How annoyed would you be if a colleague igno an issue you flagged

[Anonymous]

I flagged a problem with a work product needed to be fixed. It wasn't something subjective - it was something that didn't comply with our standards. Colleague has been with our company longer than me, though we have worked together for years. He told me he thought I was wrong so I had to insist he was wrong and needed to fix it at which point he checked and acknowledged the mistake. It's still bothering me that his automatic response to me is to dismiss me. He isn't a dismissive person by nature. So it feels like this is about how he perceives me. He is someone who tends to be a stickler for details so I'm just really taken aback.

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed, but the best way to respond is to bring receipts next time--a printout of the error, 2-3 examples that show the correct way to do it.

[Anonymous]

I can't tell what the problem is here. It sounds like he legitimately thought he knew the standard and thought he was following it. You said he isn't ordinarily dismissive. It sounds like his resistance had more to do with his own certainty than doubt he has about you. You pushing back led him to question his certainty, and he went and double checked, confirmed you were right, acknowledged you were right and made the changes. If he's usually a stickler and usually knows the standards, this sounds like a totally normal response. Your sensitivity to the situation likely reflects your insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't tell what the problem is here. It sounds like he legitimately thought he knew the standard and thought he was following it. You said he isn't ordinarily dismissive. It sounds like his resistance had more to do with his own certainty than doubt he has about you. You pushing back led him to question his certainty, and he went and double checked, confirmed you were right, acknowledged you were right and made the changes. If he's usually a stickler and usually knows the standards, this sounds like a totally normal response. Your sensitivity to the situation likely reflects your insecurities.

You sound like someone who is very dismissive towards colleagues and attacks them when you are criticized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't tell what the problem is here. It sounds like he legitimately thought he knew the standard and thought he was following it. You said he isn't ordinarily dismissive. It sounds like his resistance had more to do with his own certainty than doubt he has about you. You pushing back led him to question his certainty, and he went and double checked, confirmed you were right, acknowledged you were right and made the changes. If he's usually a stickler and usually knows the standards, this sounds like a totally normal response. Your sensitivity to the situation likely reflects your insecurities.

+1

Acknowledging and situation and fixing it speaks well of this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't tell what the problem is here. It sounds like he legitimately thought he knew the standard and thought he was following it. You said he isn't ordinarily dismissive. It sounds like his resistance had more to do with his own certainty than doubt he has about you. You pushing back led him to question his certainty, and he went and double checked, confirmed you were right, acknowledged you were right and made the changes. If he's usually a stickler and usually knows the standards, this sounds like a totally normal response. Your sensitivity to the situation likely reflects your insecurities.

Agreed.

OP, what could’ve he have done differently that would’ve made it better in your eyes? Also—are you just not busy at work? Are you more junior in your career? Maybe exploring therapy while you’re so fixated. Because based on the fact that you provided, in my opinion, you are overreacting. If this should happen today, I could see why you’d be annoyed. But if this happened like a week or more ago, then chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't tell what the problem is here. It sounds like he legitimately thought he knew the standard and thought he was following it. You said he isn't ordinarily dismissive. It sounds like his resistance had more to do with his own certainty than doubt he has about you. You pushing back led him to question his certainty, and he went and double checked, confirmed you were right, acknowledged you were right and made the changes. If he's usually a stickler and usually knows the standards, this sounds like a totally normal response. Your sensitivity to the situation likely reflects your insecurities.

Agreed.

OP, what could’ve he have done differently that would’ve made it better in your eyes? Also—are you just not busy at work? Are you more junior in your career? Maybe exploring therapy while you’re so fixated. Because based on the fact that you provided, in my opinion, you are overreacting. If this should happen today, I could see why you’d be annoyed. But if this happened like a week or more ago, then chill out.

In the time he spent telling me I was wrong in a pretty patronizing way (in front of another colleague) he could have checked it on his own. It would have literally taken 5 seconds. I was extremely busy with my own work at the time, which he knew, and was reviewing his work as a favor. He said "oops" but did not apologize to me. He isn't usually dismissive, but he does tend to engage excessively in status signaling and occasional underhanded mean comments.

Anyway, I get that my vague description of the situation is not convincing to you, but I strongly recommend if a colleague points out an issue in your work to you that you can investigate quickly, just do it. Messaging them and telling them they are wrong without even checking is bizarre and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't tell what the problem is here. It sounds like he legitimately thought he knew the standard and thought he was following it. You said he isn't ordinarily dismissive. It sounds like his resistance had more to do with his own certainty than doubt he has about you. You pushing back led him to question his certainty, and he went and double checked, confirmed you were right, acknowledged you were right and made the changes. If he's usually a stickler and usually knows the standards, this sounds like a totally normal response. Your sensitivity to the situation likely reflects your insecurities.

Agreed.

OP, what could’ve he have done differently that would’ve made it better in your eyes? Also—are you just not busy at work? Are you more junior in your career? Maybe exploring therapy while you’re so fixated. Because based on the fact that you provided, in my opinion, you are overreacting. If this should happen today, I could see why you’d be annoyed. But if this happened like a week or more ago, then chill out.

In the time he spent telling me I was wrong in a pretty patronizing way (in front of another colleague) he could have checked it on his own. It would have literally taken 5 seconds. I was extremely busy with my own work at the time, which he knew, and was reviewing his work as a favor. He said "oops" but did not apologize to me. He isn't usually dismissive, but he does tend to engage excessively in status signaling and occasional underhanded mean comments.

Anyway, I get that my vague description of the situation is not convincing to you, but I strongly recommend if a colleague points out an issue in your work to you that you can investigate quickly, just do it. Messaging them and telling them they are wrong without even checking is bizarre and rude.

Ah, so you called him out in front of a colleague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't tell what the problem is here. It sounds like he legitimately thought he knew the standard and thought he was following it. You said he isn't ordinarily dismissive. It sounds like his resistance had more to do with his own certainty than doubt he has about you. You pushing back led him to question his certainty, and he went and double checked, confirmed you were right, acknowledged you were right and made the changes. If he's usually a stickler and usually knows the standards, this sounds like a totally normal response. Your sensitivity to the situation likely reflects your insecurities.

Agreed.

OP, what could’ve he have done differently that would’ve made it better in your eyes? Also—are you just not busy at work? Are you more junior in your career? Maybe exploring therapy while you’re so fixated. Because based on the fact that you provided, in my opinion, you are overreacting. If this should happen today, I could see why you’d be annoyed. But if this happened like a week or more ago, then chill out.

In the time he spent telling me I was wrong in a pretty patronizing way (in front of another colleague) he could have checked it on his own. It would have literally taken 5 seconds. I was extremely busy with my own work at the time, which he knew, and was reviewing his work as a favor. He said "oops" but did not apologize to me. He isn't usually dismissive, but he does tend to engage excessively in status signaling and occasional underhanded mean comments.

Anyway, I get that my vague description of the situation is not convincing to you, but I strongly recommend if a colleague points out an issue in your work to you that you can investigate quickly, just do it. Messaging them and telling them they are wrong without even checking is bizarre and rude.

Ah, so you called him out in front of a colleague.

Yep, I responded to the message he sent me

[Anonymous]

If he isn’t usually dismissive, it’s probably best to let this one slide, as anyone can have a bad day.
If it becomes a recurring situation, then it likely needs to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

So, a co-worker said it was all good; then they had the self-awareness to go check and fix it.
Are you expecting some roses or something?

[Anonymous]

He realized he was wrong and fixed it. Grow up and shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He realized he was wrong and fixed it. Grow up and shut up.

Why do you think it is okay to talk to people this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He realized he was wrong and fixed it. Grow up and shut up.

Why do you think it is okay to talk to people this way?

DP. Some of us are fed up with you snowflakes. Every sentence, no matter what, is offensive, and guess what? We don't care about your feelings; they're your own to manage, not ours. Life is tough, sugarpuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He realized he was wrong and fixed it. Grow up and shut up.

Why do you think it is okay to talk to people this way?

DP. Some of us are fed up with you snowflakes. Every sentence, no matter what, is offensive, and guess what? We don't care about your feelings; they're your own to manage, not ours. Life is tough, sugarpuff.

Fascinating