What does real love feel like? Love after heartbreak.

[Anonymous]

How does it feel to experience someone and go on to marry that person after being in a relationship that no longer serves you?

I am curious, if the pain of the heartbreak goes away or the comparison of the other person you envisioned life with.

Does the new love erase the pain?

[Anonymous]

No. You must heal yourself first. You must wake up, eat, exercise, journal, experience the pain, and make yourself whole and a better version. New love will never erase residual pain. YOU must reflect and grow, and be comfortable sitting in the pain.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think pain is ever fully erased. Those years are always part of you. Pretty much what PP said: the pain diminishes over time. You don’t think about it much. When you do think about it, it doesn’t trigger you. But it doesn’t just happen on its own. It takes work and it takes choices and execution that create happiness.

[Anonymous]

When I told my current boyfriend what happened to me in my previous marriage he said "if you are open to sharing what your lingering fears and triggers are, I promise to always keep them forefront in my mind, anticipate them to the best of my ability, and provide you all the reassurance, understanding, and grace you need".

Saying he has lived up to that is an understatement. Love is safety, reliability, care, and follow through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I told my current boyfriend what happened to me in my previous marriage he said "if you are open to sharing what your lingering fears and triggers are, I promise to always keep them forefront in my mind, anticipate them to the best of my ability, and provide you all the reassurance, understanding, and grace you need".

Saying he has lived up to that is an understatement. Love is safety, reliability, care, and follow through.

That’s wonderful, and I’m very happy you found someone like him.
Unfortunately, my biggest concern is that someone would weaponize my fears and use them against me.
It may or may not be entirely rational, but that’s what I worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I told my current boyfriend what happened to me in my previous marriage he said "if you are open to sharing what your lingering fears and triggers are, I promise to always keep them forefront in my mind, anticipate them to the best of my ability, and provide you all the reassurance, understanding, and grace you need".

Saying he has lived up to that is an understatement. Love is safety, reliability, care, and follow through.

That’s wonderful, and I’m very happy you found someone like him.
Unfortunately, my biggest concern is that someone would weaponize my fears and use them against me.
It may or may not be entirely rational, but that’s what I worry about.

You’re not irrational because there ARE bad people in the world like that who behave that way in relationships. But they often make themselves known in a relationship by pushing boundaries and now that you are wiser you can see through that.