Lessons vs “real team” activities at age 10

[Anonymous]

Anyone else have a 10yo who just… doesn’t want the traditional team sport path? Mine likes trying things (ninja, skateboarding, tennis lessons) but has no desire to commit to a competitive sport/team and seems happiest in lower-pressure activities.

I go back and forth between “this is totally fine” and worrying she’s falling behind socially or missing out on the benefits of having a real activity container/community. Curious how others have handled this at this age.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. I’d stick with tennis for sure. It’s a team sport in high school and some middle schools. She can continue to do lessons and some USTA tournaments until then.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine. She's getting exercise and that's the point. Skills can be learned at any age.

[Anonymous]

You could consider scouting of some sort.

At the middle and high school level there are other collective activities that provide community: band, orchestra, choir, Model UN, robotics team, drama club, newspaper, and yearbook are some.

[Anonymous]

Of course - there are plenty of things a kid can do without having to participate in team sports.

[Anonymous]

You are ridiculous. if your kid is happy, healthy and active, stop worrying
parent the child you have, not the child you want.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine. If she is missing a group activity you can find something non sporty. The individual sport things are great for exercise and body awareness.

[Anonymous]

You are part of the problem, OP, if you continue thinking that team sports is the end-all, be-all. This country has a youth team sports obsession and it's not good.

Neither of my kids did team sports. Their group activities were mostly school and private choirs and orchestras. One did Model UN for a bit. Both my son and daughter also did ballet, gym and horseback riding, and a bit of sailing with their dad.

[Anonymous]

^ sailing IS a team activity! If you don't work as a team, you end up in the water, or with a concussion when the boom smacks you in the head Horseback riding, you're teaming up with your horse. I know this isn't what you asked about, but there are ways to exercise your attention to detail and communication muscles outside of traditional team sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are part of the problem, OP, if you continue thinking that team sports is the end-all, be-all. This country has a youth team sports obsession and it's not good.

Neither of my kids did team sports. Their group activities were mostly school and private choirs and orchestras. One did Model UN for a bit. Both my son and daughter also did ballet, gym and horseback riding, and a bit of sailing with their dad.

Yikes, not really. I’m a single parent and I was never a sports/team person myself, so I’m trying hard not to force it. But it’s hard not to notice that basically all of her close friends have some kind of team or “thing.” I’ve already had multiple people ask if she’s doing swim team this summer. Intellectually I know kids don’t have to do team sports, but socially it can still feel a little isolating or like she’s on the outside looking in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ sailing IS a team activity! If you don't work as a team, you end up in the water, or with a concussion when the boom smacks you in the head Horseback riding, you're teaming up with your horse. I know this isn't what you asked about, but there are ways to exercise your attention to detail and communication muscles outside of traditional team sports.

I think she was talking more about team sports that compete against other teams. Girls in high school who play team sports that play against outside teams like basketball, soccer, softball, hockey are a very small minority. These are no better or worse than any other physical activities to choose from.

[Anonymous]

My 10 yo whose only sport is tennis also does orchestra at school and scouts.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally get where you are coming from, just trying to do your best for your kid! If your DD feels like she’s missing out, try a rec team this fall. Not too late at all, especially for girls. But if she’s happy and her schedule is full, then it’s truly fine. It may seem like everyone is doing something, but that’s usually just perception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are part of the problem, OP, if you continue thinking that team sports is the end-all, be-all. This country has a youth team sports obsession and it's not good.

Neither of my kids did team sports. Their group activities were mostly school and private choirs and orchestras. One did Model UN for a bit. Both my son and daughter also did ballet, gym and horseback riding, and a bit of sailing with their dad.

Yikes, not really. I’m a single parent and I was never a sports/team person myself, so I’m trying hard not to force it. But it’s hard not to notice that basically all of her close friends have some kind of team or “thing.” I’ve already had multiple people ask if she’s doing swim team this summer. Intellectually I know kids don’t have to do team sports, but socially it can still feel a little isolating or like she’s on the outside looking in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could consider scouting of some sort.

At the middle and high school level there are other collective activities that provide community: band, orchestra, choir, Model UN, robotics team, drama club, newspaper, and yearbook are some.

I think if you're waiting until high school on things like band and orchestra it would be hard to break in (I've seen a few exceptions to this but not many). All the rest of these are definitely activities that you can get into without prior experience.