Tips for college grad moving home, no job yet
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Anonymous
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DS just graduated with an expensive BS degree. Several good interviews but no offers. Younger sibling will be moving out this fall to go to college.
DS has been home and working past summers but this feels different because it is different. What tips helped your family through this transition? Most important, at what point do we say “you have to get a job, any job, even if waiting tables?” |
Anonymous
| Now. Wait tables whole they look for their white collar work. |
Anonymous
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My parents didn't care when I moved home in 1990. The fast food jobs in my town paid the equivalent of $8/hour now. Just car insurance for my own car would have cost several months of pay.
I was top ranked in the liberal arts college of my flagship but I wasn't savvy about finding a job. This was pre-Internet. I mainly used my college's career center after graduating and newspaper ads. I found a time-limited summer internship after graduating and then 1 year after graduating I got two job offers on my own and a offer through an old acquaintance of my dad's that he had met by chance. My parents didn't charge me rent or food. They knew I was trying. They had gotten married and gone to grad school right after my mom finished college so they didn't have insane economic expectations for early 20's success. I liked that they were kind and still treated me as a kid living at home. I didn't abuse their generosity. Once I moved out at age 22, I never again needed or requested any financial support from them. It just took me a bit of extra time to get my bearings. So as far as rules, it depends on what you think is fair. But don't be unkind about it. Also have some faith. Most of my friends who floundered along with me during relatively bad economic times recovered nicely and nobody ended up underemployed or worse than solidly middle class with health benefits. |
Anonymous
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Help him find his way, job market is tough. No harm in suggesting being open to take whatever job is available for pocket money while he waits for something better to come along. If nothing does, get a masters or a more professional second major.
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Anonymous
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Graduating and moving back home without a job is a widespread reality today, fueled by a brutal job market. Unfortunately, nobody knows when things will turn around.
I think it is important for parents and the recent graduate to come up with a strategy together. What the parents can do - - be kind, supportive and patient. - keep an eye on the mental health of your grad. - do not charge them for rent or groceries unless you yourself are dirt poor and unemployed. - if you (the parent) are dysfunctional (abusive, addicted, unhealthy lifestyle) - then use this opportunity to change so that you are a source of inspiration. - be in a mission to improve yourself, your lifestyle, your home, your professional skills. When you are also on a similar journey as your grad - you will have better insights to give. Regardless of if your grad is willing to emulate you or not, you will not lose out. What can the grads do - - first of all chatGPT this. - figure out what your next steps are in terms of a)another professional degree and b) better marketing your skills. - look after your mental health. which means you should learn adulting by taking on some household chores, exercising and eating healthy, no substance abuse, taking care of your physical appearance and grooming, being serious about your job hunt and keep improving your skills. |
Anonymous
| Now he should have any job now while he's looking for a real job. |
Anonymous
| Yep Now. A part time job right now. While he continues to search for a full time role. He can’t just be in the home all day or floating around the world doing nothing. Also - How confident are you / is he in his job search strategy and interviewing skills? Because he should be setting up time with his college career office and leveraging their resources as an alum |
Anonymous
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Agree with him getting any job now. It's much easier to search for a job when you already have a job, even if you are underemployed.
Waiting tables is actually good experience for a lot of jobs. |
Anonymous
| Any job for now. It's important to stay busy and motivated. |
Anonymous
| I would have like a 3 month period of forebearance, and then ask them to get at least a part time job. if nothing comes up within 6 months they might need to think about reskilling/grad school. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks for this, and any other practical tips.
He just graduated last weekend. Arrived home yesterday. Already has plans to play basketball and golf with high school friends and a party this weekend. Making plans to get together with an out of town GF. This is what cannot continue. It's too much of the "just another summer" mindset. He had a third interview for what sounds like a terrific opportunity on Monday, but is not feeling hopeful about the outcome. We had these ideas: Put him in charge of dinner for the family one night a week. Expected to be up and out of bed (bed made) by 8:00 each weekday, working on job search. If no real job offer by June 1 (mid June?), he finds an hourly job in retail, etc, working a minimum of 30 hours a week, to include weekends. Other thoughts? |
Anonymous
This is all excellent but I would have him start looking for a seasonal summer job now. Those are the easiest to get and they will fill up by June. He can look for a retail or other non-seasonal job in late summer if the professional job search is still not going well. |
Anonymous
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I might frame the part-time/seasonal/temp job more as a practical thing than a punishment. Setting up a life costs money -- rent, deposit, bills, etc. Getting a part time or temporary job now allows him to sock money away, so when an opportunity comes through, he can leap at it.
My DD lived at home for a year, worked a job she always knew was a "for now" job, but saved a ton of money -- enough to strike out on her own and put some in investments. As a general rule, we paid for the food that was around the house, she paid for any extras, and for her car insurance/travel/etc. But she was really good at saving money, she definitely wasn't frivolous about spending. We loved having her at home that year. Sure, sometimes I got annoyed and said, "it's your turn to cook something tonight," or "you cannot just leave your laundry in the dryer indefinitely; we need it, too." But it was generally good humored and overall, we had more fun then we had tense moments, and then one day she moved out and started a new life, which was fun for all of us in a different way. Good luck to him, and to you. It goes pretty quickly, all of it. |
Anonymous
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I don't agree. I am speaking from the immigrant perspective who has been in 4 countries and not from the conventional American mindset. I think you need to have a deep conversation with him. He should have 3 months of grace period from getting a job.
This is a time for focussing on social connections (yes, he should party with friends, get together for golf, keep the connections alive and thriving), his network (college and HS friends, professors, mentors, PI, coaches, EC connections), his health and appearance (lose the pounds, clear the skin, get the dental checkups, up to date with vaccines, lose bad habits, therapy and career coaching if needed), and a close look at his resume, interview skills, linkedIn profile, next steps for career etc. Do not be in a hurry to throw him in a menial job at Home-Depot or McDonalds. Because he will lose the momentum and circle that he gained in college when he transitions into doing a low-paying, low-skilled job. He will not feel good about himself and it will drain away his confidence. It is really bad advice and a poverty mind-set that you need to get out of. |
Anonymous
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