My abortion story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As OP mentioned and others, we need to stop the illusion that late maternal age (after 35) is low risk, it's not we should be having our children in late 20s or early 30s. The vast majority of defects and issues are from late material age pregnancies.

Irrelevant.

Totally irrelevant. I know a 26 year old who had a baby with Genetic mutations incompatible with life. It can happen to anyone at any age. I will also note that it’s an environmental Justice issue too. Exposure to harmful contamination can cause birth defects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abortion is one of those things you can be fully, 100 percent against - until you need one. My catholic best childhood friend was against abortion rights until she got pregnant at 19. She got an abortion.

This x 1,000, 000

I grew up Catholic and going to Catholic schools. The first person I knew to have an abortion was a very pro life and had participated in rallies with our church and had actually cried tears while talking about the issue with others. When she got pregnancy as a freshman in college her first thought was to have an abortion which she did. She didn’t regret it. She still attends church, married has kids.

I absolutely believe a woman has the right to terminate a pregnancy. But then again, I also absolutely believe that a person has a right to refuse vaccines. And the absolute right to refuse any and/or all medical interventions and medications. (as long as they are a legal competent adult) It’s their body, their life, their choice. I absolutely don’t support most pro choice organizations because they don’t believe these things. If you say “my body, my choice” but believe it only aligns with this one issue, then you don’t really believe it and I can understand why pro life proponents don’t take you seriously.

Reproductive choices don't make anyone else sick. The choice to not get your kids the typical childhood vaccinations has made other people sick. With the original variant of the Covid pandemic, vaccinations absolutely protected those around us. And throughout the pandemic, unvaccinated people have caused stress on the health care system.

There's a huge difference between vaccination and abortion.

+1 abortions don't affect anyone other than the people involved. Meanwhile, I vaccinated my children to achieve herd immunity in order to protect vulnerable populations who are medically unable to be vaccinated. This is not about Covid, btw, it's about all of the childhood vaccinations. Measles, mumps, rubella, etc can be deadly for some vulnerable populations. By achieving herd immunity, we are protecting those people and allowing them to carry on in their lives without worrying too much about catching these diseases. You can't catch or spread pregnancy or abortion, PP. You can catch and spread diseases if not enough of the population is vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to all who shared their stories. I don't think that can be easy. Thanks, OP.

I am pro-life.

I do not have strong feelings about the Supreme Court decision other than that it seems, from a legal perspective, reasonable.

I know a good number of people (including myself and one sibling and an adopted niece) who would not be here if our mom had not chosen life. Our mom couldn't really afford us. Her relationship choices were not good. Our grandparents urged her to abort because they believed her struggles as a single mom raising mixed race kids would be too great.

I want to join forces with the pro-choice side because I live in the real world; I hear and reflect on the stories like yours OP and others. But can we find a way to do it in a way (and I think, OP, you did) that allows choice while not elevating abortion as THE choice. I don't speak for any kind of movement, but I do know that 20% of people who go to pregnancy crisis centers (the kind many abortion advocates hate) go on to choose abortion anyway.

I know many people here perhaps hate people like me, think I'm stupid and ignorant, think it's not worth even talking to someone like me. But I just wanted to offer my appreciation of your generosity in sharing difficulty stories and offer my own perspective.

I don't know anyone that is pro-choice that says it is THE CHOICE, I'm not sure where you are getting that idea from, but it's wrong. No one is forcing anybody to have abortions.

The point that I take from your story is that your mother had a choice and she made the one that made the most sense for her. You, OF ALL PEOPLE, should be thrilled that she had and made the choice that was right for her personal and medical situation. Why would you want to take that choice away from anybody?

I’m op. By accepting the Supreme Court decision as reasonable you believe that women and doctors should NOT have the right to make decisions about womens bodies and that decision should be left up to states. Which means that the government gets to decide whether people like me live or die.

I'm not sure why you are posting this in response to what I wrote. I am pro-choice, I am telling PP that I think her opinion is ridiculous and that her mom had a choice and other people should have that same choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to all who shared their stories. I don't think that can be easy. Thanks, OP.

I am pro-life.

I do not have strong feelings about the Supreme Court decision other than that it seems, from a legal perspective, reasonable.

I know a good number of people (including myself and one sibling and an adopted niece) who would not be here if our mom had not chosen life. Our mom couldn't really afford us. Her relationship choices were not good. Our grandparents urged her to abort because they believed her struggles as a single mom raising mixed race kids would be too great.

I want to join forces with the pro-choice side because I live in the real world; I hear and reflect on the stories like yours OP and others. But can we find a way to do it in a way (and I think, OP, you did) that allows choice while not elevating abortion as THE choice. I don't speak for any kind of movement, but I do know that 20% of people who go to pregnancy crisis centers (the kind many abortion advocates hate) go on to choose abortion anyway.

I know many people here perhaps hate people like me, think I'm stupid and ignorant, think it's not worth even talking to someone like me. But I just wanted to offer my appreciation of your generosity in sharing difficulty stories and offer my own perspective.

The way to allow choice without elevating abortion as THE choice is to keep abortion legal, keeping necessary medical care available for people in these situations while improving the actual material conditions of motherhood in this country.

I don't think you sound stupid or ignorant, so I think you probably know this. There's room for pro-life people in the pro-choice tent - the work to be done on that common ground is in building supports for women in areas other than abortion policy, not prosecuting and outlawing.

+1 and I would add that we can't overlook the importance of women having access to regular healthcare and contraception. If the pro-life movement was really about life all of these measures would be in place to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

And what would have happened if the baby came to term and lived in a life of misery? Who will take care of this child? The Republicans and their support?

I have a child with pre-existing condition and ours is nowhere as severe in health, and it is one of the most difficult life challenges for us. It affects the child, the parents, and the siblings for a lifetime.

I think the maternal risk stories are so powerful, but this is the heart of the issue. What if I have a baby, give it up for adoption, and the adoptive parents are terrible?

If abortion is murder, and G-d is real, maybe I go to bell and the baby goes immediately to G-d.

If I give the baby up for adoption, to bad parents, then maybe G-d is thrilled with me but the baby suffers on this world for decades.

How can anyone who loves babies intentionally choose that second path?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a medical abortion. The embryo heart stopped but because of other issues my body would not miscarry. I’m ever thankful that my doctor was kind and performed it before sepsis set in. People posting here know very little about the dangers of pregnancy.
I have had 3 friends with later MC who nearly bled to death. MC can be fatal.
Up until recently the main cause of death among women under 50 was childbirth or pregnancy complications of which there are many.
But nothing will change the pro choice attitude.

Yes this. It broke my heart to see abortion listed on my medical paperwork for a much wanted and desired pregnancy. But nothing was right with the pregnancy from the very first scans. I waited an agonizing 5 weeks for the heartbeat to stop. We all knew it would, it was just a matter of when. I was 11 weeks. Then my body would not give up the fetal tissue. I waited another two weeks to miscarry naturally and it would not happen. So I had a D&C. Traumatizing and the nurses didn’t help. I’d never had a general in my life and I woke up sobbing, to hear a nurse say “we’ve got a a weeper.”

What would have happened if I couldn’t get that D&C, even with a no longer viable pregnancy that had already lingered for weeks?

I am unaware of any state law that outlaws abortion for a non-viable pregnancy or one that is to protect the health of the mother.

Well, until Friday it was unconstitutional for such a law to exist.

Texas, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Louisiana have no exceptions for health of the mother, for rape or incest, or for a fetus with conditions incompatible with life. I am not sure what you mean by non-viable pregnancy - doesn't matter in the above states unless the mother's life is in danger.

So now you are aware.

https://www.politico.com/news/2022/06/24/abortion-laws-by-state-roe-v-wade-00037695

[Anonymous]

Now that I've had HG I've learned about any number of other health issues that come with pregnancy. While I might be willing to take some of those risks, I would not be willing to endure others. And I'm pretty sure most women fall in the same camp. Some women may be willing to carry a pregnancy entirely without concern for their own lives, but I don't think that's where most women come down on it. I think most of us want some say if a pregnancy could lead to organ failure, death, or some other lifelong impact. And that's the crux of the problem with laws that outlaw abortion. It's very hard to write exclusions that allow women to manage their health and consent to associated risks because pregnancy itself is always dangerous to some degree.

I am the one that had severe pre-eclampsia. I had no risk factors for it. It was unexpected and somewhat dismissed by the first OB I had during that pregnancy. I was later treated by a series of specialists and had dedicated nurses in the ante-natal ward. I also had vaginal varicose veins during that pregnancy that made standing and walking agonizing as the pregnancy went on. I would have had to have a c-section for that alone because they were afraid they could rupture during a vaginal delivery. I don't discount for one second how my whiteness, my socioeconomic status, my educational level contributed to the attentive and high level of care I received. That's only one of the reasons I was appalled when Amy Coney Barrett made the argument that safe haven laws negate the need for abortion.

I had a tubal ligation on the table during the c-section for the pregnancy described above. I never wanted to be at risk of pregnancy again and I think I would have seriously considered termination after my experience if I had an unexpected pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

You don't want to be in the situation where people are debating whether your life is "truly' at risk before getting access to an abortion. The outcry over the case below is why heavily Catholic Ireland now allows abortion.

https://www.irishcentral.com/news/savita-halappanavar

Savita Halappanavar died on October 28, 2012, at Galway University Hospital after suffering a septic miscarriage for which she was denied an abortion.

[Anonymous]

The thing I find interesting in the things I’m reading since Friday here and on social media, is that the loudest voices are white privileged woman who CAN afford another baby and aren’t dealing with bad circumstances. Woman who want the option but might never choose and don’t relate at all the poor, underprivileged woman who seem most likely to choose abortion. I teach in a school with this population and likely half are illegal immigrants. Most of the kids I had could have been aborted because of their mom’s circumstances yet they choose life for them instead. And their lives haven’t necessarily gotten easier.

The statistics are out there that a majority of woman having abortions are Christian, married woman. Or the stories above of the catholic girls who likely had unsupportive parents and were terrified to tell them, not that it was easier for them to choose abortion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to all who shared their stories. I don't think that can be easy. Thanks, OP.

I am pro-life.

I do not have strong feelings about the Supreme Court decision other than that it seems, from a legal perspective, reasonable.

I know a good number of people (including myself and one sibling and an adopted niece) who would not be here if our mom had not chosen life. Our mom couldn't really afford us. Her relationship choices were not good. Our grandparents urged her to abort because they believed her struggles as a single mom raising mixed race kids would be too great.

I want to join forces with the pro-choice side because I live in the real world; I hear and reflect on the stories like yours OP and others. But can we find a way to do it in a way (and I think, OP, you did) that allows choice while not elevating abortion as THE choice. I don't speak for any kind of movement, but I do know that 20% of people who go to pregnancy crisis centers (the kind many abortion advocates hate) go on to choose abortion anyway.

I know many people here perhaps hate people like me, think I'm stupid and ignorant, think it's not worth even talking to someone like me. But I just wanted to offer my appreciation of your generosity in sharing difficulty stories and offer my own perspective.

I don't know anyone that is pro-choice that says it is THE CHOICE, I'm not sure where you are getting that idea from, but it's wrong. No one is forcing anybody to have abortions.

The point that I take from your story is that your mother had a choice and she made the one that made the most sense for her. You, OF ALL PEOPLE, should be thrilled that she had and made the choice that was right for her personal and medical situation. Why would you want to take that choice away from anybody?

I’m op. By accepting the Supreme Court decision as reasonable you believe that women and doctors should NOT have the right to make decisions about womens bodies and that decision should be left up to states. Which means that the government gets to decide whether people like me live or die.

I'm not sure why you are posting this in response to what I wrote. I am pro-choice, I am telling PP that I think her opinion is ridiculous and that her mom had a choice and other people should have that same choice.

Sorry- I agree with your stance and agree that her opinion is ridiculous and not based in reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing I find interesting in the things I’m reading since Friday here and on social media, is that the loudest voices are white privileged woman who CAN afford another baby and aren’t dealing with bad circumstances. Woman who want the option but might never choose and don’t relate at all the poor, underprivileged woman who seem most likely to choose abortion. I teach in a school with this population and likely half are illegal immigrants. Most of the kids I had could have been aborted because of their mom’s circumstances yet they choose life for them instead. And their lives haven’t necessarily gotten easier.

The statistics are out there that a majority of woman having abortions are Christian, married woman. Or the stories above of the catholic girls who likely had unsupportive parents and were terrified to tell them, not that it was easier for them to choose abortion.

I'm not really sure what your point is - the women on this board ARE likely to be white and privileged. And just because abortion has been legal doesn't mean it's been easy to access, so it's no surprise that people most able to access health care are doing so and are talking about it on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing I find interesting in the things I’m reading since Friday here and on social media, is that the loudest voices are white privileged woman who CAN afford another baby and aren’t dealing with bad circumstances. Woman who want the option but might never choose and don’t relate at all the poor, underprivileged woman who seem most likely to choose abortion. I teach in a school with this population and likely half are illegal immigrants. Most of the kids I had could have been aborted because of their mom’s circumstances yet they choose life for them instead. And their lives haven’t necessarily gotten easier.

The statistics are out there that a majority of woman having abortions are Christian, married woman. Or the stories above of the catholic girls who likely had unsupportive parents and were terrified to tell them, not that it was easier for them to choose abortion.

I’m sorry but what is your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a medical abortion. The embryo heart stopped but because of other issues my body would not miscarry. I’m ever thankful that my doctor was kind and performed it before sepsis set in. People posting here know very little about the dangers of pregnancy.
I have had 3 friends with later MC who nearly bled to death. MC can be fatal.
Up until recently the main cause of death among women under 50 was childbirth or pregnancy complications of which there are many.
But nothing will change the pro choice attitude.

Yes this. It broke my heart to see abortion listed on my medical paperwork for a much wanted and desired pregnancy. But nothing was right with the pregnancy from the very first scans. I waited an agonizing 5 weeks for the heartbeat to stop. We all knew it would, it was just a matter of when. I was 11 weeks. Then my body would not give up the fetal tissue. I waited another two weeks to miscarry naturally and it would not happen. So I had a D&C. Traumatizing and the nurses didn’t help. I’d never had a general in my life and I woke up sobbing, to hear a nurse say “we’ve got a a weeper.”

What would have happened if I couldn’t get that D&C, even with a no longer viable pregnancy that had already lingered for weeks?

I am unaware of any state law that outlaws abortion for a non-viable pregnancy or one that is to protect the health of the mother.

Well, until Friday it was unconstitutional for such a law to exist.

Texas, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Louisiana have no exceptions for health of the mother, for rape or incest, or for a fetus with conditions incompatible with life. I am not sure what you mean by non-viable pregnancy - doesn't matter in the above states unless the mother's life is in danger.

So now you are aware.

https://www.politico.com/news/2022/06/24/abortion-laws-by-state-roe-v-wade-00037695

You appear to be contradicting yourself—see bolded above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing I find interesting in the things I’m reading since Friday here and on social media, is that the loudest voices are white privileged woman who CAN afford another baby and aren’t dealing with bad circumstances. Woman who want the option but might never choose and don’t relate at all the poor, underprivileged woman who seem most likely to choose abortion. I teach in a school with this population and likely half are illegal immigrants. Most of the kids I had could have been aborted because of their mom’s circumstances yet they choose life for them instead. And their lives haven’t necessarily gotten easier.

The statistics are out there that a majority of woman having abortions are Christian, married woman. Or the stories above of the catholic girls who likely had unsupportive parents and were terrified to tell them, not that it was easier for them to choose abortion.

I’m sorry but what is your point?

The point is that it’s not going to solve the problem of abortion being less accessible. These voices may not be anti-abortion but the time has come to figure out they can help to support the woman who find themselves in situations where they really, truly can’t afford to have a baby. It’s not a cause to fight for privileged woman who just don’t want to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing I find interesting in the things I’m reading since Friday here and on social media, is that the loudest voices are white privileged woman who CAN afford another baby and aren’t dealing with bad circumstances. Woman who want the option but might never choose and don’t relate at all the poor, underprivileged woman who seem most likely to choose abortion. I teach in a school with this population and likely half are illegal immigrants. Most of the kids I had could have been aborted because of their mom’s circumstances yet they choose life for them instead. And their lives haven’t necessarily gotten easier.

The statistics are out there that a majority of woman having abortions are Christian, married woman. Or the stories above of the catholic girls who likely had unsupportive parents and were terrified to tell them, not that it was easier for them to choose abortion.

I’m sorry but what is your point?

The point is that it’s not going to solve the problem of abortion being less accessible. These voices may not be anti-abortion but the time has come to figure out they can help to support the woman who find themselves in situations where they really, truly can’t afford to have a baby. It’s not a cause to fight for privileged woman who just don’t want to have a baby.

I still don’t get your point. So now, that abortion is being outlawed, you want to tone police women who are upset and suggest that they don’t really NEED abortions because they can afford to raise children? Seriously wtf is wrong with you.