Nobody Wants to Hire Me

[Anonymous]

This is OP again. I am definitely not proud and have applied for entry level jobs, including things like data entry for college applications (I thought maybe formerly being in academia might be a plus for that so I left the PhD on those resumes). I didn’t hear back from any of those places, either.

While getting my PhD and working as a post-doc I published, but as many pointed out that was a long time ago. After my first was born I started a blog related to my profession in hopes of using that to remain relevant but I wasn’t able to generate readership.

I know I sound like a bit of a sad sack but I am trying to stay positive. I did sign up for “Volunteer Match” and have reached out to several organizations.

There is actually an organization dedicated to invisible disabilities and I reached out to them twice a while back and they didn’t get back to me 😬.

I have to rally and just keep trying. While the kids were home I could feel ok about my self-worth; now that they are all in school it is harder to. We *could* get by without my extra income but anything would help in terms of saving for college tuitions. But to be honest — and sorry if this sounds self-indulgent — I want to work to feel better about myself and I really do want to make a contribution to society. Even if it is something small, I would feel like I had purpose. Volunteering is great and I am into that BUT my husband, as great as he is, would not consider that as important as a job that brings in money. He would never outright say that. But I could see him getting a bit annoyed if things at the house fell behind due to some “hobby” as opposed to “real work.” Thank goodness this forum is anonymous because I feel terrible admitting that and would never verbalize that to anyone.

I was diagnosed with my illnesses while in HS and to those of you who think I do not have gumption or grit: It was hard to make it through but I graduated with honors, went to college and made it through that (though it took me an extra year because I was sick so much of one year and in and out of the hospital). I then made it all the way through graduate school which was also not easy but I was able to preserve largely thanks to an understanding mentor. I’m not tooting my own horn, I just want people to understand I’m not someone who just snivels and doesn’t try.

I have reached out to my PhD advisor and asked her for help. She said she is keeping her eyes out but agrees part-time, remote work greatly limits me. She said she would offer me a position herself except she is now retired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. I am definitely not proud and have applied for entry level jobs, including things like data entry for college applications (I thought maybe formerly being in academia might be a plus for that so I left the PhD on those resumes). I didn’t hear back from any of those places, either.

While getting my PhD and working as a post-doc I published, but as many pointed out that was a long time ago. After my first was born I started a blog related to my profession in hopes of using that to remain relevant but I wasn’t able to generate readership.

I know I sound like a bit of a sad sack but I am trying to stay positive. I did sign up for “Volunteer Match” and have reached out to several organizations.

There is actually an organization dedicated to invisible disabilities and I reached out to them twice a while back and they didn’t get back to me 😬.

I have to rally and just keep trying. While the kids were home I could feel ok about my self-worth; now that they are all in school it is harder to. We *could* get by without my extra income but anything would help in terms of saving for college tuitions. But to be honest — and sorry if this sounds self-indulgent — I want to work to feel better about myself and I really do want to make a contribution to society. Even if it is something small, I would feel like I had purpose. Volunteering is great and I am into that BUT my husband, as great as he is, would not consider that as important as a job that brings in money. He would never outright say that. But I could see him getting a bit annoyed if things at the house fell behind due to some “hobby” as opposed to “real work.” Thank goodness this forum is anonymous because I feel terrible admitting that and would never verbalize that to anyone.

I was diagnosed with my illnesses while in HS and to those of you who think I do not have gumption or grit: It was hard to make it through but I graduated with honors, went to college and made it through that (though it took me an extra year because I was sick so much of one year and in and out of the hospital). I then made it all the way through graduate school which was also not easy but I was able to preserve largely thanks to an understanding mentor. I’m not tooting my own horn, I just want people to understand I’m not someone who just snivels and doesn’t try.

I have reached out to my PhD advisor and asked her for help. She said she is keeping her eyes out but agrees part-time, remote work greatly limits me. She said she would offer me a position herself except she is now retired.

OP, can you do something completely different for a bit? Go work in a retail store you love just for the holidays if your illness allows for it. Go volunteer for something you care about. Get the energy going- it doesn't matter how.

If you cannot do that, a few other ideas are:
Transcription (there are specialties- like medical transcription)
Remote personal assistant etc.

But these kinds of jobs aren't likely to get you networking and meeting people. Honestly, I think you need to start in person somewhere, even for a few weeks only.

[Anonymous]

Except let them do it with no computer screen or mouse in fact my firm had no letters on key board as you should memorized it. In fact my adding machines had no tape at work to look at either. Good luck with the Dex machine (pre fax) making carbon copies on a type writer and using early code.

Without a GUI or screen good luck. And also speed. We had staff typing at 80 WFM in some areas. Also at one point a big skill
Was speedreading I won the company contest at 23 being able to read 3,000 words a minute. I was like Google. I could find the stuff in a manual in a few seconds. Can’t do it anymore. But I could read a 300 page manual in 10 minutes with comprehension.

And folks forever hardware. My old company in early 1980s we built third largest data center in world with employees then wrote all the programs and created telephony and installed connections at client sites.

Dying to know how old you are.

[Anonymous]

Can you work at your children’s school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This OP. Thank you all for your responses. To answer some of your questions…

- I have a chronic illness which prevented me from working at all while raising my 3 kids (I had trouble even doing that) so a part-time gig is all I can handle.

-The remote requirement has to do with the above, as well.

Working on my PhD was possible because the pace was pretty slow and I could set it in ways that worked with my health issues. Mothering was tough and I did have to have some help because I was sick so much of the time.

My youngest just started school this year and know I can meaningfully contribute to the workforce. I know there are many people who are entirely well and vying for the same positions. I can be just as productive if the conditions are right.

I know it’s asking an employer a lot to give me a chance, but I doubt one will. It’s like being disabled but with a chronic disease it is an invisible disability.

I don’t understand how you can birth and raise three children, but you’re too sick to be gainfully employers?

Op, your story doesn’t add up. You chose to have three kids. Then you chose to remain out of work for a decade. Now you’re saying you can work but only PT and remotely?

OP, I’d suggest you see a doctor. You likely have some anxiety or something going on. There’s likely no reason you can’t have a normal job. Why so much hesitation to simply go to work? I’d try to figure out what is driving this. If you don’t want to work, that’s fine. But saying you’d like to have a job but can’t leave the house for this job is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. I am definitely not proud and have applied for entry level jobs, including things like data entry for college applications (I thought maybe formerly being in academia might be a plus for that so I left the PhD on those resumes). I didn’t hear back from any of those places, either.

While getting my PhD and working as a post-doc I published, but as many pointed out that was a long time ago. After my first was born I started a blog related to my profession in hopes of using that to remain relevant but I wasn’t able to generate readership.

I know I sound like a bit of a sad sack but I am trying to stay positive. I did sign up for “Volunteer Match” and have reached out to several organizations.

There is actually an organization dedicated to invisible disabilities and I reached out to them twice a while back and they didn’t get back to me 😬.

I have to rally and just keep trying. While the kids were home I could feel ok about my self-worth; now that they are all in school it is harder to. We *could* get by without my extra income but anything would help in terms of saving for college tuitions. But to be honest — and sorry if this sounds self-indulgent — I want to work to feel better about myself and I really do want to make a contribution to society. Even if it is something small, I would feel like I had purpose. Volunteering is great and I am into that BUT my husband, as great as he is, would not consider that as important as a job that brings in money. He would never outright say that. But I could see him getting a bit annoyed if things at the house fell behind due to some “hobby” as opposed to “real work.” Thank goodness this forum is anonymous because I feel terrible admitting that and would never verbalize that to anyone.

I was diagnosed with my illnesses while in HS and to those of you who think I do not have gumption or grit: It was hard to make it through but I graduated with honors, went to college and made it through that (though it took me an extra year because I was sick so much of one year and in and out of the hospital). I then made it all the way through graduate school which was also not easy but I was able to preserve largely thanks to an understanding mentor. I’m not tooting my own horn, I just want people to understand I’m not someone who just snivels and doesn’t try.

I have reached out to my PhD advisor and asked her for help. She said she is keeping her eyes out but agrees part-time, remote work greatly limits me. She said she would offer me a position herself except she is now retired.

OP, can you do something completely different for a bit? Go work in a retail store you love just for the holidays if your illness allows for it. Go volunteer for something you care about. Get the energy going- it doesn't matter how.

If you cannot do that, a few other ideas are:
Transcription (there are specialties- like medical transcription)
Remote personal assistant etc.

But these kinds of jobs aren't likely to get you networking and meeting people. Honestly, I think you need to start in person somewhere, even for a few weeks only.

I believe Medical transcription requires specific training and certs.

[Anonymous]

OP, you’re likely 45 years old. You say you struggled while obtaining your PhD. Then you struggled while raising 3 kids. Working doesn’t seem like it’s for you. You seem to have health issues and want special treatment. I’m sorry but I would stay unemployed if I were you. If you’re too medically fragile to have a job outside of the house, you likely can’t handle one remotely either. It stinks you got a PhD for no reason, but you made a decision to have three kids. I’d stop looking to return to work unless you can significantly change your attitude and mindset. You’ve likely struggled for decades so I don’t see someone like you putting their big girl pants on and returning to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’re likely 45 years old. You say you struggled while obtaining your PhD. Then you struggled while raising 3 kids. Working doesn’t seem like it’s for you. You seem to have health issues and want special treatment. I’m sorry but I would stay unemployed if I were you. If you’re too medically fragile to have a job outside of the house, you likely can’t handle one remotely either. It stinks you got a PhD for no reason, but you made a decision to have three kids. I’d stop looking to return to work unless you can significantly change your attitude and mindset. You’ve likely struggled for decades so I don’t see someone like you putting their big girl pants on and returning to work.

Wow. Rude. You’ve likely not dealt with a chronic illness for decades. Good for you. Just because someone struggles doesn’t mean they made wrong decisions or are not worthy. Why don’t you put on your non-judgmental pants and realize that not everyone is able-bodied.

[Anonymous]

I stayed home for 7 years. My first job back cost me more in child care than I was paid. It was also mind numbing. I made the job sound more important on my resume and that led to my next position which was part-time but firmly in my field. From there I was recruited to a full-time role.

I'd take your Ph.D. off of your resume and network like hell for anything. Could you get an admin job at a biotech or in a field that is is close to your expertise? That might allow you to move up in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’re likely 45 years old. You say you struggled while obtaining your PhD. Then you struggled while raising 3 kids. Working doesn’t seem like it’s for you. You seem to have health issues and want special treatment. I’m sorry but I would stay unemployed if I were you. If you’re too medically fragile to have a job outside of the house, you likely can’t handle one remotely either. It stinks you got a PhD for no reason, but you made a decision to have three kids. I’d stop looking to return to work unless you can significantly change your attitude and mindset. You’ve likely struggled for decades so I don’t see someone like you putting their big girl pants on and returning to work.

Wow. Rude. You’ve likely not dealt with a chronic illness for decades. Good for you. Just because someone struggles doesn’t mean they made wrong decisions or are not worthy. Why don’t you put on your non-judgmental pants and realize that not everyone is able-bodied.

So you’re saying that OP has struggled throughout most phases of her adult life, but now that she’s 45+, she’s going to magically rejoin the workforce and succeed? Oh and that she will be able to find a PT and remote job?

I don’t think encouraging OP is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’re likely 45 years old. You say you struggled while obtaining your PhD. Then you struggled while raising 3 kids. Working doesn’t seem like it’s for you. You seem to have health issues and want special treatment. I’m sorry but I would stay unemployed if I were you. If you’re too medically fragile to have a job outside of the house, you likely can’t handle one remotely either. It stinks you got a PhD for no reason, but you made a decision to have three kids. I’d stop looking to return to work unless you can significantly change your attitude and mindset. You’ve likely struggled for decades so I don’t see someone like you putting their big girl pants on and returning to work.

Wow. Rude. You’ve likely not dealt with a chronic illness for decades. Good for you. Just because someone struggles doesn’t mean they made wrong decisions or are not worthy. Why don’t you put on your non-judgmental pants and realize that not everyone is able-bodied.

OP likely doesn’t have a real chronic illness. It’s called an excuse for being unable to work hard outside of the home.. If she’s so ill, how did she give birth to and raise three kids? If she has a chronic illness, Why isn’t she on long term disability? OP, did you not have a policy when you exited the workforce?

In reality, OP likely just wants to be at home in her house. Who doesn’t? Someone has enabled her by paying the bills. Now she’s saying she wants to return to work but is too sick to leave the house. Guarantee you she can go to the grocery store or other places outside of the house. She for some reason thinks she is entitled to a unicorn job.

[Anonymous]

Working while kids are in school is not going to be easier than working before they were in school, if the chronic illness was that severe that you couldn't do both and still only can do part-time from home. School breaks, sick kids, increasing extra curricular activities, juggling schedules... it will be a nightmare.

It sounds like you only want to work because your husband wants you to work. Is he going to pick up responsibilities you previously handled?

[Anonymous]

So…someone wants to get back to work and you all think discouraging them is a good idea. Nice.

There are plenty of chronic illnesses where someone can go into periods of remission. Sometimes that even happens with pregnancy. Chronic illness can mean cycles of illness. Some people with chronic illness are also more susceptible to covid and some cannot get the vaccine; or the vaccine does not work on them due to some medications.

There are scenarios other than the limited ones you cook up in your heads due to lack of understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So…someone wants to get back to work and you all think discouraging them is a good idea. Nice.

There are plenty of chronic illnesses where someone can go into periods of remission. Sometimes that even happens with pregnancy. Chronic illness can mean cycles of illness. Some people with chronic illness are also more susceptible to covid and some cannot get the vaccine; or the vaccine does not work on them due to some medications.

There are scenarios other than the limited ones you cook up in your heads due to lack of understanding.

OP didn’t say she is now in remission and can work. If anything, she shared she still is facing challenges which is why she needs a remote and PT job. Of course someone with an illness can work, but OP hasn’t been able to do so for at least a decade. What has changed?

Reality is that OP can likely find something if she looks hard enough, but it will not be the kind of job she wants.

[Anonymous]

could you teach virtual classes in your field?