Is is normal for kids to hit their parents?

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old daughter has been hitting me lately. She has a piano recital that she doesn’t want to play in this afternoon and she hit me with a reading book while I was driving her to her lesson this morning and punched me in the arm when we got there.

On Thursday, my daughter shoved me, hit me, and scratched me multiple times when I suggested that she practice piano. She was looking for something to do and I casually suggested that she practice if she needed something to do.

Is this normal 12 yr old behavior? She doesn’t hit anyone else; she wins awards at school for good behavior and does well academically.

I let her quit soccer, violin, ballet, and debate club…she can’t quit everything. Isn’t it reasonable to expect kids to play one instrument and do one sport?

[Anonymous]

Not unless the child is 3 years or younger, or has special needs. Otherwise, not normal.

[Anonymous]

No, not normal. What consequences did you give her?

[Anonymous]

Oh my…is she neurodivergent?…it’s not normal for NT children.

[Anonymous]

Not at all normal. But because she doesn’t do this to anyone else, I don’t think it’s a neuropsych issue. Rather she has zero respect for you for some reason. Perhaps you are too permissive? If she has a phone or iPad- those need to be taken away indefinitely. And no she may not quit sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not normal. What consequences did you give her?

I didn’t know what to do. I was severely abused as a kid, so being hit feels familiar, almost welcome, yet distressing at the same time.

I told her that’s it’s not okay to hit me, but she just hit me again then.

My husband told her not to hit me and I scheduled a session with the school counselor, who told my daughter to just walk away when she wants to hit me.

I wonder if my daughter needs psychiatric help. Prozac? I wonder if she is anxious or depressed.

[Anonymous]

No not normal.
However, if you allowed it to happen without consequence you have normalized it to her.
Tell her going forward X will happen if she hits you again, whether her hand or an implement like a book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not normal. What consequences did you give her?

I didn’t know what to do. I was severely abused as a kid, so being hit feels familiar, almost welcome, yet distressing at the same time.

I told her that’s it’s not okay to hit me, but she just hit me again then.

My husband told her not to hit me and I scheduled a session with the school counselor, who told my daughter to just walk away when she wants to hit me.

I wonder if my daughter needs psychiatric help. Prozac? I wonder if she is anxious or depressed.

She needs to be told No. Today.
Next time it happens she loses all electronics for a week. It’s totally unacceptable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not normal. What consequences did you give her?

I didn’t know what to do. I was severely abused as a kid, so being hit feels familiar, almost welcome, yet distressing at the same time.

I told her that’s it’s not okay to hit me, but she just hit me again then.

My husband told her not to hit me and I scheduled a session with the school counselor, who told my daughter to just walk away when she wants to hit me.

I wonder if my daughter needs psychiatric help. Prozac? I wonder if she is anxious or depressed.

She needs to be told No. Today.
Next time it happens she loses all electronics for a week. It’s totally unacceptable

She doesn’t have a phone or iPad. She has a school computer that she uses for homework.

I could take away books for a day or week. She likes to read.

[Anonymous]

I hope you are trolling.
Obviously, this is totally unacceptable.
Biggest concern is she is using this as a coping mechanism and it will become her default. If you do not take drastic steps to curb this, she will be arrested and imprisoned for assault on someone else.
Don’t be afraid to call the police and report it, first offense would be a summary but would open doors to treatment that are otherwise unreachable.

[Anonymous]

No it's not ok. And a safety issue when you're driving. She should be grounded. All toys and books gone from her room. School computer use is supervised at the dining room table for homework only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope you are trolling.
Obviously, this is totally unacceptable.
Biggest concern is she is using this as a coping mechanism and it will become her default. If you do not take drastic steps to curb this, she will be arrested and imprisoned for assault on someone else.
Don’t be afraid to call the police and report it, first offense would be a summary but would open doors to treatment that are otherwise unreachable.

Wow, I really don’t want to call the police. Can I take her to dominion hospital for help? Do they have a child unit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my…is she neurodivergent?…it’s not normal for NT children.

I don’t let my kid with autism hit me. So no it is not normal for neurodivergent kids either.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's not normal. The fact that you have to ask this shows why your daughter is doing what she's doing. Step up and be a parent

[Anonymous]

No.