavior.

YOUR
KIDS
DON’T
HAVE
TO
EAT
IT
DRAMA
QUEEN

And you don’t have to bring Hostess Mini Cupcakes for the whole team because you can’t bear the looks you know you’ll get when you give them only to your kid. We know who is the real drama queen here. I mean, you are the one typing in all caps because you can’t bear the fact that people don’t like it when you force junk food on other people’s kids so they are as badly nourished as your own kids are.

Do the words “no, thank you” not exist in your world? Teach your kid manners and then there are no problems. Surely they would never want this gross food so what are you so worried about?

Again, why is it so important to you to feed other people’s kids? It’s bizarre how insistent you are that you have some entitlement to do this.

Take it up with the people on your own kid's team. Why are you fighting people here? For someone who feels so strongly about this its bizarre that you don't address it with the actual people trying to feed your (possibly imagined) kid. Why have you not done this? I mean, this is such an important issue to you, yet you bizarrely don't seem to actually do anything about it.

You are deluding yourself that you are in the majority here. If you’d been reading these comments objectively, you’d realize that more people want to stop the group snacks than continue them.

Yet they persist. Why is that?

Because it takes just one misguided person to start it. Then the other parents feel obligated, and it requires someone being (politely) confrontational to undo the one mom’s action. And, as you can see from this thread, the yay-snacks mom likely be insistent about it.

No one on this thread is being insistent about anything, we’ve been advising the no-snacks people to speak up. If this is a consistent issue for your team, it’s best to address it early on in the season rather than after a list has gone out. Maybe instead of being no-snacks, recommend an end of season or last game healthy snack party.

The yay-snacks people are always incredibly insistent.

You run your mouth on here pretty well, but when it comes to it you can't figure out how to just say "no" to some pushy sports mom? It's so easy to ignore the sign-up. I do it all the time. Usually there are more kids than games. Nobody even notices. It's comical that this is so devastating to people on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I agree, it’s awful. Luckily once your kid gets good, they get into travel teams where this is looked down upon. Not surprisingly the kids of the parents who insist on snacks are never the once who get good.

Did that make you feel good? Because I can’t imagine that it did.

+1. Gross

What is gross is insisting your constant need to feed your kids junk food is more important than anyone else’s desires with respect to what they feed their children. It’s not enough for you to feed your own kids junk food. You need to offer it and push it on all other kids. It’s disgusting behavior.

YOUR
KIDS
DON’T
HAVE
TO
EAT
IT
DRAMA
QUEEN

And you don’t have to bring Hostess Mini Cupcakes for the whole team because you can’t bear the looks you know you’ll get when you give them only to your kid. We know who is the real drama queen here. I mean, you are the one typing in all caps because you can’t bear the fact that people don’t like it when you force junk food on other people’s kids so they are as badly nourished as your own kids are.

Do the words “no, thank you” not exist in your world? Teach your kid manners and then there are no problems. Surely they would never want this gross food so what are you so worried about?

Again, why is it so important to you to feed other people’s kids? It’s bizarre how insistent you are that you have some entitlement to do this.

Take it up with the people on your own kid's team. Why are you fighting people here? For someone who feels so strongly about this its bizarre that you don't address it with the actual people trying to feed your (possibly imagined) kid. Why have you not done this? I mean, this is such an important issue to you, yet you bizarrely don't seem to actually do anything about it.

You are deluding yourself that you are in the majority here. If you’d been reading these comments objectively, you’d realize that more people want to stop the group snacks than continue them.

Yet they persist. Why is that?

Because it takes just one misguided person to start it. Then the other parents feel obligated, and it requires someone being (politely) confrontational to undo the one mom’s action. And, as you can see from this thread, the yay-snacks mom likely be insistent about it.

No one on this thread is being insistent about anything, we’ve been advising the no-snacks people to speak up. If this is a consistent issue for your team, it’s best to address it early on in the season rather than after a list has gone out. Maybe instead of being no-snacks, recommend an end of season or last game healthy snack party.

The yay-snacks people are always incredibly insistent.

You run your mouth on here pretty well, but when it comes to it you can't figure out how to just say "no" to some pushy sports mom? It's so easy to ignore the sign-up. I do it all the time. Usually there are more kids than games. Nobody even notices. It's comical that this is so devastating to people on here.

Passive aggressive trolls

[Anonymous]

I am confused. Are random team parents sending out snack signups, as opposed to the coach or team manager?

I agree that snacks are unnecessary, but also that chips and Gatorade once a week will not harm my kids in the slightest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mom who made the signup genius for our team also pinged me when I hadn't signed up for a slot in the first 24 hours it went live.

This is the real issue. If snack sign ups were actually voluntary, people probably wouldn't hate them so much. But they aren't. For the parents who think they are important, they are an essential part of an activity and anyone who doesn't participate is a jerk. That's why parents who don't want to do the snack sign ups for whatever reason (they have a picky eater or a kid with allergies, they are already overextended with work and kid stuff, they can't afford it, etc.) get frustrated. Because it's presented as an option thing and then it isn't actually optional. Which is rude.

Also, for those of you who like the sign ups and might consider pulling something like the above and harassing a parent who hasn't signed up, here is a short anecdote that I think will give you pause:

Last year my family hit some financial difficulties and qualified for SNAP benefits for a time, which we took advantage of. It was only about 6 months but during that time it was such a relief to know that I could do grocery shopping for the family without having to go into credit card debt for it, and that I could buy healthy foods for our DC without having to stress about how much fresh produce or eggs or yogurt cost (by the way, I can list the average price for all those items and how much higher they are now than they were two years ago without checking because that's how closely we have to pay attention to grocery spending).

Our kid is in an activity they really love and we feel extremely lucky to get to participate. There is a partial scholarship and then a relative pays the balance. The activity has an annual performance and the my child's participation in that was covered by the school last year which was a godsend because this was during our financial crisis and we would otherwise not have been able to do it. Even with the scholarship, we had other expenditures that were tough on us, stuff like transportation to the event and some materials not covered by the school. So we felt especially financially stretched at this time.

One of the parents organized a snack sign up for the event and sent it around. It specified that the items needed to be individually and professionally packaged (so I couldn't make something at home) and what size items were to be provided. I knew what a stretch it would be for us to do it so I waited it out. But the organizer approached me twice about signing up so finally I did. I know I could have told her about our financial situation but it's not something I like to disclose to people. We knew we were probably the poorest people participating in this activity but I didn't want to advertise that -- I wanted my DC to feel like she just belonged, like she was no different.

So at a time when I was pinching every penny, cooking every meal at home using money saving recipes, and buying our groceries with food stamps, I went out and spent close to $50 on sports drinks and pre-packaged snack items for a group of very privileged children and I had to put it on my EBT card.

You don't know what other people's situations are. Stop volunteering their time and their money without asking them first. If you want to do these sign ups fine, but make it crystal clear to everyone involved that it is 100% voluntary and that people should only do it if they really want to. And don't harass a parent who hasn't signed up -- you don't know what their situation is or what you are asking of them. It might not be a big deal to you but it could be a big deal to them.

The pro-snack people don’t care about this. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Their junk food addiction drives them and they cannot think of anything else or anyone else.

I’m sorry you went through this. Anyone normal would consider it appalling. Unfortunately that’s not the junk food addicts.

I'm pro snack and a coach. Pp, this situation is exactly why I have never followed up on anyone who hasn't signed up. I don't even pay attention to who didn't sign up. The one time a slot was left open, I provided the snack and I think it would have been fine to tell the kids "sorry guys, no snacks today." I'm sorry your leader was such a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I agree, it’s awful. Luckily once your kid gets good, they get into travel teams where this is looked down upon. Not surprisingly the kids of the parents who insist on snacks are never the once who get good.

Did that make you feel good? Because I can’t imagine that it did.

+1. Gross

What is gross is insisting your constant need to feed your kids junk food is more important than anyone else’s desires with respect to what they feed their children. It’s not enough for you to feed your own kids junk food. You need to offer it and push it on all other kids. It’s disgusting behavior.

YOUR
KIDS
DON’T
HAVE
TO
EAT
IT
DRAMA
QUEEN

And you don’t have to bring Hostess Mini Cupcakes for the whole team because you can’t bear the looks you know you’ll get when you give them only to your kid. We know who is the real drama queen here. I mean, you are the one typing in all caps because you can’t bear the fact that people don’t like it when you force junk food on other people’s kids so they are as badly nourished as your own kids are.

Do the words “no, thank you” not exist in your world? Teach your kid manners and then there are no problems. Surely they would never want this gross food so what are you so worried about?

Again, why is it so important to you to feed other people’s kids? It’s bizarre how insistent you are that you have some entitlement to do this.

Take it up with the people on your own kid's team. Why are you fighting people here? For someone who feels so strongly about this its bizarre that you don't address it with the actual people trying to feed your (possibly imagined) kid. Why have you not done this? I mean, this is such an important issue to you, yet you bizarrely don't seem to actually do anything about it.

You are deluding yourself that you are in the majority here. If you’d been reading these comments objectively, you’d realize that more people want to stop the group snacks than continue them.

Yet they persist. Why is that?

Because it takes just one misguided person to start it. Then the other parents feel obligated, and it requires someone being (politely) confrontational to undo the one mom’s action. And, as you can see from this thread, the yay-snacks mom likely be insistent about it.

No one on this thread is being insistent about anything, we’ve been advising the no-snacks people to speak up. If this is a consistent issue for your team, it’s best to address it early on in the season rather than after a list has gone out. Maybe instead of being no-snacks, recommend an end of season or last game healthy snack party.

Have you not seen the multiple stories of people who DID speak up and were overrules by gotta-have-snacks mom? And shamed for being some sort of anti-fun police?
I'm the one who was a coach and even as a coach in a position of sorta-kinda-authority, when I said no snacks, a mom went ahead and did it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused. Are random team parents sending out snack signups, as opposed to the coach or team manager?

I agree that snacks are unnecessary, but also that chips and Gatorade once a week will not harm my kids in the slightest.

Once per week for that particular activity…and every other think your child is in or attends. It’s ridiculous. Can’t we just stop throwing junk at kids from every direction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mom who made the signup genius for our team also pinged me when I hadn't signed up for a slot in the first 24 hours it went live.

This is the real issue. If snack sign ups were actually voluntary, people probably wouldn't hate them so much. But they aren't. For the parents who think they are important, they are an essential part of an activity and anyone who doesn't participate is a jerk. That's why parents who don't want to do the snack sign ups for whatever reason (they have a picky eater or a kid with allergies, they are already overextended with work and kid stuff, they can't afford it, etc.) get frustrated. Because it's presented as an option thing and then it isn't actually optional. Which is rude.

Also, for those of you who like the sign ups and might consider pulling something like the above and harassing a parent who hasn't signed up, here is a short anecdote that I think will give you pause:

Last year my family hit some financial difficulties and qualified for SNAP benefits for a time, which we took advantage of. It was only about 6 months but during that time it was such a relief to know that I could do grocery shopping for the family without having to go into credit card debt for it, and that I could buy healthy foods for our DC without having to stress about how much fresh produce or eggs or yogurt cost (by the way, I can list the average price for all those items and how much higher they are now than they were two years ago without checking because that's how closely we have to pay attention to grocery spending).

Our kid is in an activity they really love and we feel extremely lucky to get to participate. There is a partial scholarship and then a relative pays the balance. The activity has an annual performance and the my child's participation in that was covered by the school last year which was a godsend because this was during our financial crisis and we would otherwise not have been able to do it. Even with the scholarship, we had other expenditures that were tough on us, stuff like transportation to the event and some materials not covered by the school. So we felt especially financially stretched at this time.

One of the parents organized a snack sign up for the event and sent it around. It specified that the items needed to be individually and professionally packaged (so I couldn't make something at home) and what size items were to be provided. I knew what a stretch it would be for us to do it so I waited it out. But the organizer approached me twice about signing up so finally I did. I know I could have told her about our financial situation but it's not something I like to disclose to people. We knew we were probably the poorest people participating in this activity but I didn't want to advertise that -- I wanted my DC to feel like she just belonged, like she was no different.

So at a time when I was pinching every penny, cooking every meal at home using money saving recipes, and buying our groceries with food stamps, I went out and spent close to $50 on sports drinks and pre-packaged snack items for a group of very privileged children and I had to put it on my EBT card.

You don't know what other people's situations are. Stop volunteering their time and their money without asking them first. If you want to do these sign ups fine, but make it crystal clear to everyone involved that it is 100% voluntary and that people should only do it if they really want to. And don't harass a parent who hasn't signed up -- you don't know what their situation is or what you are asking of them. It might not be a big deal to you but it could be a big deal to them.

The pro-snack people don’t care about this. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Their junk food addiction drives them and they cannot think of anything else or anyone else.

I’m sorry you went through this. Anyone normal would consider it appalling. Unfortunately that’s not the junk food addicts.

I'm pro snack and a coach. Pp, this situation is exactly why I have never followed up on anyone who hasn't signed up. I don't even pay attention to who didn't sign up. The one time a slot was left open, I provided the snack and I think it would have been fine to tell the kids "sorry guys, no snacks today." I'm sorry your leader was such a jerk.

Understand by being a pro-snacks coach, you’ve probably put some struggling family through this, and you did not even know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I agree, it’s awful. Luckily once your kid gets good, they get into travel teams where this is looked down upon. Not surprisingly the kids of the parents who insist on snacks are never the once who get good.

Did that make you feel good? Because I can’t imagine that it did.

+1. Gross

What is gross is insisting your constant need to feed your kids junk food is more important than anyone else’s desires with respect to what they feed their children. It’s not enough for you to feed your own kids junk food. You need to offer it and push it on all other kids. It’s disgusting behavior.

YOUR
KIDS
DON’T
HAVE
TO
EAT
IT
DRAMA
QUEEN

And you don’t have to bring Hostess Mini Cupcakes for the whole team because you can’t bear the looks you know you’ll get when you give them only to your kid. We know who is the real drama queen here. I mean, you are the one typing in all caps because you can’t bear the fact that people don’t like it when you force junk food on other people’s kids so they are as badly nourished as your own kids are.

Do the words “no, thank you” not exist in your world? Teach your kid manners and then there are no problems. Surely they would never want this gross food so what are you so worried about?

Again, why is it so important to you to feed other people’s kids? It’s bizarre how insistent you are that you have some entitlement to do this.

Take it up with the people on your own kid's team. Why are you fighting people here? For someone who feels so strongly about this its bizarre that you don't address it with the actual people trying to feed your (possibly imagined) kid. Why have you not done this? I mean, this is such an important issue to you, yet you bizarrely don't seem to actually do anything about it.

You are deluding yourself that you are in the majority here. If you’d been reading these comments objectively, you’d realize that more people want to stop the group snacks than continue them.

Yet they persist. Why is that?

Because it takes just one misguided person to start it. Then the other parents feel obligated, and it requires someone being (politely) confrontational to undo the one mom’s action. And, as you can see from this thread, the yay-snacks mom likely be insistent about it.

No one on this thread is being insistent about anything, we’ve been advising the no-snacks people to speak up. If this is a consistent issue for your team, it’s best to address it early on in the season rather than after a list has gone out. Maybe instead of being no-snacks, recommend an end of season or last game healthy snack party.

Have you not seen the multiple stories of people who DID speak up and were overrules by gotta-have-snacks mom? And shamed for being some sort of anti-fun police?
I'm the one who was a coach and even as a coach in a position of sorta-kinda-authority, when I said no snacks, a mom went ahead and did it anyway.

My kid was on a team once where the coach said no snacks repeatedly, in emails and in the parent meetings. Nonetheless a subset of the parents insisted on not just on ignoring the coach, but also on making giant decorated snack bags every week with themes. It was obviously intended to give the coach a giant metaphorical finger.

I’m almost to the point where if I hear a parent demanding post-game snacks, I quietly flag them as having poor moral character. They are always the yelling ones at the games as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mom who made the signup genius for our team also pinged me when I hadn't signed up for a slot in the first 24 hours it went live.

This is the real issue. If snack sign ups were actually voluntary, people probably wouldn't hate them so much. But they aren't. For the parents who think they are important, they are an essential part of an activity and anyone who doesn't participate is a jerk. That's why parents who don't want to do the snack sign ups for whatever reason (they have a picky eater or a kid with allergies, they are already overextended with work and kid stuff, they can't afford it, etc.) get frustrated. Because it's presented as an option thing and then it isn't actually optional. Which is rude.

Also, for those of you who like the sign ups and might consider pulling something like the above and harassing a parent who hasn't signed up, here is a short anecdote that I think will give you pause:

Last year my family hit some financial difficulties and qualified for SNAP benefits for a time, which we took advantage of. It was only about 6 months but during that time it was such a relief to know that I could do grocery shopping for the family without having to go into credit card debt for it, and that I could buy healthy foods for our DC without having to stress about how much fresh produce or eggs or yogurt cost (by the way, I can list the average price for all those items and how much higher they are now than they were two years ago without checking because that's how closely we have to pay attention to grocery spending).

Our kid is in an activity they really love and we feel extremely lucky to get to participate. There is a partial scholarship and then a relative pays the balance. The activity has an annual performance and the my child's participation in that was covered by the school last year which was a godsend because this was during our financial crisis and we would otherwise not have been able to do it. Even with the scholarship, we had other expenditures that were tough on us, stuff like transportation to the event and some materials not covered by the school. So we felt especially financially stretched at this time.

One of the parents organized a snack sign up for the event and sent it around. It specified that the items needed to be individually and professionally packaged (so I couldn't make something at home) and what size items were to be provided. I knew what a stretch it would be for us to do it so I waited it out. But the organizer approached me twice about signing up so finally I did. I know I could have told her about our financial situation but it's not something I like to disclose to people. We knew we were probably the poorest people participating in this activity but I didn't want to advertise that -- I wanted my DC to feel like she just belonged, like she was no different.

So at a time when I was pinching every penny, cooking every meal at home using money saving recipes, and buying our groceries with food stamps, I went out and spent close to $50 on sports drinks and pre-packaged snack items for a group of very privileged children and I had to put it on my EBT card.

You don't know what other people's situations are. Stop volunteering their time and their money without asking them first. If you want to do these sign ups fine, but make it crystal clear to everyone involved that it is 100% voluntary and that people should only do it if they really want to. And don't harass a parent who hasn't signed up -- you don't know what their situation is or what you are asking of them. It might not be a big deal to you but it could be a big deal to them.

The pro-snack people don’t care about this. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Their junk food addiction drives them and they cannot think of anything else or anyone else.

I’m sorry you went through this. Anyone normal would consider it appalling. Unfortunately that’s not the junk food addicts.

I'm pro snack and a coach. Pp, this situation is exactly why I have never followed up on anyone who hasn't signed up. I don't even pay attention to who didn't sign up. The one time a slot was left open, I provided the snack and I think it would have been fine to tell the kids "sorry guys, no snacks today." I'm sorry your leader was such a jerk.

Understand by being a pro-snacks coach, you’ve probably put some struggling family through this, and you did not even know.

I'm the PP who told the story about having to pay for snacks with an EBT card.

I have mixed feelings about this because after this all happened, the activity coach actually learned of what happened (basically when I showed up with the snacks) and was upset that I'd felt compelled to do this because she was aware that my kid was on scholarship and that our participation in this event was a financial hardship. She offered to reimburse me for it but I couldn't take her money because I felt too guilty. I already felt guilty about the fact that we needed food stamps! Like there can be a lot of shame for a family who is struggling. The idea of taking cash from this woman who had already helped us so much to be able to do it at all was so shameful to me, so I said no. After all, I had not technically bought the snacks -- the government did.

Mostly I think people just need to be more self-aware. It was clear that the mom who was insistent about everyone signing up had never considered for a second that there might be a family participating that did not have their resources. Like it just never occurred to her. I do sometimes wonder what she would have done if I'd explained it to her. Maybe apologized and learned a lesson. But I've been around long enough to know that it is as likely that she would have gotten defensive and accusatory, maybe implied that we didn't deserve food stamps if we could afford to be in that activity (which as I've explained, we couldn't really but made it work with help from the school and others). Maybe she's one of those people who think no one should get food stamps. I don't know. I didn't want to find out, so I just went along.

So that's why I'm saying to everyone on this thread: YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN HANDLE. Again, if you want to do these sign ups fine, but don't make it compulsory and go out of your way to make sure people know it isn't. That goes for whether you're a coach or a parent or whatever. Just consider for a second that not everyone is like you and may not be able to do what you want to do, and leave a door open to them.

Alternatively, get these expectations written into the activity sign up so that families know ahead of time that if they participate, they are also going to be expected to spend X dollars on snacks or whatever. Like just be clear so people know what they are signing up for. Don't wait until you have a captive audience and then bully people into spending money that might actually be a big deal for them (or just doing something they don't want to do) because it's too late to pull their kid or because they are worried their kid will be disciriminated against because their family didn't "contribute" like they were supposed to.

Just be more self aware and open minded. Not everyone is just like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mom who made the signup genius for our team also pinged me when I hadn't signed up for a slot in the first 24 hours it went live.

This is the real issue. If snack sign ups were actually voluntary, people probably wouldn't hate them so much. But they aren't. For the parents who think they are important, they are an essential part of an activity and anyone who doesn't participate is a jerk. That's why parents who don't want to do the snack sign ups for whatever reason (they have a picky eater or a kid with allergies, they are already overextended with work and kid stuff, they can't afford it, etc.) get frustrated. Because it's presented as an option thing and then it isn't actually optional. Which is rude.

Also, for those of you who like the sign ups and might consider pulling something like the above and harassing a parent who hasn't signed up, here is a short anecdote that I think will give you pause:

Last year my family hit some financial difficulties and qualified for SNAP benefits for a time, which we took advantage of. It was only about 6 months but during that time it was such a relief to know that I could do grocery shopping for the family without having to go into credit card debt for it, and that I could buy healthy foods for our DC without having to stress about how much fresh produce or eggs or yogurt cost (by the way, I can list the average price for all those items and how much higher they are now than they were two years ago without checking because that's how closely we have to pay attention to grocery spending).

Our kid is in an activity they really love and we feel extremely lucky to get to participate. There is a partial scholarship and then a relative pays the balance. The activity has an annual performance and the my child's participation in that was covered by the school last year which was a godsend because this was during our financial crisis and we would otherwise not have been able to do it. Even with the scholarship, we had other expenditures that were tough on us, stuff like transportation to the event and some materials not covered by the school. So we felt especially financially stretched at this time.

One of the parents organized a snack sign up for the event and sent it around. It specified that the items needed to be individually and professionally packaged (so I couldn't make something at home) and what size items were to be provided. I knew what a stretch it would be for us to do it so I waited it out. But the organizer approached me twice about signing up so finally I did. I know I could have told her about our financial situation but it's not something I like to disclose to people. We knew we were probably the poorest people participating in this activity but I didn't want to advertise that -- I wanted my DC to feel like she just belonged, like she was no different.

So at a time when I was pinching every penny, cooking every meal at home using money saving recipes, and buying our groceries with food stamps, I went out and spent close to $50 on sports drinks and pre-packaged snack items for a group of very privileged children and I had to put it on my EBT card.

You don't know what other people's situations are. Stop volunteering their time and their money without asking them first. If you want to do these sign ups fine, but make it crystal clear to everyone involved that it is 100% voluntary and that people should only do it if they really want to. And don't harass a parent who hasn't signed up -- you don't know what their situation is or what you are asking of them. It might not be a big deal to you but it could be a big deal to them.

The pro-snack people don’t care about this. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Their junk food addiction drives them and they cannot think of anything else or anyone else.

I’m sorry you went through this. Anyone normal would consider it appalling. Unfortunately that’s not the junk food addicts.

I'm pro snack and a coach. Pp, this situation is exactly why I have never followed up on anyone who hasn't signed up. I don't even pay attention to who didn't sign up. The one time a slot was left open, I provided the snack and I think it would have been fine to tell the kids "sorry guys, no snacks today." I'm sorry your leader was such a jerk.

Understand by being a pro-snacks coach, you’ve probably put some struggling family through this, and you did not even know.

I'm the PP who told the story about having to pay for snacks with an EBT card.

I have mixed feelings about this because after this all happened, the activity coach actually learned of what happened (basically when I showed up with the snacks) and was upset that I'd felt compelled to do this because she was aware that my kid was on scholarship and that our participation in this event was a financial hardship. She offered to reimburse me for it but I couldn't take her money because I felt too guilty. I already felt guilty about the fact that we needed food stamps! Like there can be a lot of shame for a family who is struggling. The idea of taking cash from this woman who had already helped us so much to be able to do it at all was so shameful to me, so I said no. After all, I had not technically bought the snacks -- the government did.

Mostly I think people just need to be more self-aware. It was clear that the mom who was insistent about everyone signing up had never considered for a second that there might be a family participating that did not have their resources. Like it just never occurred to her. I do sometimes wonder what she would have done if I'd explained it to her. Maybe apologized and learned a lesson. But I've been around long enough to know that it is as likely that she would have gotten defensive and accusatory, maybe implied that we didn't deserve food stamps if we could afford to be in that activity (which as I've explained, we couldn't really but made it work with help from the school and others). Maybe she's one of those people who think no one should get food stamps. I don't know. I didn't want to find out, so I just went along.

So that's why I'm saying to everyone on this thread: YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN HANDLE. Again, if you want to do these sign ups fine, but don't make it compulsory and go out of your way to make sure people know it isn't. That goes for whether you're a coach or a parent or whatever. Just consider for a second that not everyone is like you and may not be able to do what you want to do, and leave a door open to them.

Alternatively, get these expectations written into the activity sign up so that families know ahead of time that if they participate, they are also going to be expected to spend X dollars on snacks or whatever. Like just be clear so people know what they are signing up for. Don't wait until you have a captive audience and then bully people into spending money that might actually be a big deal for them (or just doing something they don't want to do) because it's too late to pull their kid or because they are worried their kid will be disciriminated against because their family didn't "contribute" like they were supposed to.

Just be more self aware and open minded. Not everyone is just like you.

Your post is thoughtful and spot-on, but I don’t think the pro-snack parents will care or listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mom who made the signup genius for our team also pinged me when I hadn't signed up for a slot in the first 24 hours it went live.

That’s rude. I would tell her directly that you aren’t going to be participating.

Sure you would

I would have zero problems doing this.

[Anonymous]

Kids don’t need a freaking snack every five minutes. It’s ridiculous. Other countries just don’t do this.

If you have conditioned your kid to need a snack every hour then you can give your own kid a snack in your own car on the way home. Let the rest of the families raise their kids a different way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a bizarre thing to complain about.

I coach a rec sports team and do a sign up genius for snacks. But we only need 8 parents to volunteer per season, out of 15 families. And the spots are taken within a day, so clearly there are parents who don't mind bringing something. Also most parents on our team bring pretzels or pirates booty - not exactly super healthy, but not pure sugar. And if there were a kid on our team with an allergy, we would definitely accommodate (in fact, on another kid's team, there is a gluten allergy, so parents bring gluten free snacks).

Seriously, if it's too much for you, don't volunteer to bring something.

It’s not just about volunteering to bring snacks. I don’t want my kid having a snack after his game. It guarantees he won’t eat his next meal. We also try to avoid crap like Gatorade and Capri Sun but I’m not going to prevent him from eating/drinking the junk if the rest of his teammates have it in front of him.

Kids don’t need constant snacks. Our junk food culture is why we have such an obesity problem.

Oh geez, you don't even need to complain then. Tell your kid he's not allowed to have a snack. Sometimes the simplest solution is looking you right in the eye.

No, quit feeding him. No kid should have to turn down snacks multiple times a day. Either you and your family are overweight and don’t recognize it as unhealthy, or you have no trouble being naturally thin and have no empathy for people who have a hard time not eating or turning down sugar, etc.

I understand parenting your child the way you see fit which means if you don't allow snacks, you can tell your child not to eat snacks. I think that would be more trouble than it's worth though. Having a bag of goldfish after sweating and running for an hour doesn't ruin my son's appetite or make him fat. Therefore, I allow it. I have a friend who doesn't allow snacks other than fruits and veggies. Her kids are trained to decline offers of anything else.

I get your point that it's hard to make your child follow rules that exclude him from the group. But it's simpler to control your kids than to control the whole team.

Here’s the thing: Everybody can just bring their own snacks.

You bringing snacks for the team is “controlling the team”! How can you not see that?!

Why do some of you insist on feeding other people’s kids when it has nothing to do with the sport they signed up for?

In the same token, You are trying to control the team by dictating no one can brings snacks. Tell you kid to decline the group snack and bring your own. What's really going on here is you don't want to bring a group snack but dont have the balls to say so to the group for fear you will be labeled "that" parent right? But you are "that" parent so let your flag fly and own it. You don't get to dictate to other adults whether they can volunteer to bring a snack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mom who made the signup genius for our team also pinged me when I hadn't signed up for a slot in the first 24 hours it went live.

This is the real issue. If snack sign ups were actually voluntary, people probably wouldn't hate them so much. But they aren't. For the parents who think they are important, they are an essential part of an activity and anyone who doesn't participate is a jerk. That's why parents who don't want to do the snack sign ups for whatever reason (they have a picky eater or a kid with allergies, they are already overextended with work and kid stuff, they can't afford it, etc.) get frustrated. Because it's presented as an option thing and then it isn't actually optional. Which is rude.

Also, for those of you who like the sign ups and might consider pulling something like the above and harassing a parent who hasn't signed up, here is a short anecdote that I think will give you pause:

Last year my family hit some financial difficulties and qualified for SNAP benefits for a time, which we took advantage of. It was only about 6 months but during that time it was such a relief to know that I could do grocery shopping for the family without having to go into credit card debt for it, and that I could buy healthy foods for our DC without having to stress about how much fresh produce or eggs or yogurt cost (by the way, I can list the average price for all those items and how much higher they are now than they were two years ago without checking because that's how closely we have to pay attention to grocery spending).

Our kid is in an activity they really love and we feel extremely lucky to get to participate. There is a partial scholarship and then a relative pays the balance. The activity has an annual performance and the my child's participation in that was covered by the school last year which was a godsend because this was during our financial crisis and we would otherwise not have been able to do it. Even with the scholarship, we had other expenditures that were tough on us, stuff like transportation to the event and some materials not covered by the school. So we felt especially financially stretched at this time.

One of the parents organized a snack sign up for the event and sent it around. It specified that the items needed to be individually and professionally packaged (so I couldn't make something at home) and what size items were to be provided. I knew what a stretch it would be for us to do it so I waited it out. But the organizer approached me twice about signing up so finally I did. I know I could have told her about our financial situation but it's not something I like to disclose to people. We knew we were probably the poorest people participating in this activity but I didn't want to advertise that -- I wanted my DC to feel like she just belonged, like she was no different.

So at a time when I was pinching every penny, cooking every meal at home using money saving recipes, and buying our groceries with food stamps, I went out and spent close to $50 on sports drinks and pre-packaged snack items for a group of very privileged children and I had to put it on my EBT card.

You don't know what other people's situations are. Stop volunteering their time and their money without asking them first. If you want to do these sign ups fine, but make it crystal clear to everyone involved that it is 100% voluntary and that people should only do it if they really want to. And don't harass a parent who hasn't signed up -- you don't know what their situation is or what you are asking of them. It might not be a big deal to you but it could be a big deal to them.

The pro-snack people don’t care about this. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Their junk food addiction drives them and they cannot think of anything else or anyone else.

I’m sorry you went through this. Anyone normal would consider it appalling. Unfortunately that’s not the junk food addicts.

I'm pro snack and a coach. Pp, this situation is exactly why I have never followed up on anyone who hasn't signed up. I don't even pay attention to who didn't sign up. The one time a slot was left open, I provided the snack and I think it would have been fine to tell the kids "sorry guys, no snacks today." I'm sorry your leader was such a jerk.

Understand by being a pro-snacks coach, you’ve probably put some struggling family through this, and you did not even know.

Then don't sign up if you don't have the money. That's common sense.