Talking to me like I’ve never cooked before
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Anonymous
| Please help me to stop getting irrationally irritated by this. My elderly, widower father now has to cook for himself. My mother did all the cooking when she was alive. Now he’s always offering me cooking and grocery shopping tips like I’ve never cooked for my family before. DH and I are empty nesters and I am SICK of cooking and would love to never eat Dinner again. I get so irritated every time my father asks me if I know why something is done in cooking a particular dish, etc. Does anyone else have to deal with this? |
Anonymous
|
Lol, my uncle used to literally explain to my mom how to BOIL WATER. Like, first, you get a pot, then you fill it with water... SO ANNOYING.
At least he's trying to share something with you? And it's pretty benign. He's probably excited about learning this new thing and it's some form of connection. But I totally, totally get how you feel. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes we just have to listen to what they want to talk about. Were you super interested in dinosaurs when your kids were? One fiend’s widowed dad loved trains. She still has littles at home and was on a call with him while she talked about trains. Something urgent happened with the kids and she set the phone down, handled kid stuff, and came back to the phone and he was still talking about trains. She has a lovely husband who would alternate calls with her. Just tune out and yes and nod at intervals and enjoy still having your parent. |
Anonymous
| Can you flip the script a bit and share tips with him? He’s sharing his “new discovery” with you, and it’s actually a nice silver lining that has come out of losing his wife. Gently remind him every time you talk that you have been cooking and grocery shopping for years, and then maybe share his “tips” with you. You don’t have to love cooking to have this conversation with him. In fact, every time you do have this conversation with him, remind yourself that you don’t actually have to do any of this and take pleasure in it! |
Anonymous
| He misses your mom and talking about cooking gives him an excuse to mention her indirectly. |
Anonymous
| Maybe he's just excited about his new hobby? |
Anonymous
This. Pretend he’s a toddler, and just smile and nod. And yea, I know it’s obnoxious of me to say this, but count your blessings. |
Anonymous
| Truly, take a breathe. He has limited things to talk about. |
Anonymous
| For the majority of your life, he likely listened to you yammer on about whatever interested you (as a child/teen, college years, about your kids, etc). Now its time to return the favor. |
Anonymous
| It’s new to him - he sounds proud of knowing this stuff he once left to someone else. To you it’s a chore (me too so I get it), but he is just discovering it. |
Anonymous
My dad is also cooking for himself for the first time at 79 and i think it’s funny the things he’s sharing with me now such as the health benefits of sweet potatoes. I am just glad he’s trying and not living on frozen pizza. |
Anonymous
| Is he trying to just connect with you? |
Anonymous
| I see both sides here. If you're getting so irritated, perhaps you're doing way too much, OP. Can you cut back? |
Anonymous
| Some of you are entirely too naive. |
Anonymous
|
I'm a tax attorney. My mother, who is not a tax professional, has explained, in a condescending tone, more times than I can count, how there is a difference between a credit and a deduction. Yeah mom, ok, and 1 + 1 = 2. I've got it, FFS.
It's annoying. But they aren't going to stop doing it. |