College and dyslexia.
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Anonymous
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I'm feeling quietly mournful on behalf of my son. My DS is dyslexic. School is hard for him. He gets As and Bs in a mix of AP-Honors/College Prep courses. He works his butt off. Nothing comes easy.
I feel like it's just the All-AP, All-A kids who get into top schools these days. Maybe it's just this board. My kid isn't "average": He's super funny, clever in art and video editing, but he will never be the kid who yearns to pen a 10-page essay on Chaucer, sails through Spanish, or who takes Advanced Calculus II. And it feels as though his future options will be limited for this reason. I just don't know where to go or where to turn. This is a first-world issue. I know that there are thousands of colleges out there. But the ones that seem to convey solid outcomes, a plugged-in network, an upwardly mobile career? It feels as though this is out of reach. Just venting here. I am sure most on this board cannot relate. But maybe some can. |
Anonymous
| You do realize that the majority of people don’t go to top schools and yet many many many of them live very successful happy lives. |
Anonymous
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I can relate to the dyslexia part! My kid is dyslexic and so am I. He is in college now and doing really well. He is funny, smart, creative, and kind. He is going to do FINE. He will probably do more than fine, to be honest, because he also has learned how to work his tail off, he doesn’t fear failure or disappointment, and he knows how to connect with other people.
I bet your kid is similar. Your KID doesn’t have a problem. YOU have a problem in that you have bought the load of shite that says where you go to college is really important. It’s not. I had to get over my snobbishness too, so I don’t say this to be hurtful. Read Excellent Sheep - that helped me some. We haven’t raised excellent sheep, you and I. We have raised excelled, creative dyslexic people who are going to thrive in an AI world. If you need a pick me up there are some articles about dyslexic strengths in the AI world - spoiler: in high demand. |
Anonymous
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If your kid’s stats meet the “Awesomely Average” criteria on the FB group College Advice for Awesomely Average Kids, join that group.
So, I have a kid with LDs & ADHD. School is not where he shines. As someone who has multiple advanced degrees & loved school, it is where I shined & assumed my kids would too. It was an …adjustment. Mourn & move on. Your kid probably has skills that make them unique & better than their peers (my kid excels at self-advocacy—and somewhat related—salesmanship, hardwork &, oddly, organization after a lot of effort into EF skills) There are many schools & programs that have excellent outcomes for students. I saw this & bookmarked it. This school has like an 80%+ acceptance rate but *great* job placement for almost every major: https://uwstout.cld.bz/Annual-Employment-Report |
Anonymous
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Hi there. Dysgraphia and ADHD here. It is frustrating to have a smart and crazy curious kid - he watches youtube science and engineering videos for fun - who has to work really hard for his A-s, occasional B or B+. He is likely looking at 3.6 unweighted and 6-7 APs all in science and math. But my goodness he will work harder and know more (reads like crazy) and be more interested then almost any picture perfect kid. But why would a school bother when they can get a picture perfect kid? Top schools are out. I try to remind myself that top schools aren't where he would be happy anyway.
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Anonymous
| My friend's kid with dyslexia and ADHD has done really well at VCU in a STEM major. Super passionate about their field and planning on a PhD with lots of encouragement from their professors. |
Anonymous
Also key to remember! |
Anonymous
| DC's close friend is a highly performing and artistic student with dyslexia attending a T20 school with full tuition ride. |
Anonymous
That’s great! Good for them! OP’s kid is not an academic superstar and she is agonizing about the fact that he isn’t, worried that going to a T20 (or Twhatever) is a measure of or necessary step to the good life. That way madness lies. OP needs help seeing all the possible ways a dyslexic person (any person, really) can thrive and succeed, so she can support her son and not fear for him. There is nothing in her description of him to fear. |
Anonymous
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My DS is a HS junior with dyslexia and I can’t relate to OP.
WTH, OP? This is life and you work with what you have. Honestly, you should have gotten over all this nonsense a long time ago. Resilience, perseverance, and accountability. That’s the focus. Where is your head? |
Anonymous
Why do you care about "top" schools then? If he's good at art and video editing he should be looking at colleges that are good for people in art and video editing. That's probably not Harvard. |
Anonymous
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OP, you have a hard working, bright kid.
That ability to work hard is going to matter SO much more than their ability to go to a perfect school or attain perfect grades. I agree so much w PP who mentioned her son’s strengths— working hard, not being afraid of failure, being creative and resilient. All of these things will serve your child well in college and beyond. - Person who coasted through HS and a top tier college, didn’t learn to work hard until medical school and spent way too long being afraid of any mistake/feeling like a fraud |
Anonymous
+100 What’s with all the moping around? |
Anonymous
Well aren't you enlightened. Sheesh! And what does "Accountability" mean in this context? |
Anonymous
Which are schools like Northwestern, USC, UCLA, and even Syracuse which demand top grades in top classes. So...yeah. |