Should I say something to my daughter's friend's parents?

[Anonymous]

This weekend my 10 year old attended a friend/classmate's 10th birthday. I didn't realize that this friend/classmate had a phone already. She handed her phone off to my daughter without even asking me for my permission first, and her friend's mom and dad were standing right there supervising the birthday party and didn't monitor or do anything about the phone.

Her friend was opening gifts and my daughter ended up using her friend's phone to text and say hi to another close friend on Facebook Kids Messager App; a friend who couldn't attend the party. I was very annoyed and upset that her friend didn't ask me for permission first and that her friend's parents let her have her phone out during the party during the cake and gifts part. The phone was a bad distraction.

My daughter was sad and felt left out after the party. I know because she was telling me that all her friends have messenger apps for texting friends and that she was the only one who doesn't have any apps. She doesn't have a phone but has a tablet for reading and watching movies. Her dad and I had a talk with her further and we said no to phones and social media apps. But she wouldn't have felt sad after that party if her friend had left her phone at home, out of sight, out of mind. I'm not sure if I should bring this up to her parents.

[Anonymous]

Ask your permission? She was just handing it to a friend. Your daughter should have said no.

[Anonymous]

You are not going to get asked permission if a 10 yr old girl chooses to let your daughter play with her "toy". Because that's what it is to them at that age - a toy.

Why would the adults ask your permission? Obviously they think it's okay for a 10 yr old to have a phone. They probably thought their daughter was being nice to let your daughter play with the phone since she doesn't have one herself.

You have nobody to be annoyed at.

[Anonymous]

I say no, because nothing inappropriate happened with the phone.

[Anonymous]

Fake story but let’s play along… if you were there, why didn’t you tell your daughter to put the away or give it back to the friend?

[Anonymous]

You shouldn’t say anything and you need to un-clench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This weekend my 10 year old attended a friend/classmate's 10th birthday. I didn't realize that this friend/classmate had a phone already. She handed her phone off to my daughter without even asking me for my permission first, and her friend's mom and dad were standing right there supervising the birthday party and didn't monitor or do anything about the phone.

Her friend was opening gifts and my daughter ended up using her friend's phone to text and say hi to another close friend on Facebook Kids Messager App; a friend who couldn't attend the party. I was very annoyed and upset that her friend didn't ask me for permission first and that her friend's parents let her have her phone out during the party during the cake and gifts part. The phone was a bad distraction.

My daughter was sad and felt left out after the party. I know because she was telling me that all her friends have messenger apps for texting friends and that she was the only one who doesn't have any apps. She doesn't have a phone but has a tablet for reading and watching movies. Her dad and I had a talk with her further and we said no to phones and social media apps. But she wouldn't have felt sad after that party if her friend had left her phone at home, out of sight, out of mind. [/b]I'm not sure if I should bring this up to her parents.[b]

No

[Anonymous]

It's unreasonable to expect other parents to enforce your phone rules for you, especially when they are busy hosting a party.

[Anonymous]

This is the weirdest story I've read in awhile. Anyway, agree with others, but also messaging apps are NOT social media, and are worth getting your kids on. Now is the time to let them chat with friends- when you can be really up in their business and know exactly what they are saying. Have those conversations now!

It is not very different from the times I spent talking on the phone to my friends after school. I'm not talking about snapchat or insta- but just basic messaging. Either through icloud or facebook kids messenger.

[Anonymous]

These kids are 10. Ask your permission for what? It is even odd you were still there for a tween party. Most parents drop off at this point.

I would not say anything to the parents. They will just think that you are odd. Nothing bad even happened.

I know some kids FaceTime, text, etc from their tablets. My child does not have this function.

[Anonymous]

A phone is no different than a tablet. You were there. You take it and hand it back. Not their fault.

[Anonymous]

Ha ha ha ha ha.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you that elementary aged kids should not have phones... but if the parents allow phones, then of course they will not see any issues with their kid handing their phone to a friend. There is nothing to tell them, here, OP. If YOU were uncomfortable with the situation, you should have acted right there and then. "Larla, let's focus on the party. I'll hand the phone over to Lolita's parents."

And stay strong about the no-phone policy. She will probably need a phone sometime in middle school. It seems like an eternity to her, but she will have to learn patience.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry OP. That sucks. I would talk with the friend's parents so they can get their act together.

/s

[Anonymous]

Would you allow her to put the messenger app on her tablet?