Realized I just don’t like my house

[Anonymous]

I’m really social and get together with friends several days a week. I realized I haven’t had a friend over our house in years. I really get stressed hosting people due to how it is set up or not set up for entertaining. Our house on the most fundamental level is just not one I’m proud of and feel good about. There’s small things that drive me crazy that would require knocking down walls to fix. We have owed it 12 years. Worth about 1.25m, mortgage is 400k. I can get a house with more features I am looking for - one story or master downstairs , flatter yard with pool, about 500-1000 more sf (we have 2500) for about 1.55-6. We have always thought we would do a big renovation but I’m actually thinking maybe we should just buy a different house. I think financially it makes the most sense to stay put but isn’t having a home you’re excited about important too? Tell me if anyone’s been in this situation. We would stay in the same hood but a less busy street.

[Anonymous]

I'm in that situation but there is no space for an addition. The layout is really awkward and cramped for hosting. Our options are basically to finish our tiny attic (which will help with kid hobby space, but obviously not entertaining, and we'd have to get rid of a lot of stuff in storage) or move.

I do hope to move in the future, maybe another 3-5 years, so I'm not pulling the trigger on the attic just yet, but for now I'm trying to suck it up. Yeah, I'm not proud of our place and I sometimes feel awkward inviting people over. People still like to be invited, and time with friends is valuable.

[Anonymous]

OP we pulled the trigger but my crisis criteria was location. Both homes were in excellent locations but the new one is closer to school and kid sport activities. The extra drive was making me absolutely crazy with the age of the kids and the back and forths that happen at that age.

Should I have sucked it up for a few years? I don't think so. So far it has been very worth it to be in the new location.

Your crisis is entertaining and layout (and somewhat aging in place with a master on the ground floor). That's even longer term than my crisis. So you really need to weigh in your happiness factor.

[Anonymous]

Yes. If rates ever move to at least 3 range I’m so outta here

[Anonymous]

If there is a will there is a way. If you like hosting you will. Deep down you don't like hosting and it is fine.

[Anonymous]

We live in a city apartment so it's not exactly the same scenario, but we decided to scratch a plan to move to the suburbs and hired a decorator to help us reinvent the space we already had. We did not take down walls or do any major construction, but we did paint everything, replace most of our furniture, rugs, window treatment, and lighting fixtures. The end result changed the way we used rooms, created more efficient storage opportunities, and was magazine-layout beautiful to boot.

No, it was not a cheap fix. But it cost less than moving, and ten years later I have zero regrets about our choices.

[Anonymous]

I hate our house. I hate it when we bought it. I still hate it, 15 years later. To get the three things I want that would make me happy, we would have to pay like a million dollars more. Doesn't make financial sense. So I just am stuck in this house that I hate.

[Anonymous]

If your house is 2500sq feet, maybe this can be mitigated a bit without doing full out remodeling? 2500sq ft is a pretty decently sized house. Can you give more detail on the issues? Maybe someone will have some ideas.

I have the opposite problem- I love my house but don’t like the neighborhood. It’s a pickle too.

[Anonymous]

I don't like my house. Lovely neighborhood, great location, but too small and boring. But a 2.7% mortgage keeps us trapped. Anything remotely nicer means doubling our payments, often more.

[Anonymous]

If you want a new house and you can afford it then what’s the question?

[Anonymous]

Unless there is some reason to stay for location, yes you should just move. Go make yourself happy! You can afford it, this is an easy one.

[Anonymous]

I am all for moving if you want to, but people host fabulous dinner parties in tiny NYC apartments. You can also host at restaurants. Or a hotel!

I mean for sure move if you want to, but don't count on it to make you happier. Some things will be easier and some will be harder.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. Your reasons seem wishy washy. Wherever you go, there you are: you might not feel comfortable welcoming people into your new house either.

I'm the opposite. My house is 1200 sq ft, and it looks like a cute-ish cottage, but it's terribly cluttered because we're a family of 4. I invite friends over, and when the kids were little, we had dinner parties and birthday parties. Now the kids are grown (one of them is in college but lives at home in the summer), we tend to invite individual friends.

My house is decidedly imperfect and inconvenient in many ways, but I haven't lost any friends because of it
I love my house, mostly because since it's so small and the main floor is open concept, it receives a lot of natural light. I believe this has helped prevent depression during stressful times in my life.

[Anonymous]

Mortgage rate drives a lot of this decision.

If your rate is 3-4% or so and you can cash flow the renovation, stay.

If your rate is higher, consider a move instead of a reno.

[Anonymous]

I like my house but it’s not perfect and has flaws. Spouse is very unhappy with it and wants to be in a better location within our neighborhood. I agree with him on location. That’s something we can’t fix, so we are actively looking and will move when the right house comes on the market (we have a very specific list of wants/needs). We are kicking ourselves a bit that we didn’t look sooner. Our kids are entering high school and part of me thinks it’s a little silly to move now, but I think we have a good eight more years of kids in the house (and home on college visits) and that still feels like a long time to be in a house we don’t love.