Job offers while pregnant

[Anonymous]

I am in a fortunate but tricky situation. I am in a pretty toxic work environment and things came to a head a few weeks ago. I won't get into the details, but I decided I had to leave for my own health, and began aggressively applying to jobs. I am in a pretty niche field and was fortunate enough to get a good response to my resume: I've received one offer and am anticipating at least one more. All jobs are remote, have good salary and benefits, etc.

The challenge? I am 12 weeks pregnant and would really like 12 weeks off after giving birth (unpaid is not an issue and what I would expect). I figure I have the below options:

1) Disclose after receiving a written offer; see what various companies will accommodate (in one interview specifically, they spoke a lot about prioritizing work life balance, family life, etc. and I got good vibes from that interaction).
2) Not disclose, start job, and let them know closer to giving birth: if they can't accommodate any leave, I would just quit and reevaluate later. Fortunately, my spouse and I have good savings, live frugally, and could make it work on one salary.

I know this is not ideal, but I am a good employee, work hard, and my position tends to be hard to fill. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Once you have the offer ask for full details on benefits including health insurance, leave policies, etc. - that is a very normal thing to want. With that documentation you should have an answer to what leave they offfer and what you qualify for based on start date. That will give you your technical answers.

Now how your manager/team feels about you taking mat leave so soon into a new role is another story. I personally don't think it's a big deal given how early you are in your pregnancy. It's not like you're going to start the job and leave a week later. You have no obligation to disclose, but I understand the reality of how "hiding it" can be perceived.

If you got good vibes and the benefits documentation they offered you suggests that you qualify for leave, I would discuss it when you have the offer in hand. If you're don't get clear anwers on what you likely qualify for, I would disclose later in your pregnancy and hope that the good work you've done until then will demonstrate to them that you are an asset worth supporting.

[Anonymous]

i lost five pregnancies before i took home a baby. i disclosed my pregnancy at around 28 weeks.

i have had male colleagues take 12 weeks off for the birth of a child with literally -2 days notice. (two days into "family emergency", he notified us his wife had her baby a couple weeks early and he would be back in 12 weeks)

fmla requires 30 days notice where possible; while fmla wont apply to you i would view anything more than 30 days notice as reasonable.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has worked somewhere that rescinded an offer when an applicant revealed she was pregnant, I would wait to disclose.

[Anonymous]

I went through this years ago. I got the offer and was planning to accept. It was for a job that included overseeing the organization's big annual meeting, which would take place a month after I was due. I called up the CEO (who would be my supervisor) and basically said, "I'm pregnant, here's when I'm due. I'm planning on taking 12 weeks of maternity leave and do not expect it to be paid. I will plan on being on-site for the upcoming meeting, assuming I do not have any complications. I would like your assurance that this is acceptable, and if you anticipate any issues with the timing of this, I will decline the offer with no hard feelings." They were completely fine with it and I was paid for the on-site time worked, along with some additional work I did while at home. Fortunately, it was my second child and was pretty confident I would be in good enough shape to make the trip for a few days and I was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has worked somewhere that rescinded an offer when an applicant revealed she was pregnant, I would wait to disclose.

Isn’t this highly illegal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has worked somewhere that rescinded an offer when an applicant revealed she was pregnant, I would wait to disclose.

Isn’t this highly illegal?

someone looking for a job while pregnant probably doesn't have the funds or energy to pursue a lawsuit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has worked somewhere that rescinded an offer when an applicant revealed she was pregnant, I would wait to disclose.

Isn’t this highly illegal?

Oh yes! We were sued and settled, but I wouldn't want to go through that if I could help it.

[Anonymous]

In this economy I would wait, and then disclose when you are 6 months. Hide the belly. Fortunately, it will be cold in office building this summer so wear a seater and baggy loose clothing. Get your doctor to write a letter that you are going into medical rest when you are actually 8-9 months due to the nature of the pregnancy.

They don't need to know how far along you are.

Other option, we are likely to be hybrid with the hantavirus, so it likely will work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In this economy I would wait, and then disclose when you are 6 months. Hide the belly. Fortunately, it will be cold in office building this summer so wear a seater and baggy loose clothing. Get your doctor to write a letter that you are going into medical rest when you are actually 8-9 months due to the nature of the pregnancy.

They don't need to know how far along you are.

Other option, we are likely to be hybrid with the hantavirus, so it likely will work out.

it's actually a fully remote job. so fortunately, won't really need to hide the belly!

[Anonymous]

If the job is fully remote. Have the baby and take off two weeks vacation but keep working. Have your mother and his mother help on a rotation system or try to hire a mother's helper during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the job is fully remote. Have the baby and take off two weeks vacation but keep working. Have your mother and his mother help on a rotation system or try to hire a mother's helper during the day.

Bad advice. Two weeks? Childbirth isn’t a man cold.

[Anonymous]

Female here. There is no good answer. I’m currently hiring. It will take the new hire about 6mo to ramp up and be fully self sufficient. Which is just in time for OP to be heading out on leave. That’s another 3 months downtime for me. And let’s be honest, no one hits the ground running the first week back from any extended leave.

As a woman I understand—pregnancy happens when it happens. As a hiring manager, I realize that I cannot discriminate against a pregnancy. However I would be highly annoyed to find out that an employee hid something from me even before starting. The flip side is that had I known, I probably would have selected a different candidate.

So as I said—there’s no good answer.

[Anonymous]

People now are hired when pregnant…even visibly so. I think managers conclude if it isn’t this person out on parental leave, it will be another person out. Do not shorten leave especially for a first child. You will never recapture that time.

[Anonymous]

I went through the hiring process at a major corporation during my first trimester. I was pretty stressed about it, but knew there was a chance they would pass on me if they knew. It took two months from application to offer, so by the time I started I was in my second trimester.

I told my new boss I was expecting on my second day on the job. To his credit, he congratulated me. I was there five months before taking six months off unpaid.