awkward playdate encounter

[Anonymous]

I feel so petty for even writing this but I have this situation that's bothering me. My 2nd grader is in a little friend group with three other boys, and I am friends with the moms. They are signed up for camps together and play sports together. Over the weekend I went to the park and saw that the three of the boys were having a play date without my son, and the three moms were sitting together having lunch. I felt like this was so awkward for us to just show up, but I couldn't just leave. Afterward, the mom who must have organized it (because she lives near the park) kept texting the group photos of the boys, like "love these kids!" as if I had been included all along. Am I being insane for being bothered by this?
My natural instinct is to widen his friend circle but sadly these are the kids he loves and wants to hang with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My natural instinct is to widen his friend circle but sadly these are the kids he loves and wants to hang with.

Do both.

[Anonymous]

It's Always a good idea to have a wide friend circle. It doesn't mean he has to stop playing with them, there are plenty of days in the week to meet up at a park.

[Anonymous]

Do the other moms reach out to you normally (ie, you sometimes initiate, they sometimes initiate?) did they seem happy to see you?

For all you know, 2 of them planned something and the third happened to show up just like you did. It was a gorgeous day-everyone was out at parks and playgrounds. Or it came up in some other way and it was an oversight not to add you. Sometimes this happens and it’s not malicious.

Sure, broaden his circle, but if this is the first time you’ve been left out I wouldn’t poison otherwise good friendships.

[Anonymous]

I’d have no idea who was invited to the park and cld totally be the awkward mom sending pics, or could see being like oh hey lovely to run into you the kids had a blast and being clueless that you felt excluded.

We have a community pool, and often we’ll text one or two of our neighbors with kids the same age as ours and run into a whole bunch of kids at the pool, not just the fam we walked over with.

I’d feel left out if we/my kid weren’t invited to a bday party or year end huge picnic, but wldnt worry about this personally.

[Anonymous]

What is the carpool situation for these women? Yes, you should widen your friend circle. Understand that a lot of networking revolves around who can likely carpool to which activity in a given school year. DC area traffic is brutal.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t give this more thought. It doesn’t matter. It’s hard enough to make plans with one other parent and kid. Expecting that all 4 of you and kids are included every time there is a plan is a bit much

[Anonymous]

You are not insane to feel bothered by this. I would have felt hurt and excluded. On behalf of myself and my kid.

[Anonymous]

You can either choose to go through life being hurt and bothered by stuff like this or you can choose not to let it bother you. There's nothing you can do to make sure it doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t give this more thought. It doesn’t matter. It’s hard enough to make plans with one other parent and kid. Expecting that all 4 of you and kids are included every time there is a plan is a bit much

True BUT the OP has stated that there is an established group text with all the moms on it. How hard is it to text plans to that text group.

OP, I am hoping it was an oversight or there is some other explanation but I have also found through the years that my instincts are often spot on and if not spot on, then there is at least something there when that little voice speaks in my head. I do think it is odd that all three were at the park and you had not been included. I am sorry OP for I really do know how it feels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not insane to feel bothered by this. I would have felt hurt and excluded. On behalf of myself and my kid.

This, but let it go and see if it keeps happening. It may have been a one-off play date of convenience. Maybe they were texting about something else and decided to meet up. Of course, they should have made an effort to be inclusive, but again, wait and see if it continues to happen.

[Anonymous]

It's fine, OP. Stuff happens. Behave as if this was a fortuitous encounter. Look for other friends as well. Don't sweat it.

[Anonymous]

You’re probably describing what’s going on at Wayside. Yes, those moms are intentionally creating a pecking order with their sons and the sports they play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t give this more thought. It doesn’t matter. It’s hard enough to make plans with one other parent and kid. Expecting that all 4 of you and kids are included every time there is a plan is a bit much

True BUT the OP has stated that there is an established group text with all the moms on it. How hard is it to text plans to that text group.

OP, I am hoping it was an oversight or there is some other explanation but I have also found through the years that my instincts are often spot on and if not spot on, then there is at least something there when that little voice speaks in my head. I do think it is odd that all three were at the park and you had not been included. I am sorry OP for I really do know how it feels.

Sure but I have tons of different text threads that include overlapping moms. Maybe Andrew’s mom texted Benjamin’s mom about a play date and Benjamin already has plans with Caleb so they all met up.

Yes, maybe they excluded her intentionally but who wants to go through life thinking like that? Just live your life, keep texting them and yes, broaden your circle.

[Anonymous]

How did they act when you showed up