Would you say something?

[Anonymous]

I recently matched with a guy on OLD. He lives about 3 hours away. We haven’t had a chance to meet in person and likely won’t until mid-July because of travel plans.

I haven’t been investing much into it since we haven’t even met - I’ll text a couple times a week, and we’ll have a phone call once a week for 30-45 minutes. For me this is very casual, since we haven’t met yet and I won’t know if it’s something worth pursuing until we do.

Last night when we were talking, he mentioned he’s not going to be dating anyone else because he wants to be 100% focused on me. This made me VERY uncomfortable.

I don’t even know the guy yet, and I don’t want the responsibility of him being more or less committed to me when I’m certainly not committed to him. Nice guy, has some good qualities, but I don’t even know the guy and won’t know him until we get in-person time.

Now I’m also feeling hesitant to meet in person because I’m worried there’s this big expectation I’ll be a girlfriend and not just a first date. And I don’t want to hurt him if he’s been “committed” for a couple months and I end up not liking him in person and end things.

Would you say something to him? I told him that I don’t think he should stop dating other people and he said that’s his choice. But I want to make it very clear, I do not feel the same way back and I do not want expectations put on me. I also don’t want him getting hurt unnecessarily.

[Anonymous]

He made you uncomfortable. You won't even be able to meet for nearly 2 months. Just cut things off now. You haven't even gone on a date and already this seems like too much work.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live? Three hours?!

I live in a low population area and still am not f/cking around with that kind of distance.

[Anonymous]

Red flag – cut ties now. You appear to be attuned to this not being in line with your desires, but for other woman who are desperate or lack self-esteem they fall for this type of love bombing. Your antenna have already told you something is off. Don’t ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Cut it off now. Why would you waste months to go on a date at some point in the future with someone who lives 3 hours away? This is pretty classic catfishing OLD behavior.

[Anonymous]

His comment made you uncomfortable.
End it now.

[Anonymous]

Yea he needs to end it now, since he's obviously dealing with someone who won't be honest about her feelings.

[Anonymous]

Sorry Guy we are not in the same place with this relationship!

[Anonymous]

Dump him. A desirable guy has many options and date multiple women. He is a loser. He is probably very desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently matched with a guy on OLD. He lives about 3 hours away. We haven’t had a chance to meet in person and likely won’t until mid-July because of travel plans.

I haven’t been investing much into it since we haven’t even met - I’ll text a couple times a week, and we’ll have a phone call once a week for 30-45 minutes. For me this is very casual, since we haven’t met yet and I won’t know if it’s something worth pursuing until we do.

Last night when we were talking, he mentioned he’s not going to be dating anyone else because he wants to be 100% focused on me. This made me VERY uncomfortable.

I don’t even know the guy yet, and I don’t want the responsibility of him being more or less committed to me when I’m certainly not committed to him. Nice guy, has some good qualities, but I don’t even know the guy and won’t know him until we get in-person time.

Now I’m also feeling hesitant to meet in person because I’m worried there’s this big expectation I’ll be a girlfriend and not just a first date. And I don’t want to hurt him if he’s been “committed” for a couple months and I end up not liking him in person and end things.

Would you say something to him? I told him that I don’t think he should stop dating other people and he said that’s his choice. But I want to make it very clear, I do not feel the same way back and I do not want expectations put on me. I also don’t want him getting hurt unnecessarily.

This is his way of showing that he is not just looking for a one night stand like most guys on OLD. He wants a committed relationship and is making it clear upfront.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently matched with a guy on OLD. He lives about 3 hours away. We haven’t had a chance to meet in person and likely won’t until mid-July because of travel plans.

I haven’t been investing much into it since we haven’t even met - I’ll text a couple times a week, and we’ll have a phone call once a week for 30-45 minutes. For me this is very casual, since we haven’t met yet and I won’t know if it’s something worth pursuing until we do.

Last night when we were talking, he mentioned he’s not going to be dating anyone else because he wants to be 100% focused on me. This made me VERY uncomfortable.

I don’t even know the guy yet, and I don’t want the responsibility of him being more or less committed to me when I’m certainly not committed to him. Nice guy, has some good qualities, but I don’t even know the guy and won’t know him until we get in-person time.

Now I’m also feeling hesitant to meet in person because I’m worried there’s this big expectation I’ll be a girlfriend and not just a first date. And I don’t want to hurt him if he’s been “committed” for a couple months and I end up not liking him in person and end things.

Would you say something to him? I told him that I don’t think he should stop dating other people and he said that’s his choice. But I want to make it very clear, I do not feel the same way back and I do not want expectations put on me. I also don’t want him getting hurt unnecessarily.

This is his way of showing that he is not just looking for a one night stand like most guys on OLD. He wants a committed relationship and is making it clear upfront.

Absolutely over the top before even meeting in person. Red flags all over the place. OP: RUN.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would speak up & make it clear that until you both meet in person, that you are not even being close to being exclusive.

Tell him he can do whatever he wants but that it is way too early to have any expectations in place since you haven’t met face-to-face yet.

I do personally think his saying that at this stage is a 🚩 since he seems to be coming on a bit heavy right now.

[Anonymous]

Women should not find men online. It’s too dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. A desirable guy has many options and date multiple women. He is a loser. He is probably very desperate.

This.
Run. An attractive guy matches with many women and wouldn’t commit so soon. He is a desperate loser.

[Anonymous]

Have you seen each other over cameras yet? If yes then it’d be enough for some (him) so not an instant red flag I don’t think